This week there is a Holiday Progressive Blog Party taking place at caregiving.com. Also the theme of the Happiness Project on caregiving.com for this month is rejoice. At first glance it would seem ridiculous to associate party and rejoicing with caregiving. The last four and one half years have been very difficult years for my husband and I, and yet when I look back there is so much for which to be thankful. There is so much for which I can rejoice.
Let me backtrack a bit, and first I will tell you the sad facts about my husband, Wayne’s disease. In April of 2006 Wayne was diagnosed with his neurological disease. It is called Multiple Systems Atrophy type c. It is affecting his cerebellum. Life expectancy from diagnosis usually is 6 to 10 years. Between the summer of 2006 when Wayne was diagnosed with his disease until now December of 2010 Wayne has gone from still working, to walking with a cane, to a walker, and now to a wheelchair. Since he can no longer help me with transfers, I recently needed to start to using a sit to stand lift with every transfer he makes. Wayne’s disease affects everything. It affects his mobility, his balance, his speech, his eating habits, and even his personality.
The emotional feelings that surface with caregiving can be intense at times. I miss the way things used to be. Every change downward is emotionally draining and scary. Also the physical demands of caregiving are heavy. Finally, more of the decisions fall on me now.
So what is there to rejoice about in this situation? For one thing I know that I am becoming a much stronger person through all this. I am having to do things which I never did before. This is good, as it has strengthened by character and confidence.
More importantly it has strengthened my faith and my love for my God. Over and over I have seen things fall into place when I felt I could no longer hold up. Most recently, my husband could no longer help me with transfers as he lost his ability to stand up on his own. I thought I would have to put him in a nursing home. Right when I was at my lowest point of despair my prayers were answered by the ability of my son to step up and help. Also I was able to procure a sit to stand lift. Even though the lift is a clumsy heavy piece of equipment to use, it is an answer to prayer. I have seen over and over again this kind of answer to prayer. So I am sad about my husband’s illness. It is the heartbreak of my life. But I rejoice in the provisions from above.
I also rejoice in my three sons and their wives. I rejoice in my seven wonderful grandchildren. I rejoice in their beautiful and sweet spirits and in their love for their Grandpa and I. I rejoice that we could celebrate one of my granddaughter’s birthdays yesterday. Even my husband enjoyed the festivities, although he fell asleep later in the day. I rejoice that I am an over three-year breast cancer survivor. I also rejoice in the sun which is shining today after many cloudy days. I rejoice in the daily blessings. Lord, help me to remember these blessings when I become sad or overwhelmed with the challenges of caregiving.
Hi Sharon–You have a peace about you that’s quite magnificent. I think you are someone who truly rejoices–every day, not just during the holiday days. I’m so glad you enjoyed a celebration with family yesterday. And, I hope today provides more reasons to celebrate.
Hi Sharon,
Thank you again for your inspiring words. There is so much in caregiving that is “heartbreaking”. As you said, there can be rejoicing and festivities as well.
I think a lot about character building, and how God never promised us it would be easy. He doesn’t leave us though, does He? So many times, if we honestly look back, He actually brings us through with who or what we need, at just the right time.
I am sorry for your husband’s declines along the way. I am glad that your family is close by and so willing to help; receiving help is something that is necessary for us as caregivers and for our carees.
Hi Sharon, Thanks for stopping by at SandwichINK. I have been so blessed visiting you back and reading your words of encouragement. It really is comforting to realize we aren’t alone in this caregiving journey. By the grace of God, our sweet families, and good friends, we are able to keep putting one foot in front of the other. And that includes caregiving friends on the internet. This blog party is a fun example of that.
Speaking of internet friends, I wrote you back at SandwichINK with some site suggestions you might enjoy, but wanted to be sure you got a chance to visit Whidbey Woman. She and her husband are Christians and she writes at RonsRoad2Recovery.blogspot.com about their valiant battles against his Advanced Colon Cancer, as well as at WildAboutWhidbey.blogspot.com about their life in generation, including more about caregiving for her husband. I thought you might enjoy reading some of her posts as well.
Have fun with the Caregiving Holiday Progressive Blog Party and have a blessed week.