A Holiday Check-In

How is everyone doing? I thought it would be helpful to have a holiday check-in. Our check-in gives you a chance to share, vent, complain. You also can tell us about any good news you may have—because we love to hear that, too. So, when you can, update us about how you’re doing in our comments section below. “Every time we love, every time we give, it’s Christmas.” ~ Dale...

A Little Bit of Hope

The other day when I came home from work, mom mentioned that she was considering having her procedure reversed.  This is something I have been waiting for since she had the procedure done earlier this year. If mom has this done it means that I will be able to get her into an assisted living which is something I intend to do. Since last week I have been trying to figure out how to lessen my stress. It is so hard...

Within the Learning…

Today was a day where I felt there was not one more drop of understanding, giving, forgiving, patience, problem solving and planning to squeeze out and I was being squeezed! My mother had a rough night last night. She was very restless and scared, thinking at times that we all had left her. So, this uneasiness moved into our day. The kids and I continued to talk with teachers and submit projects before a much...

Count

Image by Alice Harold via Flickr This is the season of counting: We count how many gifts we give so equal distribution is assured. We count how much money we have to spend on gifts. We count the days until the Big Day. Sometimes, during the hustle and bustle of the holidays, we can feel under-counted. We may wonder: Do I count? It can be hard to see that you count when others get caught up in their counting,...

This Week’s Poll: What Is Your Holiday Tradition?

This week’s poll, sponsored by Caregiving.com and eCareDiary.com, asks about your holiday traditions. Please vote in our poll below. And, feel free to share more about your traditions in our comments section. What Is Your Holiday Tradition?survey...

How Will You Share Your Story?

Today, on Your Caregiving Journey, Cindy Laverty joined me for our monthly book club discussion. Cindy is the author of “Caregiving—Eldercare Made Clear and Simple.” You can listen to our discussion via the player at the bottom of the post. During our discussion, we touched on a variety of topics, including how, without a strong voice, we allow others to live our lives. We also spoke about the...

A Tale of Three Parties

This past weekend we attended three parties. Two were parties we have attended in the past and one was new. I wasn’t sure how any of the three parties would actually go, but we were willing to give them all a try. Friday night we went to a party with a total of nine people. It was the four couples who participated in the panel discussion and our son. I had prepped our son in advance, telling him he might hear...

A Caree’s Gift

Since my mother had her stroke in 2002, many of my family members disagreed with the idea of her coming to live with us. It has just recently occurred to me that the reason for the disagreement, was because their definition of caregiving is so different than mine. Their definition is sacrifice, stress, entrapment, losing myself and jeopardizing time with my husband and children. Hmmm, that’s okay....

When Caregiving Goes Front Page

Thanks to G-J for sharing a front-page article from today’s The Orange County Register (Can Dementia Turn Mercy Into Killing?). The story profiles family caregivers of persons with dementia and Alzheimer’s because of two recent events in the Orange County community: “The Nov. 21 fatal shooting of an 86-year-old Seal Beach woman, Cara Laird, with late-stage dementia, allegedly at the hands of her ...

Girl talk

Friday night I decided to have a heart to heart talk with Mom. Since our argument this week about mentioning a nursing home, I thought it was time to take a different approach. I explained to Mom that I didn’t think her coming home was the best idea since all she does is sleep and go to the doctors. From time to time she goes to the beauty parlor and that’s about it. If she was in an assisted living...

Transitions

When Wes had his stroke, I felt like I had been hit upside of the head with a 2 x 4. How could I cope with this? I found myself grieving for the loss of the person he was, having to adjust to a different relationship–one in which I was the adult taking care of a large, lost child. Somehow, we developed a routine and, even though there were more doctors, more meds to take care of, more juggling of time,...

How Will You Have Happiness During the Holidays?

“Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect.” ~ Oren Arnold Today on Table Talk, I shared a short (and I hope, special) holiday message with you. You can listen to the show via the player, below. On this Saturday, the week day we focus on our...

Holiday Hope and Miracles: A Time of Remembrance


Image via Wikipedia By Elissa Al-Chokhachy Winter holidays are filled with joy and celebration. During this time, millions of people reverently pay homage to the miracles in their faith traditions and heritage. Others celebrate meaningful relationships with loved ones, family and friends. From festive gatherings, thoughtful exchange of cards, notes and presents to charitable gift giving, these activities...

When It Rains, It Pours

For the past few days I have been so nervous with my upcoming tests that I haven’t slept well at all. The pressure at home is starting to get overwhelming and my mom seems to need more from me. I find myself getting very short with her which I know I shouldn’t but it’s so hard to do when you are worried about yourself and have to take care of someone else. Sometimes when I come home from work I am...

Facing the Holiday Fantasy

When we were kids Santa would bring us what we want. What’s it like to be adults where the world might not be that magical, even though we want it to be at Christmas? Anna Stookey joined me on Tuesday on Your Caregiving Journey to help us face the fantasy of the holidays. You can listen to our show via the player at the bottom of the post. (We had a caller who had issues more serious than we can tackle...

Sharing the Holidays with Unhappy Family Members

Yesterday morning on Your Caregiving Journey, Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo, our happiness expert and author of A Happy You: Your Ultimate Prescription for Happiness, joined me to give tips on how to manage unhappy family members during the holidays. It’s the family members who criticize, upset or, in some way, ruin the holidays. During our discussion, I spoke about the unhappy family members in my holiday season....

December 16

Yesterday we gave away some of mum’s things to a philanthropic association called São Cotolengo. We gave away her wheelchair, her bath chair, and the geriatric diapers. They were very glad to receive these things. People ask me if we have adjusted to mum’s not being here. I think “Good grief, mum died just a week ago. No, I have not adjusted”. I guess I am finding out how insensitive some...

This Week’s Poll: Will You Travel Over the Holidays?

This week’s poll, sponsored by Caregiving.com and eCareDiary.com, asks: Will you travel this holiday season with your caree? Do You and Your Caree Travel for the Holidays?survey...

Receive Graciously, Give Generously

About a week ago I attended a women’s holiday dinner at my friend’s church. Her husband was diagnosed with colon cancer this year and they have gone through chemo, radiation, and surgery so far. My friend invited me and two other women to attend the dinner to thank us for the support we have shown to her family throughout her husband’s illness. I RSVP’d that I’d attend right away, but nearly canceled...

Lost

Do the holidays remind you of what you’ve lost? And, when you have those reminders, do you feel lost? It’s easy to lose your way in caregiving, especially during the holidays. The worry, the stress, the sadness will surround you, so much so you can’t see past them. How do you find your way? Take a step and reach out to your support. Take another step and ask for directions (help). Take another...

More Waiting and More Stress

This morning I was supposed to go for the monitor as part of my stress test. I woke up very early and was at my appointment a 1/2 hour early. By the time I was called, the nurse told me the monitor had not been brought back yet from the patient before and they had no idea when it would be back. I was so upset. This waiting and not knowing has been stressful enough without having to go through the added stress. I am...

My Son’s Family’s Visit

My son, Brian; his wife; and my 2-year-old granddaughter flew in from London, England to O’Hare airport. They have landed according to the internet as I write. My local son should be there right now to pick them up. They were due to land around 1:48 P.M. The plan is that they will stay two weeks at our house. I am sure they will go away at times, and at times I would think they would go over to my local...