We Think We Hide It, But Our Energy Shows

Nov 3 2010 in Denise's Blog by Denise

A few weeks ago, I was speaking with a fellow professional coach. Jim Kelly graduated from the same coaching program as I. We talked “shop,” so to speak, and then shared about our work.

When I told Jim about working with family caregivers, he offered an interesting perspective: We all have an energy, he said, which impacts how others see us. When a (caree) sees frustration and guilt and hesitancy, then the (caree) will feel that, too.

Think about the people you enjoy, he continued. Would you rather be with someone who sees the glass half-empty or half-full?

I think we all believe we can hide our emotions. Our energy dimes us out, though. When we feel sad, our energy shows sad. When we feel anger, our energy shows anger. And, unfortunately, that energy affects others, particularly carees. When sad causes sad, the result can be overwhelming for both of you.

You can feel like you’re dragging around two broken hearts. And, doing that won’t just hurt your back, it will crush your spirit.

That’s not to say you shouldn’t feel what you feel. It’s normal to feel that anger, guilt, resentment and sadness. Feel those emotions with your support group and your support system. Seek professional help when the emotions seem to take over. Work with a therapist or life coach to create coping strategies and techniques. Your emotional well-being is so important—it’s one of your top priorities.

Because when you feel better, so will everyone else, including your caree. When your caree feels better, your caregiving role gets a little bit easier.

With your caree, feel that you both will be okay. That, as team, you can make it, that you both can manage the ending and the end. Feel it with confidence. Because it’s true. Because you have us, right behind you, cheering you on.

Resources

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