Day Off

Photo by Nelson Vintage coat and gloves-estate sales, multicolored scarf-Bryant Park holiday shop, hat-NYC street vendor. Today was the first day this week without medical appointments.  Nelson and The Style Crone rushed out the door into the beautiful day before us to soak up the sun and breathe.  It’s a much different day when we don’t have to walk into a medical environment and be surrounded by the drama...

The Treadmill That Just Keeps Getting Shifted Into Higher Gears ;)

Hey Everybody, Happy New Year. I hope everybody found as much peace through the Holidays as was possible individually for you and yours. Sorry I’ve been unable to catch up sooner. This past autumn was a lot of juggling between helping mom, keeping up with grad school, managing work, and my own health problems–mine and my car’s! Then with everything going on at once, early in December I woke...

The Dominoes of Caregiving: Those Changes

Your caree has a change in condition, which causes a change in your caregiving role, which then seems to change your life. How do you manage the domino effect of caregiving? This was the topic of this morning’s Table Talk episode on Your Caregiving Journey. Holly, who cares for her husband, Dave, joined us to talk about how she adjusts to their changes because of his diagnosis of Frontotemporal dementia. You...

Update on Mom’s Nursing Home Experience

Needless to say, it has been a very long week. Today is the first day since Mom was admitted to the hospital last Thursday, and then moved to the nursing home on Monday, that I haven’t seen her. I hired her weekday caregiver to stay with Mom today, and I knew my son was going in to see her this evening. I spent the day doing laundry, picking up my house, and took a 3 1/2 hour nap. I am not even sure where to...

Aftermath and Adjustments

After my brother passed away on December 2nd, both Mom and I got sick. In addition, Mom had a couple of small strokes. I can tell that her short-term memory is worse. Her kidneys have gotten worse, but the renal specialist scheduled her for tests preparatory for dialysis without telling her what it was. I should have asked exactly what her lab results were before he scheduled this, but I just didn’t think of...

What to Wear to a Medical Procedure

(Editor’s Note: Today we welcome a new blogger, Judith, aka Style Crone. Judith cares for her husband, Nelson, diagnosed with cancer six years ago. Judith spent most of her career as a psychiatric nurse in an emergency setting. As she and Nelson negotiate this difficult journey, Judith finds a powerful form of art and expression in her daily conceptualizing and personal presentation of her own form of body...

Celebrating Life with Fifty Lunches

This morning on Your Caregiving Journey, Janet Hulet shared her celebration of her 50th year: She’s meeting with the 50 people who have impacted her life for 50 lunches. (You can listen to our show via the player at the bottom of the post.) During our discussion, Janet shared about the first two lunches (with her mom and then with her dad, at the cemetery) and the criteria for the 50 lunches: It’s not...

Hearing Aid

How do you convince someone to get a hearing aid when they are in denial? My mother’s hearing has been getting dramatically worse and it is starting to frustrate me. I have to repeat myself so many times, even when I stand in front of her and she is looking at me talking that I want to scream! When I talk louder she then accuses me of screaming which ends up in a no-win situation. When Mom watches TV  you...

My Week – So Far

These are some of the highlights of my week. Sunday – We were having guests for lunch and I told our son I’d make croissants. Forgot to make the croissants at lunch so I said I’d make them at dinner. Sewed my finger with the sewing machine. Forgot the croissants at dinner, too. Monday – Dropped my cell phone one too many times so I had to e-mail to the computer any pictures I wanted to save. Ran to...

Call for Participants: Writing and Your Stress

Does writing promote health? A University of Iowa web-based research study will look to answer that question. The study, which is for family caregivers of persons with Alzheimer’s Disease or other type of dementia, will examine the effects writing may have on health and how well a web-based writing intervention helps to manage caregiving stress. Study participants will write about their thoughts and feelings...

What’s Your Family Dinner?

I think we’ve all heard about the benefits of family dinners for our children. Dr. Mark Hyman reminded us of the positive impact when children and parents eat together regularly in an article that appeared yesterday on Huffington Post (“Eating at Home Can Save Your Life“). He writes: “Research shows that children who have regular meals with their parents do better in every way, from better...

Special

Does every day seem like a challenge? Full of overwhelming obstacles? Moments of dread? What if every day wasn’t about wishing how quickly it would end but about how long it could last? What if every day was a special day, like a holiday or a birthday? What if we just declared to ourselves that every day, really, is a special day? Wouldn’t that put a different spin on our days? When you declare each day...

Family Caregivers Want Help from Web-Based and Mobile Technologies

A new survey reveals that the technology advances that have transformed how Americans work, play and interact have potential to alleviate the growing financial and emotional burdens on family caregivers. The e-Connected Family Caregiver: Bringing Caregiving into the 21st Century study, released January 8, 2011 by the National Alliance for Caregiving and UnitedHealthcare, a UnitedHealth Group (NYSE: UNH) company,...

Tears

Friday was visitation night for my husband at the funeral home, and Saturday was the funeral at church. Friday night went fairly well. I felt an extra sense of God’s grace and peace. Having to say a final farewell on Saturday was very difficult. The service however was very meaningful. Besides comforting words from Scripture my kids had written some wonderful words about my husband’s influence on their...

Mom is Being Discharged Tomorrow, but to a Nursing Home

Life is a challenge. We all know that, especially on this website. The great news is that my mom is medically stable, and her cognitive ability is back to normal. However, the same can’t be said for her mobility. The hospital did not give her any of her arthritis anti-inflammatory medication for three days. Between that and her being in bed since Thursday, her little body is like a rock statue. She...

Breakthroughs

Yesterday I figured out what I don’t like about support groups. You experience not only your own pain, but the other participant’s pain as well. And it seems to be viewed that it’s a breakthrough, or a good thing, when the person is having a very hard time. For example, yesterday one woman was talking and saying that her husband had gone out for a walk when she wasn’t home. Although he’d left her a note,...

My Father’s Shoes

The final calamity I experienced this holiday season was my back giving out. I say final because I’m cutting off the holiday calamity list. Any calamities from here on out are officially allocated to Spring or Mardi Gras or something. My back situation is related to the flu which swept through my parents. We spent every few days of the holiday in a Dr’s office or the ER. Because of the flu they were even more...

Your Happiness, Today

On Saturdays on our Caregiving.com, we pause to make room for moments of happiness. On this Saturday, I’m also pausing to think of Sharon; her husband’s funeral is today. So, on this Saturday, let’s pause twice: To acknowledge a happy moment and to think of Sharon. And, as always, let us know how you take happy moments today.

“It’s Okay”

As we were having lunch today, Marah said to me, “Mom, I’m getting use to Nah-nah like this, it’s okay.” Marah often makes statements that console more than she knows. My mother continues in what the doctor feels is a sharp turn within dementia. She has been very uneasy about many things lately. The uneasiness comes when she is sitting alone, as the sun goes down, if she has to use the...

Making Progress

This week has been incredibly busy for me. After my talk with Mom last week about making changes, things have been a lot better. Her attitude has been perkier and she looks more like herself. I am hoping  she continues to focus on the positive and not on the negative. Work has been increasingly busy and now my crazy hours begin starting next week which puts me into a 6 day work week and late nights. I mentioned...

Messages from the Past

I’ve been going through bookshelves and drawers and I found a notebook that my father wrote down odds and ends in. Amongst the things he wrote I found some messages that he wrote to my mum on anniversaries and birthdays. This one was written on mum’s 70th birthday: The years have gone The leaves driven by The winds of Time. Where indeed is yesteryear When we were so young? Gone, gone. Faded we may be, the...

Mom is Responding This Morning

Hi all, Mom is awake this morning, and responding. That is a huge step from yesterday. She is very confused, but the doctor told us yesterday that it may take weeks for her full cognition to return. She does seem to know that she is in the hospital, and is talking enough to say that she’s not hurting, but feels crummy. I did sleep fairly well, which I didn’t think I’d be able to do.