Adult Day Service Centers Increase in Number But Waiting Lists Indicate The Need for More

According to “The MetLife National Study of Adult Day Services: Providing Support to Individuals and Their Family Caregivers,” more than 4,600 Adult Day Services (ADS) centers are available nationwide, a 35% increase since 2002. The study, produced in collaboration with the National Adult Day Services Association (NADSA) and The Ohio State University College of Social Work, reports that these centers...

Communication

I have done my best to communicate well with all of Mom’s doctor’s and check to be sure that they communicate with each other. However, Mom does not always communicate everything with me. The evening before we went to see her GP, she experienced chest pain while I was helping her bathe. I got her Nitroglycerin and it went away right away. At the doctor’s, I reminded her to tell him about this,...

Fight

Oh, the fights! You may feel like you fight with your family members, with the health care providers, with the dratted folding wheelchair. The worst fights, though, may be the ones you have with yourself. The internal battles over what’s best, what’s right, and what’s next can exhaust and sometimes paralyze. You may get so caught up in your internal war that you lose sight of your external...

Mom and the Shelf

The other day, Mom pulled the shelf in her bedroom over. She was not hurt, because it did not come down on top of her. She said she didn’t know what happened. “It just came down.” Well, she just wanted to see what was in the gift package that I set on the top shelf. I put the package up there a week ago and told her and showed her what was in it—a quilt for Audra’s baby. I wanted a place to put it where...

Setting the Stage for Future Gifts

We often talk about how the struggles of today lead to the blessings of tomorrow. It can be hard to believe this to be true. How can the todays full of sorrow create a good in the tomorrows? CBS’s “Sunday Morning” featured a segment this morning about a family’s tough time which turned into another family’s miracle, ten years later. You can read the story and view the video episode...

Rocks And Sticks On The Path

I am upset, surprisingly and not so surprisingly, very upset. The sad thing is, the only ones who will understand why, are other caregivers, or ex-caregivers. It appears I made a mistake at something I posted online, and it upset the individual it was directed to, which was not my intention. The whole situation came back at me, and I broke down. I realized the request and comment I had made was not inappropriate at...

When Were You Happy You Did the Right Thing?

This week, I struggled with doing the right thing. So, on Table Talk today, I shared the five lessons I learned from this week. (You can listen to the show via the player at the bottom of the post.) My five lessons are: 1. The definition of what’s right changes depending on circumstances. For instance, what’s right when your caree can be safe at home is very different from what’s right when your...

You Need to Get Your Parents Right Now!

With those words this past February my role in caring for my parents jumped from casual, distant supporter to hands-on, full responsibility. It also marked the entry of my parents into a full-time living facility. It’s not that we never talked about it. Mom and Dad had been mentally declining for years. Based on what I know now I’m sure they had early onset Alzheimer’s. While they were still living in their...

Trying Something New – Again!

About a month ago, I wrote that Steve’s neurologist put Steve on the Exelon patch, while not changing any of his other medications. After trying this for 10 days, Steve took himself off the patch. He was more tired than ever and had now gone from feeling fuzzy to actually being dizzy. Yesterday was the one month follow-up visit for the patch. We told the doctor what had happened and what we did. The doctor...

Which Direction??

The kids were all excited, a friend of mine had invited them to go with her and her two boys to a Book Fair at the middle school today. They were running around the house looking for shoes and jackets. Just as my friend drove up, in all the excitement, my mother started hollering to me.  She was crying, “I can’t get my clothes on,” she said. I could have cried too. I wanted to see the kids...

Our First Council of Caregiver Talk Show Takes Place October 14

On Thursday, October 14, at 6:30 p.m. CT (7:30 p.m. ET, 4:30 p.m. PT) on Your Caregiving Journey, our Council of Caregivers will tackle its first caregiving conundrum. The Council will share its insights in response to this question: How do I train to endure caregiving? Joining me on the 14th will be: Bette, who cares for her mom and who posed the question; Jo, who cares for his parents while raising his two...

It’s Us Against Alzheimer’s

Yesterday morning, USAgainstAlzheimer’s launched its campaign to erase Alzheimer’s by 2020. Between now and 2020, the organization said, more than 2 trillion will be spent caring for those with the disease and less than $5 billion will be invested by NIH in stopping this disease. USAgainstAlzheimer’s wants “to give a political voice to the American people who can no longer tolerate the lack of...

A Tale of Tribune

(Editor’s Note: Today, I hope you’ll indulge me as I write about a work issue, rather than a caregiving one. From August 2005 until March 2010, I worked at Tribune Co., the company which made front-page news yesterday in The New York Times. The article, “At Flagging Tribune, Tales of a Bankrupt Culture,” describes a culture of lewd behavior, led by the CEO, Randy Michaels. I debated and debated...

Wednesday Ramblings

Stress seems to be the name of the game these days for anyone who has a job. Troy, one of my sons, is very stressed with his new job. Employers seem to know that they have the upper hand in this economy. Troy is also very worried he will lose his job. Brian, my son from London, is somewhat worried about his job also. My stress level is often high too these days. Things seem to be getting more difficult in caring...

USAgainst Alzheimer’s Campaign Rolls Out Today

(Editor’s Note: USAgainstAlzheimer’s launched its official campaign to end Alzheimer’s by 2020 today. I’m sharing the press release about the campaign and this morning’s press conference, below. Look for more about the campaign from me tomorrow.) USAgainstAlzheimer’s (www.USAgainstAlzheimers.org ), a new campaign to mobilize Americans to stop Alzheimer’s by 2020, released the...

Receiving Support Through Telling the Story

Yesterday, G-J joined me on Your Caregiving Journey. It’s been a whirlwind two weeks for G-J, who, with her husband, Steve, recently spoke at the 2010 Regional Alzheimer’s Disease Research Conference in Irvine, Calif. As a result of this experience, G-J put on her advocate hat, writing and calling movers and shakers in her community in order to raise awareness and make a difference. You can listen to our...

Knowing, So You Know What To Do

Caring.com released interesting stats today from research it recently completed with 1,100 family caregivers of persons with Alzheimer’s disease. The most interesting to me: About half of the surveyed family caregivers don’t know or aren’t sure which stage of Alzheimer’s disease their caree is in. Oh, my! Knowing is a good part of the battle. Knowing makes it easier to find acceptance, solutions...

All at Once

Just wanted to write an update this morning. Yesterday afternoon my mother called me in to her living room area and the seat of the chair she was sitting in was covered with blood. We were both scared and I felt sick all at the same time.  I helped her to the bathroom to get cleaned up, and to hopefully see what was happening, and then called the doctor.  He told us to watch for dizziness and any additional...

Our Diaper Party

On Saturday, we attended a baby diaper party for my niece, Katie, thrown by her sister, Audra.These two, both pregnant, have been a tremendous help to me, coming to help with cleaning. I was struggling with trying to manage everything when a counselor advised me to ask for help. “After all, the worst thing that can happen is that they can say no.” So I called the girls and asked for just a little help...

If End-Of-Life Were a Diagnosis…

…then living life for the caree and the family caregiver during the life of caregiving would be so much easier. Here’s why: If end-of-life were a diagnosis, we would know when a caree has a year to live. Then, six months. Then, a few weeks. Then, a few days. When we know these magic numbers, we know: 1. When to take a break for a vacation; 2. When to take leave from a job; 3. When to call family members...

Red

Image by ♥ellie♥ via Flickr Some days, you’re going to see red. The help is late. So, you see red. A supportive family member seems unusually uncooperative. So, you see red. A service provider bails on an agreement. So, you see red. Rather than see red, wear it. When a service provider seems to take advantage of you, put on your red and say: I’m upset right now. We had an agreement and this...

Being in the Moment

This week in our caregiving class, we watched a film, “Complaints of a Dutiful Daughter,” by Deborah Hoffmann. In this film, Ms. Hoffmann documents her struggle with accepting her mother’s Alzheimer’s disease. In the beginning, she tried to correct her mother’s faulty memory, tried to make things right and normal. Eventually, she came to the conclusion that being right was not as important as being there...