Kicking the Guilt Trip

Today on Your Caregiving Journey, Bette joined us to talk about her caregiving days. (You can listen to Bette’s previous appearances here and here. You can listen to today’s show via the player at the bottom of the post.) During our previous shows, Bette spoke about the guilt she feels when she leaves her mother. Today, she spoke about how she leaves—and leaves without guilt. Overcoming her guilt...

How… Will You Take Happiness Today?

So, it’s Saturday, which means it’s time for our weekly ritual where we talk about being happiness, even if only for a moment, today. How will you be happy today? Be sure to share below. Program Note: Table Talk airs at Noon CT (1 p.m. ET, 10 a.m. PT) today; Bette, one of our family caregivers who blogs, will tell us about her summer and how the start of school affects her caregiving days. You can...

Trying Something New

Yesterday Steve had a visit with his neurologist. I was not looking forward to this visit. After we stopped attending the cognitive therapy session, the therapist sent us a copy of the report she sent to the doctor. The report read like a report card for a student who is not working up to his potential in class. I told our son that I thought I’d be coming home yesterday with an “F” in caregiving. ...

September 10

Mum is over her crisis, but we’re still not sure what it was or what caused it. She didn’t want to eat Monday or Tuesday. We got about 1 litre of sustenance into her on Monday via syringes while she was sleeping. She sucks away at the syringe in her sleep. Tuesday, the same kind of treatment. I was discouraged by Tuesday night when I looked through the glass doors from where I was watering the grass and...

Help a Hospice Nurse: What Product Do You Use for Personal Care?

I received the following email this morning from a hospice nurse, who requested your help: I am trying to find out if there is a product out there to help caregivers pull a patient up in the bed, or turn them from side to side, or change a Depends when the patient can’t help and there is no one else to help. I am a hospice nurse who has many patients who need to do this and don’t have anyone to help...

Give a Caregiving Conundrum to our Council of Caregivers

It’s hard to feel good about so many decisions you face in your caregiving role. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a sounding board? A group of current and former family caregivers (as well as a few health care professionals) who can offer help as you face a decision? Our Council of Caregivers does that just that. Our Council can help you tackle decisions and worries relating to: Alzheimer’s Family...

The Emotionally Draining Highs and Lows

There have many highs and lows in this past week. One week ago today my mother-in-law passed away in the early morning. She was 88-years-old and, except for her last two years of her life when she was fighting ovarian cancer, she lived a healthy life. It was difficult to say good-by to her, but we know she is now free of all sadness and sickness and is experiencing only pure joy with her Lord. We are happy for...

Unstuffing the Stuff

Stuffed because of your caree’s stuff? Looking at a house full of stuff that needs to go because of your caree’s move? This morning on Your Caregiving Journey, Julie Hall, author of “The Boomer Burden: Dealing with Your Parents’ Lifetime Accumulation of Stuff,” offered tips and suggestions when you’re faced with cleaning out your caree’s house. (You can listen to our...

Have You Ever Thought…

Today was a particularly challenging one.  There seems to have been a run on these lately. My mother has been having an extreme amount of pain in her legs.  I am thinking it is because she does not want to get up and walk around during the day.  She had an appointment to have her hair done this morning and we were able to have our favorite aide (:  .  Pat took care of her mother years ago and is extremely...

Jaguars, and Pandas and Enrichment Activities? Oh, WOW!

On Sunday our family went to the San Diego Zoo. I booked the Inside Look tour because our son and I LOVE “our” baby panda, Yun Zi, and I was hoping the tour would give us a better opportunity to see him. I made my panda request when I booked the tour and was told they don’t take requests. Oh, well, it would still be fun, I thought. Well, I could not have dreamed of a better experience for our family! I...

Is Caregiving a Secret in Our Communities?

I received a very nice email over the weekend from a colleague who forwards information about our site’s activities to her colleagues, which includes ministers at her local churches. She forwards the information so they have resources to share with their church members in a caregiving role. In response to her messages, they write back, telling her “thanks, but no thanks.” They tell her they...

Countdown to Chicago!

Last month, we announced that our First Annual Caregiving Conference will take place November 6 and 7 in Chicago. The conference will give us a chance to meet in person, share comfort and support, and gain perspectives and insights. Our weekend get-away also will provide you with just that—a chance to get away for some R&R. (To join us, visit here for details. The conference is limited to 30 family...

This Week’s Poll: How Does the End of Summer Impact Your Routine?

I don’t think I’ve been so sad to see a summer end like this one. I think it felt like you all had more time to spend on Caregiving.com—and I so enjoyed that. Now, with fall, we’re all back to the hustle and bustle which sometimes keeps us too busy. So, on that melancholy note, vote in this week’s poll, sponsored by us and eCareDiary.com: How does the end of summer impact your...

Can We Ever Share Too Much?

Often times,  I choose not to share the added challenges that caregiving can bring with Greg. Although, even when we were dating we talked about the possibility of caring for my mother one day (my dad had passed away), somehow I feel like this responsibility is ‘more mine’, and I worry about what his responses might be. So many times in caregiving (or in raising children) there are no quick...

Everyday is Today and the World is One that You’ve Made

I read with interest a recent blog post here discussing gerotranscendence vs cognitive decline. I confess I had to read it a several times, look up the meaning of gerotranscendence and I’ve given up on ever being able to pronounce that “G” word. But I think I understand and I can definitely appreciate what was said. For my parents there are no longer seasons of the year, days of the weeks or hours of the...

How Do You Use Your Intuition in Caregiving?

Chicago Tribune recently ran an article about using intuition in business. The article ended with an exercise on how to use intuition: Get quiet. (yes — this means turn off the radio, TV, whatever.) Inwardly ask the question at hand. Listen. Do you hear a name? Get an impression? Feel. How does your body react? Sick to your stomach? Happy and elated? Don’t doubt your first impression. It’s most...

ESP

ESP usually means “extrasensory perception.” Today, it means: Execute a Special Plan. When you look around and think, “I’m out of options. I can’t find another choice,” use your ESP. When you want to sit and cry because nothing seems to work, use your ESP. When you want to run and hide because it seems so much bigger than you, use your ESP. Your ESP contains ideas, suggestions,...

September 5th

Yesterday, which is house cleaning day, mum was handed the squeedgy and with the aid pushing her wheelchair, worked quite hard to clean the floor.  She worked hard all her life so she still wants to help! You can see her swollen feet which we are always massaging to get the swelling to go down.  Maybe you can see the dark bruises on her shins. She rubs a foot on her leg when she is lying down and it bruises. We...

How Will Make Room for Happiness Today?

On Saturdays, we focus on knowing on our happiness—even if for a moment. So, today, tell us: How will you make room for happiness?

Classes for the Caregiving Years

In our Caregiving Support group this week, the subject of caregiving classes came up. Classes are a great idea—they offer an opportunity to connect with other family caregivers while you learn and grow in your caregiving role. Some resources for you: Community colleges: Check with your local community college about caregiving training. Some colleges received funding to offer the training; you can learn more...

Never Thought of This One

(Editor’s Note: Today, we welcome Jo to our blogging family. Jo is a widower, single parent to two teenagers and caregiver for both his mother and father both of whom are in their 80’s and have dementia. You can read more about Jo, as well as all the bloggers, here.) When assessing a facility for my parents I reviewed many things. Among them: quality, training and quantity of staff; state inspections;...

Grief, Hope, and Faith

My husband’s Mom passed away early this morning. She was a special and loving mother-in-law. She gave me my husband of 39 years. If it were not for her, I also would not have my three sons and their wives and my seven grandchildren. She was a woman who was always in good health until her mid 80s when she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She went through chemo treatments and the accompanying loss of her...