This is a picture of  Marah’s arm this morning when she woke up.  I had never noticed these designs on the comforter before–sure enough they were there. (:

I couldn’t help but equate the imprints to caregiving.

In the challenges of caregiving, and sometimes the feeling of drudgery, there are unexpected lessons, joys, rewards,…positive imprints happening that we may not be aware of, some we may not be aware of for years to come.

I’ve been working diligently on adding help, particularly since my mother requires so much more assistance now. Our very favorite aide seems to be able to hold the fort down, helping with the transitions of both the new changes in my mother and the new changes in help. I received a call today from the Health Care Agency that she works for, telling me that she would be leaving them at the end of the month.

I’m really trying hard not to cry and throw my hands up in the air, but if you knew the dynamics and the relationship between her and my mother, you would understand my challenge in staying calm.

This aide had just started helping with showers (she’s been with us for 3 years) and the only one, other than me, that my mother would even talk about receiving help with a shower from. She is kind, nurturing, has a sense of humor, is so responsible and professional, and even helps in buying new clothes and shoes for my mother…when she takes her to doctors’ appointments, she takes notes if needed.

She is the definition of what “companionship” means for my mother. They go through the drive-thru at Dunkin Donuts for coffee (it is hard to get my mother in and out of the car) and you would think from my mother’s smile, they had been on an all day excursion. I haven’t mentioned this to my mother yet because I didn’t want to get emotional in front of her, but we’ll need to talk about it tomorrow.

So, what could be the imprints or lessons I receive with this challenge? What is it that can cause a lasting lesson? I am thinking it is to be grateful that I am trying to stay ahead of the challenges, and in the process of adding more help (although I am still not feeling real comfortable with any of the new aides), to be thankful we had the opportunity to get to know this aide, so we know what qualities we can have, and it definitely shows me that a back-up plan is a very good thing.

I sure hope there are other unexpected imprints down the road because they are feeling a little dim right now. Maybe the imprints are not only for the caregiver, but could be for the caree as well…

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