Hard to Know How to Explain Certain Needs…

With the end of the school year approaching, our school picnic and times away are beginning to be planned. My aunt has always come to the house for us to care for my mother (her sister). This year, as my aunt has aged, and my mother has experienced so much decline, I need to rely on aides, and help that is prepared to offer support within the dementia. We are thinking about incorporating two or three different...

Tell Us: What Makes You Nervous?

My post earlier this week about nerves struck a nerve with me. And, then after our talk show on worrying with Karol Ward, I really started thinking about nerves. Sometimes, in caregiving, you may fee like you wear kid gloves, walk on egg shells, tip-toe on a tight rope. And, at times, the gloves, eggs and tight-rope come into play because of nerves. How others, such as your caree, may react makes you nervous so you...

Coping with Loss

(Today, we welcome our newest (and youngest) blogger, Liliana, who cares for her mom. She begins her story with her first post.) It is sometimes hard to explain to people why I feel like I’m going through a period of grief. Well I’ve learned in life that sometimes all that matters is that I understand. In June of 2009, after my little sister’s high school graduation, my family and I headed out to...

Resolving Money

This morning, Ellen Rogin, our wealthness expert, joined me to discuss money as it relates to relationships and relationships impacted by caregiving. You can listen to our show via the player below. We spoke about the importance of communication when it comes to all things money. In particular, we spoke about the discussing expectations if you and your spouse contribute to a caregiving budget. It’s important...

The Talk

Robert and I had “The Talk.” I was Mean Mommy for a few minutes and it so happened that our talk was the same day he saw the dentist. Might as well get all the icky stuff done in one day! I’ll admit it. Robert hasn’t seen a dentist in several years. (I’ll wait a minute for the outcry to die down. . .). Sorry, okay? I didn’t take Robert to the dentist.  It was on my list of things to do but it never got...

Hospice Magic

The Style Crone is impressed. In less than one hour Nelson’s pain was under control and a new medication regimen has improved his disrupted sleep pattern, his symptoms have been addressed, and his energy level is at a place where he is back behind the camera with a few playful comments as an added bonus. Now we’re talking! This is a model for healthcare that I can believe in. We have been treated with respect,...

From Worrying to Trusting

This morning on Your Caregiving Journey, Karol Ward, author of Worried Sick: Break Free from Chronic Worry to Achieve Mental & Physical Health, joined me to talk about how we can move from worrying to trusting. You can listen to our show via the player, below. Kard, who cares for mom, explained the two categories of worry: Circumstantial (situations occur which lead to worry) and chronic (a learned state of...

Phew! Me on TV Today

I’m organizing a fundraiser here in Chicago called Coaching for Good. On April 16, life and business coaches will bring coaching to the Chicago area in order to raise money to benefit Little Brothers – Friends of the Elderly. Our goal is to raise $1,200. We plugged our event this morning on one of our favorite local news shows, WGN Morning News. I thought you’d enjoy watching. I was OVER THE MOON...

Routine to Compassion

Since my mother’s stroke several years ago, it seems as though we’ve been caught up in many whirlwinds along the way.  From medication changes, to surgeries (hip, knee, and a stent placed to relieve high blood pressure), to moves with Greg’s job—all have seemed to push us toward leaning (a little too much sometimes) on routine.  The sometimes rushed routines of the day can turn into the...

Could Use Prayer (and Able-Bodied Men)

I know I’ve posted lots about living on our beautiful river. However, there is a dark side to living where we do. Over the past three days, our bank (about 75 feet high) has had a series of slides. The slide is now about 150 feet wide, from the top of the bank to the bottom, and is only about 15 feet off our back deck. It slid 2 years ago, but we had installed drainage, reinforcement and replanted it....

It’s Kristin Day!

Update! We reached our goal this morning at 10:30 CT. Thanks to all who donated! We sent Kristin $500 today!! Today, it’s Kristin Day. Kristin is our first recipient of CareGifters, an initiative that funds caregiving solutions, one family caregiver at a time. Through CareGifters, we work to give $500 to a family caregiver so he or she can resolve a challenge. We’re at 47% of goal—meaning we need...

Nose to Nose Creates Deeper Relationships

Dr. Cacioppo wrote a book called Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection. He says that humans need a deep connection with the people around us and, without it, there is a higher risk for chronic disease and early death. There was a study in 2007 at the Rush Alzheimer’s Disease Center that showed that lonely people were twice as likely to get Alzheimer’s disease late in life. In a...

Nerve

You may have people in your life who do and say in such a way that you think, Where do they get the nerve? Then, you have situations and circumstances that seem to demand so much from you that you wonder, Where will I get the nerve? It may seem that others have all the nerve while you seem to need more. Know you have nerve. You have it because it’s already gotten you this far. You have the nerve that’s...

The Journey Begins

We have been through so much this past year both medically and financially. My hope is that by telling our story and chronicling the steps we are taking to get things back together, I can save others from going through what we have been through. My wife has a combination of autoimmune and nueromuscular diseases (doctors can’t agree on a specific diagnosis so we have a page and a half list of possible...

Morphine Makes an Entrance

The composition for today did not include spring flowers and radiant splashes of color. Nelson experienced pain for the first time since entering hospice. A rapid response from our caregivers provided relief with the order to begin liquid morphine and suffering was interrupted. Comfort is the main goal at this time and Nelson is resting quietly as we absorb this new arrival on the scene. My outfit lies in waiting...

We’re In a Solitaire Showdown!!

Today, we’re playing Solitaire! $50 and bragging rights are up for grabs! Join us!! Play our Solitaire game any time between Noon and 8 p.m. CT. The winner with the high score at 8 p.m. CT (9 p.m. ET, 6 p.m. PT) will wina $50. More importantly, you’ll win bragging rights.  At Noon CT (1 p.m. ET, 10 a.m. PT), I wipe the Leader Board clean and we begin the battle. In order to win, you must join our ...

I Don’t Know What That Means

Hubby and I have been trying to converse about a couple of things. The confusion that comes with his Lewy Body Dementia has really taken a forward jolt leaving me to scramble for a thesaurus when trying to talk with him. His conversations are nearly nill anyway but after shortening compound sentences to singles; then single complex to simple; and simple to “old western movie indian”; and sometimes,...

Think 90%

This morning on Your Caregiving Journey, Holly, who cares for her husband, joined me for Table Talk. Today, we talked about planning for the future when the future seem so fuzzy. You can listen to our show via the player below. Holly offered a suggestion she learned in a leadership book by John Maxwell: Focus 5% of your thoughts on the past. Focus 5% of your thoughts on the future. Focus 90% of your thoughts on...

She’s Home, and Tucked Into Her Own Little Bed

After an incredibly long day today, I’m happy to report that Mom is home and tucked into her own bed, with her little dog beside her. We had an appointment at 2:00 this afternoon in the big city. It went very smoothly. Her uro/gynecologist is just as wonderful as I remember him from 3 years ago when he did Mom’s surgery. His goal- to prevent these UTIs, which have landed her in the hospital three times...

Would You Like a Little Whine With That?

A week of doing the bear hug waltz for all transfers took a little bit of a toll on my back. The good news is that Mom’s hand healed much faster than the doctor expected, so she is back to doing her own transfers. The reddened skin on her bottom—which developed really fast—never really became an open sore, but I think it was a close thing. I know that it hurt her quite a bit. It seems to be healing now and at...

Taking the Follow

We aired our March Caregiving Book Club discussion yesterday on Your Caregiving Journey. Cathie Borrie, the author of this month’s pick, joined me to discuss her book, “The Long Hello ~ The Other Side of Alzheimer’s.” You can listen to our discussion via the player below. Cathie cared for her mom, who had dementia, for seven years. During our discussion, Cathie shared her technique for coping...

Happiness Project: April

I can’t believe we’re heading into our tenth month of our Caregiving Happiness Project. Wow! In April, we’re flipping March on its head. We learned in March so, in April, we’re teaching. For me, I’m going to teach what I learned in March. How about you? What will you teach in April? I look forward to hearing about your goals. Would you like to be a part of our Happiness Project? We’d...