When Have You Suffered in Caregiving?

This morning on Your Caregiving Journey, Anna Stookey joined me to discuss the relationship of pain to suffering. Pain is a part of life; does suffering have to be a part of the pain equation? You can listen to our show via the player below. Caregiving is a painful experience–there’s no doubt about it. When the pain becomes about suffering, then it seems the painful experience takes everything from...

Valentine Coat of Amore

On the day before Valentine’s Day of 1992 Nelson informed me that he wanted to take me to lunch and would be at my office at noon the next day to pick me up for our date. As I was working in my office on Valentine’s Day, I heard the elevator door open. I looked up to see my stunning husband entering my space carrying an elegant silver tray and dressed in a vintage black tuxedo with tails, a white shirt, a...

Quit

Ohhh… You’ll have days when you just want to quit. Just write your resignation letter and leave it on the kitchen table. Or, maybe, you’d like to just walk past the kitchen table, out the back door, through the back yard and head straight to the airport. But, that’s just a dream. Because of all the things you can’t do is quit. Because, really, quitting is about giving up on...

Valentine Gift for $2.35

I remember the heebie-jeebies of buying a Valentine Gift. I had my favorite meal of pancakes and scramble eggs in front of me but I could only eat a couple bites. I was in the bathroom and hidden under the hamper full of clothes was the catalog…it was my bible of how to shop for a Valentine Gift. I’ve spent so many hours studying all the potential gifts from jewelry to dresses and even looked at the pretty...

A Valentine’s Story

It was our second date. Friday, February 14, 1997. I was a senior in high school, he was a freshman at college. I had waited all day, thinking I would be called to the office to pick up flowers, like many of my friends. But, there were none. I was a little disappointed, but reminded myself that our first date was only a week ago. I shouldn’t expect flowers. We weren’t even, technically, dating. One date...

Tell Us: What’s Your Love Story?

I love a love story. What better day to share a love story than on Valetine’s Day? So, today, share your love story. Your love story could be the one with your spouse or partner. Or, the one with your favorite pet. Or, with your favorite book. Or, your best friend. Or, your kids. It just has to be a story about love. Share your love story on in our comments section below and you’ll be entered into a...

Electrical Storms

I love a good Midwestern thunderstorm. The air so still it quiets the neighbor’s dog. Lightening flashes so bright they illuminate the entire sky. Thunder booming so loud you can feel it in your chest. Electrical storms in the brain, I can do without. Robert moved out of his Old Home and we have said goodbye to inattention, high staff turnover and a few unnamed folks so uncomfortable with seizures they asked him...

Meet Mary

(Editor’s Note: Today we welcome a new blogger, Kristin. Here’s her story…) I am a retired social worker who is caregiving an 85-year-old woman with dementia in return for assistance I received years ago from one of this woman’s daughters, who helped me through an extraordinarily difficult year 23 years ago. I vowed then to repay her goodness when the opportunity presented itself. When her...

How Do You Manage the Sad?

Yesterday, on Your Caregiving Journey, Holly, who cares for her husband, joined us to talk about how she manages her sad moments. You can listen to our show via the player below. Holly and I talked about the difference between sadness and depression. For me, sadness is a response to an upsetting situation. I think depression, often described as anger toward inward, has a component of self-blame. I think depression...

Happy Heart Day

This past Monday, I began experiencing some tightness in my chest and pain in my arm. I didn’t focus too much on it until Thursday morning when I experienced it again and this time told Greg about it. He convinced me to call the doctor. I did and went in that morning for an EKG. The EKG came up abnormal, so the doctor sent me over to the hospital to undergo some tests (which took several hours). My dad began...

Me and My Shadow (long winded, don’t say I didn’t tell you)

What a taxing week we have had, Hubby and I. It’s been one of those weeks where Hubby has been and more confused and lost and falling down more. This is how our journey has felt. Hubby lost his map. Insistent that he knows what he’s doing he finds himself going in circles and taking wrong turns in the house. Not one to ask for directions he departs for places unknown in search of the familiar. In...

Moving Them In (Part 2)

I’ve told the beginning of the story (You Need to Get Your Parents Right Now) and I’ve told of some of the adjustments and aftermath (Moving Them In) but there is a middle part still untold.  In many ways it is the hardest part. My parents do not accept their current living facility as their home. Every day they dress and pack and await my return so that I can “drive them home”. Each visit I will check my...

Love Story: A Contest

Valentine’s Day is Monday. So, as a way to celebrate, we’d love to hear your love story. Your love story could be the one with your spouse or partner. Or, the one with your favorite pet. Or, with your favorite book. Or, your best friend. It just has to be a story about love. On Monday, share your love story on Caregiving.com and you’ll be entered into a chance to win a $50 Visa gift card. Not sure...

National Kidney Foundation Needs Family Caregivers for a Survey

The National Kidney Foundation is conducting an online survey to understand the needs of patients with certain serious kidney ailments and their caregivers. The survey is being conducted by Harris Interactive, a market research firm known for The Harris Poll.  The foundation is in need of  family caregivers (parents, siblings, friends, and other family members) or paid home caregivers (nurses or aides) of these...

Winter Orange

Now this black wool fabric hat trimmed with a brilliant orange flower with a hint of green, when compared to Patricia Underwood’s designs, is on the other end of the hat continuum. The Style Crone loves the entire spectrum as hats have the ability to express different moods, attitudes, perspectives, possibilities. This hat is fun and a bit ‘tongue in cheek.’ I needed a touch of humor after Nelson’s PET scan...

Dread

I am a coward. I admit it. I dread dealing with anything legal, or new, or different. Wednesday, I was finally able to take off long enough to get my brother’s vehicle titles changed into my name so that I can do something with them. I cried on the way to the DMV. It seems like I cry every time I have to deal with closing or ending one more aspect of his life. That’s part of it, of course. . ....

Happy 87th Birthday, Mom!

Mom turns 87 years old today. It is a glorious, sunny day today. That is rare in the Pacific Northwest in February. We are taking her to watch the sunset over the ocean this evening, one of her favorite places to be. It is too cold to be outdoors much, but just sitting in her van and watching the sunset will be wonderful for her. We’ve been celebrating her birthday for a week now, with individual visits from...

How Do You Manage Your Caregiving Help?

They arrive and then you leave: The professional caregivers who step in to your shoes so you can work or get a break. You depend on them, but how do you manage them well? Even if the professionals works for a home care agency, they’ll need your guidance. And, if they work directly for you, they’ll need your management. Cindy Laverty, who cared for her former father-in-law and author of...

Tell Us: When Does Too Much Feels Like There’s Not Enough?

In Chicago, once we clear away our snow, we bring out our lawn chairs, ironing boards and toys. We clear snow out of parking spaces and, because we don’t want to lose a cleared space, we hold a space with whatever we can find. My street is littered, literally, with old furniture, paint buckets and empty boxes weighed down with snow. We also worry that, because of all the snow, we won’t be able to find a...

That Wash Woman

Caught the live Blogcast today on Professional Caregivers. YAY! I usually forget until they are already over. The following is an old blog post I wrote about our professional Caregiver, our need for one and our experience during the process. Dated Jan, 2010 Sometimes, OK,  lots of times, Hubby can not remember the name of his personal care aide so He calls her “That Wash Woman.” She and I think...

Do You Quote Someone in Your Life?

In building the list for my Journey of 50 Lunches, I included people who have impacted my life by noticing who I repeatedly quote. Think about it…is there someone(s) who imparted wisdom as he/she crossed your life’s path? Wisdom that still resonates within your head and in your life? In my life, it was Keith Moore, aka My Best Boss. Even though it has been almost three decades since I worked for Keith,...

We All Fall Down

We have had our fair share of unsteadiness for the last couple 3 days! Before then, Hubby took a downward turn in cognition but had some ‘busy and awake’ days. Those days followed by a sleep crash. Waking only when reminded to use the bathroom or to eat. Besides the downturn in cognition Hubby has had mobility problems. We’ve had to retrieve the wheelchair on two separate occasions for...