Asking for Help

Mom felt better this morning after sleeping the night. Part of the battle is watching Mom come home after dialysis and seeing a totally different person. She is already a different person and the hardship is watching her be somewhat lethargic which is not easy to do. I have to keep a brave face when I see her because she is already scared as it is and I don’t want her to see the scared look on my face. On...

My One Word

As an alternative to traditional resolutions, a radio station has been promoting the idea of selecting one word (www.myoneword.org). Rather than focusing on the past and trying to fix a perceived shortfall or deficiency with a long list of well intentioned resolutions, project forward and focus on one concept, one word which will describe your character in the upcoming year. I first heard of this last year and...

My Timely Holiday Reminders

It would be so easy to focus on the negatives from this holiday season. Sharon described my holiday perfectly on her blog post Moments: “There were joyful moments, overwhelming moments, wonderful moments, discouraging moments, blessed moments, chaotic moments, and relieved moments.” Separate and unrelated from each other my “holiday” has included two Dr’s visits and plenty of drama involving both parents...

Take a Deep Breath

Last night I was writing all the appointments in the 2011 calendar. It included the dental and doctor appointments already scheduled, days off school, scout meetings, PTA, band booster and scout parent meetings, birthdays, anniversaries, and a class I teach. I didn’t realize until this morning that I’d left off our weekly support group meetings. Talk about a Freudian slip! Writing it on the calendar...

What’s Your 2011 Goal?

Image via Wikipedia Our new year arrives tomorrow! So, while we still have two feet in this year, let’s plan for how we’ll make next year a good one. What’s one goal you’ll commit to achieving in 2011? It could be a goal related to your caregiving role, related to your career, related to your personal growth or related to a long-held dream. I have several goals for 2011,...

Courage

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’ ” May Anne Radmacher Sometimes I find it so hard to deal with the emotions that come along with caregiving. I find that most people don’t understand…only those who are caregivers or have been seem to instinctively know that I ride a roller coaster of...

How Do You Get Past the Guilt?

The other night I had a talk with Mom about the assisted living/rehab situation. I cried the whole time I spoke to her wishing my mom would go back to the way she was so it would be so much easier to deal with and not have to make this decision. My brother was supposed to come over for a family meeting which of course he initiated but he took the easy way out and his words exactly were, “Am I going to be...

What Gives You Comfort?

This morning on Your Caregiving Journey, I read excerpts from my new book, “Take Comfort, Too, More Reflections of Hope for Caregivers.” You can listen to the show via the player below. Take Comfort, Too offers perspectives which can you help find comfort, even during the really tough days of caregiving. So, I’d love to know: What gives you comfort? Tell us about the sources of your comfort in our...

Upside Down

Sometimes I feel like Marah looks in this picture! Experiencing times when things just don’t feel right at all. Someone I love looks, talks, and eats differently; dresses, thinks, and acts differently. It’s not right. It’s upside down. It  turns  emotions upside down as well,  ours as well as my mother’s. How do we turn it back around? I was very proud of Marah on Christmas. She helped...

Does a Caregiving Experience in Childhood Impact How We Care Today?

When Diane was two-years-old, her grandmother moved into her family home and into the bedroom next to Diane. When Diane woke in the morning, her first activity was a visit with her grandmother. The two played Checkers together daily (Diane’s grandmother was very patient). Forty years later, Diane cares for her mother. She remembers little of the time spent with her grandmother. But, her mother often talked...

This Week’s Poll: Will You Make Resolutions?

This week’s poll, sponsored by Caregiving.com and eCareDiary.com, asks: Will you make New Year’s Resolutions? Vote below. And, if you make resolutions, feel free to share them in our comments section, below. Reminder: Attend our next free webinar, “Seven Ways to Make 2011 Your Most Special Year”. The webinar takes place on Wednesday, January 5, at 11 a.m. CT (Noon ET, 9 a.m. PT). To attend this...

Moments

There were joyful moments, overwhelming moments, wonderful moments, discouraging moments, blessed moments, chaotic moments, and relieved moments. My son from London, his wife, and their two-year-old little girl were here from December 13 to December 27. Another son, his wife, and their two daughters from Iowa were also here from the middle of the night Wed to Sunday the 26th. Our local son, his wife, and their...

Admitting Defeat

The past few days have been very hard. Christmas Eve I had the talk with Mom that if she didn’t want her aide to come Christmas Day that she would have to be a little more independent which she was in agreement with. Ever since Christmas Day, I have been running around like crazy. Today it all hit me very hard. We had company on Christmas Day and I hardly sat down at all. Every time I sat down I had to get up...

Say Good-Bye to What No Longer Works on Good Riddance Day

This afternoon, New Yorkers will gather in Times Square for Good Riddance Day. (At least I hope they will gather. I checked to see if the snow will delay Good Riddance Day. It seems to be a go.) Participants receive markers and a white sheet of paper in order to jot down their answer to the question, “I want to say good riddance to….” They then toss the paper containing their answer into a giant...

Our Talk Show on How to Train to Endure Caregiving Made The Wall Street Journal!

Woohoo!! In October, our Council of Caregivers convened to share thoughts on how to train to endure caregiving. Our show inspired an article that appeared today in The Wall Street Journal. You can read the article here. Please feel free to share your thoughts in the story’s comments section. Our next Council of Caregivers will meet in January to address the question: How do I manage my overwhelming caregiving...

Ball

Image by Getty Images via @daylife In the fairy tales and Disney movies, our heroine attends fancy balls. On New Year’s Eve, a ball drops in Times Square to start the New Year. For you, balls are what you juggle. Sometimes, you juggle three balls. Sometimes, it’s just one heavy, heavy ball. Sometimes, it feels like 10 balls look to you for a catch. With so many demanding balls in your life, can...

Update

Thank you all for listening on Christmas Eve morning and for helping with suggestions. We got through it, learned to use the Hoyer lift. By Christmas Eve night, Mom was able to bear weight and pivot a little…so we didn’t have to use the lift. Christmas day, we had 29 people here, and I didn’t move Mom much with the house so crowded and little children everywhere (with bouncy balls, and other...

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas! Hope you find Merry in your stockings and throughout your day. Let us know how you are doing; please feel free to share updates in our comments section, below. And, know whatever happens, we’re here to...

Getting Past the Holidays

Today I went to see a friend who lost her sister a few months ago. I thought to myself, how can I feel the way I do when so many others are suffering from a loss. Sometimes I feel selfish that I have no right to feel the way I do with my mom. She is still here even though she is not functioning at 100%. Tonight we are having company and I hear everyone talking about buying presents. As much as I love gifts, I...

Potholes

We’ve had a whole lot of rain the last several days here in Southern California. Where we live we are in no danger of mudslides but our ground will be soggy for days as the ground is just too wet to absorb the water. The rain also causes potholes in our roads. They are a nuisance. You either avoid them, swinging around them but hopefully not into the next lane and in the path of a car, or your don’t seem...

Any Tips for Caring for a Caree Who Can’t Walk or Bear Weight?

Well, after our wonderful evening last night, today is a completely different matter. Mom is not able to walk at all today, or even support her weight. She has had these days in the past, although it’s been at least 6 months. Today, though, is the worst it’s ever been. I have a new Hoyer lift and a power wheel chair, and it looks like today will be the day we have to use it. Today was shower day for...

Homemade Bread and Bedtime

Made homemade oatmeal molasses bread this evening. Just tucked Mom into bed, then pulled the bread out of the oven. I’m always telling her, “You are 86 years old, you can do as you please.” She called me in, and said “If I’m 86 and can do as I please, I want a piece of bread hot out of the oven.” You can’t argue with that. She said that it tasted like Christmas, and went to