The weather has been hot and dry. Mum has suffered a lot but the two helpers are really good at getting mum to drink lots of juice and eat regularly. She has her 2 soups a day plus more solid food and this way we have been able to keep her healthy. It’s a constant battle because sometimes she doesn’t want to have the soup or drink the juice and you have to keep on insisting.

Mum is also slowly losing her teeth. Last week, another tooth had to be pulled as it was very loose and was causing her pain. I feel very sad at seeing her gap-toothed. She was always so careful about brushing, flossing and going to the dentist regularly. We brush her teeth and use mouthwash, but she’s just outliving her teeth. All her food has to be soft, but she still likes eating, so I figure we’ll have to use macaroni, spaghetti, not al dente, but softer, and risotos. Things that are tasty, but soft.

As far as the dry weather is concerned, we had three rains this week so I’m hoping the rains have finally come and will settle in on a regular basis. It’s still really hot, but now at least it’s not just 20% humidity.

Mum’s  skin is paper thin and she hurts herself a lot on her shins and elbows. Just by rubbing a foot against the other she can scratch herself. The other day she was in her bath chair and was trying to jump up so the aid grabbed her leg and the skin came off. It’s a piece of skin that is right on top of some veins so it’s not healing very quickly. We put Dersane oil on it and iodine plus I bought more Cubitan supplement which has all the vitamins necessary to help heal bedsores. I figure it’ll help heal other sores too. We also use lotion with ureia which is what the doctor prescribed to keep mum’s skin hydrated.

Mum is also losing her speech more and more. She can barely talk anymore. She makes noises that I think she thinks is speech. Very sad!! She gets frustrated and tries to get up off her chair and can’t and works herself into a real nervous episode in which she groans really loudly and thrashes about. The aid has to hold her hands so she won’t unintentionally hurt herself.

I’m going to have to go to her gerontologist to see if there is any kind of medicine to take to calm her down when she is like this. This happens almost everyday and it’s hard to study when she is like this. You can’t concentrate. I keep expecting the neighbours to call the police thinking we’re mistreating her and she’s groaning/yelling from being badly treated. The doctor asked us if mum was bothering the neighbours. She wasn’t yet, but maybe now she is. Poor, poor mum! She never wanted to cause trouble for anyone!

On a different note, today is election day for state legislature, congress, governors and president. Since all voting here is electronic, no paper ballots involved, we should know the results of the election by 10 p.m. We’ll probably have the country’s first woman president.

I’m thinking I might have to talk to a psychologist just to get things off my chest. At least I’m toying with the idea as I don’t have anyone to talk to about how I FEEL about mum’s situation etc and I’m feeling more and more under the weather. But I’d have to find the right one to talk to, someone who knows about the constant grief that exists when you see someone outlive their personality. As well, I’m getting ornery and tired of cheerful, noble caregivers who are always on top of things. I feel this is very childish of me, but the feeling is there, so it’d be good to get if off my chest, work it out and proceed on the way.

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