Mom in the Hospital

My mom is in the hospital with a severe bacterial infection. I took her to ER this morning. They know that it is in urinary tract, and she has pneumonia, but not where else it is or what it is.  I’ve been awake the past three nights caring for her, and am exhausted. My sister, who is always there, came today…and so did both brothers. My brothers are staying with her at the hospital tonight, all day...

What You Believe, They Will, Too

“Tell me and I’ll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I’ll understand.” ~ Chinese Proverb This morning, Ellen Rogin, our wealthness expert, joined me to discuss talking about money with your kids. You can listen to our show via the player, below. Consider this, which Ellen referenced during the show: By the time we are seven years of age, 90% of all the learning and knowledge we will...

When Your Caree Is Just Mean, What Do You Do?

Over the past two days, two visitors have asked for our help. Here’s what they said: 1. “What if your recipient does not have Alzheimers?? What if Grama is just spoiled and mean and spiteful to you and other family members. How do we handle this? She is 92. Sharp as a tack..Has all her marbles. She has been spoiled all her life. Was spoiled by our grandfather. Never worked a day in her life. Had a...

Webinar Follow-Up: What Did Learn about Your Special Year?

Yesterday, we held our free webinar, “Seven Ways to Make 2011 Your Most Special Year.” If you missed the webinar, you can listen to the recording here. During the webinar, I shared these seven ways to make 2011 your most special year: 1. Create a Dream. 2. Create Supportive Accountability. 3. Commit to Learning. 4. Face a Fear/Take a Risk. 5. Keep the Faith. 6. Embrace Simple. 7. Discard Drama. What did...

Building Your Resilience

I had a co-worker who suffered a miscarriage when she was 11-weeks pregnant. A second miscarriage happened very early in her next pregnancy. About 18 months after giving birth to a healthy girl, she suffered a third miscarriage at just about 12 weeks. All this happened within a four-year time frame. When she told me about her third miscarriage, I think I was more upset than she. I’m okay, she told me....

Update

I thought I would try to write a few lines today updating my brief blog of a couple days ago. On Saturday, Jan 1 my husband, Wayne, turned 65. We spent a quiet day at home. I did fix him his favorite meal. Also he received phone calls from his sons who live far away and his grandkids sang “Happy Birthday” to him on the phone. Later our local son’s family came briefly and those grandkids sang “Happy...

Tell Us: Who (or What) Steals Your Joy?

In August, Join was our action word for our Caregiving Happiness Project. I moved to my neighborhood in March of last year (2010) and wanted a way to connect with others, a way to feel a part of where I lived. So, the idea of joining something was very attractive to me. I decided to look at churches. After some church-shopping, I settled on a church with a simple decor and a bit of an open mind. Soon after joining,...

Acts of Service

“You do a lot for me,” Bryce says often. Sometimes it’s in gratitude, his way of making sure I pause to acknowledge that he acknowledges me. Other times he mutters it more to himself, with a subtle tone of disappointment about his disability, and follows it with “I wish I could do more for you.” I’m almost always quick to remind him that I don’t do “a lot;” that I just do a lot of little things...

Difficult Day Today

Today was not an easy day. In an attempt to help my husband with his mom, we went to her house to try to start an eldercare notebook. I’d had a conversation with her on Saturday, and she was very open to the idea and said that it would be a big help to her to have all of her information in one place. She has significant memory issues, and since her move to our state in June, she’s felt like she...

Things Mama Never Told Me

I have a very dear friend with whom I have stayed in contact for many years. Through the years we would commiserate with each other whenever we faced a new difficulty. We would always say to each other, “Mama never told me about this!” It was our way of saying that life is not fair and we never expected whatever current problem we were facing. It helped us to laugh at ourselves and get on with dealing...

Blue

During the holidays, we can have blue days. The holidays end, which may cause us blue days for another reason. We hear sad news from friends (like Sharon) and then we really feel blue. It’s okay to feel blue. It’s okay to tell family members and friends, “I’m feeling blue today.” When feeling blue, wrap yourself in your familiar. Watch a movie in which you’ve memorized the...

My Husband

This is just to let you know that my dear husband, Wayne, passed away last night in his sleep. My son and I found him this morning. It was quite a shock. I will write more later.

Talking about Change

Mom has been very upset lately about all the talk about assisted living or a nursing home which was to be expected.  Last night we had several conversations with her about different things and she had her wits about her which was great. Not once did she seem confused or out of it. I decided to have another talk with Mom and this time it was about making changes in her life. I told her that if she was willing to...

Today Was a Good Day

Today I felt more like myself. It’s been awhile since I felt like that. I was able to do what I wanted or needed to do and not feel stressed out. I even had the chance to take a nap. At certain points it felt weird having time to myself  since I am so used to being “on call”. Mom even seemed to be more herself for awhile, too. I was glad that I asked for help and had Mom’s aide come...

Happy New Year

My husband and I have been muddling along, taking care of both of our mothers while trying to deal with his permanent nerve damage in his back while also searching for work for me (since it is looking like he will not be able to return to his wonderful job). I’ve tried to be supportive and give resources to both my husband and his brother as they learn to care for their mom. It’s been a challenge for me...

“The Bonk”

Last night we celebrated New Years’ Eve by all of us going to a restaurant that we received a gift card for on Christmas. (:  The Olive Garden is about 40 minutes away. We took two cars–more of the adjusting process with my mother’s new challenges. On the way, my mother did very well. She rarely can form complete sentences anymore without help, but so enjoys being out and listening to...

New Look, Happy Saturday

Happy New Year! We ring in the New Year with a new look for Caregiving.com. I still have a few tweaks and changes to make, but for the most part, the new look is complete. I think our new look will better feature our bloggers’ content and make finding content easier for visitors. I welcome your comments and suggestions. And, as we welcome this New Year, feel free to share in our Saturday tradition: How will...

Happiness Project: January

We’re starting our seventh month of our Caregiving Happiness Project. We welcome the New Year with a new action: Quiet. This month, however you do it, it’s about quieting. You can spend time in quiet reflection. You can quiet your doubts. You can quiet your doubters. For me, I’m going to: Take quiet time to focus on my dreams and goals; Take quiet time to recover from a hectic December. I look forward...

New Year/New Beginnings

Today is a brand new year filled with new beginnings. I have never been happier that 2010 is over.  2010 was not a great year as I spent most of it with my mom in the hospital or a rehab. I am hoping that 2011 is a better year. Last night Mom stayed up with us watching the ball drop. At midnight I kissed her and told her I loved her and that 2011 was going to be a better year for all of us. I cried after telling...

8 ½ Hours

That’s how long Mom and I spent in the ER yesterday. I got home a little after 11:30 pm. The diagnosis: the flu and, yes, she did have a flu shot this year. The Dr said he had seen several cases of flu this year despite the flu shot. This is what I suspected all along but because she is living in a communal type facility and germs spread quickly, because Dad already had it so they are sharing germs, because it is...