Sometimes I feel like Marah looks in this picture! Experiencing times when things just don’t feel right at all.

Someone I love looks, talks, and eats differently; dresses, thinks, and acts differently. It’s not right. It’s upside down. It  turns  emotions upside down as well,  ours as well as my mother’s. How do we turn it back around?

I was very proud of Marah on Christmas. She helped my mother several times: “They’re presents, Nah-nah, you open them.” We can learn so much from children. They take things as they come, one change, and one bit of newness at a time…and they never look too far ahead. (:  That could begin to “right” the changes.

I love music. Yesterday, I heard a song I hadn’t heard in a long time. It is a song by Point of Grace: “Turn Up the Music”  (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qQm8283qsg). The lyrics are all about the importance of how we live, to not run from our truths, but to face them and all will be okay. The song goes on to say “have what you want, but want what you have”, and to “take a few chances.”

The words were very meaningful because dementia brings such change…to everyone in our house. And, each day, we take chances in trying new ways to better help each other and to better help my mother. My mother has been feeling lonely more than she has in the past. She is not as content to sit in her living room, but wanders to find where we are or where I am more often. She has been sharing more dinners with us, where as before the noise level at our table outweighed the visit. Eating together has been a bit of a challenge, specifically for Rees.

My mother needs help with eating and is not always the way she once was at the table. Tonight, I tried something a little different. We had music playing in the background. Rees sat in a position where he could see Greg and Abrah better than the other end of the table and I placed salad dressing bottles just where they should be, to shield any other struggles Rees was experiencing with the adjustment. It was a wonderful dinner together! I was so grateful and the planning was a success. The next few dinners (for a while anyway) should be a little easier all around. (:

Our communication is growing. Today the kids asked for a family meeting to “talk about Nah-nah’s sickness.” I was so touched to hear that they were willing and wanted to work all of this out.

Marah asked me a couple of nights ago: “Is being married difficult?,” she said, “You know with all the tasks, like having us?” Things that are important are sometimes difficult. I think I got my answer, too.

Change with the kids is all about newness and growth in a positive way. They become more independent and show what they’ve learned.

In caregiving, we are the ones growing – and becoming more confident in what we do.  Our carees depend on our strength and our growth, too.

So…how do I “right” all these changes and the newness that seems so uncomfortable? One change at a time…not jumping too far ahead…and leaning on the support I receive here and in our home.

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