This morning on Your Caregiving Journey, Anna Stookey joined me to discuss the relationship of pain to suffering. Pain is a part of life; does suffering have to be a part of the pain equation? You can listen to our show via the player below.
Caregiving is a painful experience–there’s no doubt about it. When the pain becomes about suffering, then it seems the painful experience takes everything from you—perspective, sense of humor, choices, options, confidence, hope, faith. Suffering intensifies the pain, making life all about the painful experience. Suffering seems to silence any of life’s blessings.
Anna and I discussed some strategies you can use to minimize your suffering in order to better manage a painful experience. We talked about curiosity, which can help you disengage from the drama of the suffering.
So, I wonder: When have you suffered in caregiving? When have you felt like the pain of caregiving swallowed you? Please share your story, and how you worked through it, in our comments section below.
Resources
Webinar: Turning Take Care Upside Down
Related Articles
- The Shifting Gears of Grief (caregiving.com)
You are a disruptor. The delivery of health care starts with you, continues because of you, and ends with you. Let's disrupt together to make the world better for family caregivers. 
Bette
I enjoyed this show very much! Thank you. As my mother required more help with personal care, mobility, and communication, my pain within caregiving turned to suffering. At times (and even now at times) it felt like too much to endure.
For me, talking with someone to work through acceptance of what is happening with my mother (and me), is a wonderful relief.
I also began to think of detachment (from a previous show) as a tool. I liked how Anna talked again about detaching: as not being attached to it, but watching it. She went on to talk about being a compassionate observer-I like that alot.
I do think, as Denise talked about, we can allow for a different outcome. I was wondering tonight, if it weren’t for caregiving, would I be as prepared for living? I don’t think so. Although, what is happening with my mother is just awful and sad, it is preparing me for life to come.
I don’t like change (at all) and yet change in life is inevitable…I have seen it over the past few months like I have never seen it before. So, to take from the change and make it better within our perspectives, instead of fighting it, puts us in a better/stronger place. The change is going to happen. Better to grow with it, than to deny it or think we can prevent it.
On a lighter note (maybe on the humerous side that Denise and Anna talked about on the show)…Marah, our 8 year old slept in her own bed last night, for the first time in a very very long time (long story). All went well, but with that change, if that wasn’t enough…Abrah was asked out on her first “date” tonight. (:
Lots of changes. If I could have frozen time years ago, I probably would have. Maybe by “melting” or accepting the change we can avoid our own meltdowns(: