I read with interest a recent blog post here discussing gerotranscendence vs cognitive decline. I confess I had to read it a several times, look up the meaning of gerotranscendence and I’ve given up on ever being able to pronounce that “G” word. But I think I understand and I can definitely appreciate what was said. For my parents there are no longer seasons of the year, days of the weeks or hours of the day; for them everyday is today and their world is one that they’ve made.
Moments no longer connect into memories, the stories they recount never happened, the people the recall are long dead; everyday is today and the world is one that they’ve made.
I get frustrated and sometimes question the value of my efforts, of trying to go beyond basic support. Does it really matter? Does it make a difference? Good or bad they won’t remember. Seconds after I leave them, they never knew I was there.
But I know Heaven sees what going on and a moment of joy has value in and of itself. It doesn’t have to be remembered or connected with another. So as much as I can I spend time with my parents, I join them in their special place and I remember…this is what they did for infant me; when everyday was today and the world was one that I’d made.
Hi Jo–Oh, those are tough questions, aren’t they? The “Does it really matter?” and “Does it make a difference?” can really make you want to just stay in bed.
It does matter. It does make a difference. And, you remember. That’s why it matters and why it makes a difference.
Thanks for a beautiful post. Hope you and the kids are having some fun today.
Thank you Jo. My mother is just beginning with memory challenges within her dementia. It’s not moments, but often the day. Something fun that happens today (like going out to dinner or a phone call), she will not necessarily remember tomorrow. I try and remember she had the day…just like you are giving your parents their special moments. It can be tiring though, thank you for this reminder to try and keep her days happy.