Happy Memorial Day

I am on my way this morning to pick Mom up from the adult family home, take her to put flowers on Daddy’s grave, and then come home overnight. I am looking forward to having time alone with her. I have missed her so very much since the move to the adult family home. She is fairly lucid right now. UTI #6 (or #7 since January, I’ve lost track) is under control. She started antibiotics for it on...

I Am Not the Only One Suffering

Let’s take the bouldering mistakes of the past, And the roadblocking challenges of the present, And build them into stairs that support our climb into the future. —Mattie J.T. Stepanek Yesterday, I sat at home and vented to my sister most of the day about not being to just pick up and decide to go out. My sister agreed with me, but also said something that really surprised me especially coming out....

Reflecting on Smiles

Some days, you just gotta smile and laugh. Thought I would share a few Facebook status lines that made me smile or laugh from the last couple weeks. Reminders to me that things aren’t always bad. (Hubby) can’t hear me. I change my tone, raise my voice and repeat, more than once. He gets huffy and says he’s sorry he asked because I’m yelling at him, then I finally yell at him to tell him...

Nicole’s Writing Assignment

Nicole had to do a short essay called a character sketch for school that has to be sent in to the accredited school that Nicole does her curriculum through. She had to pick someone she knew and do a character sketch. She wanted to do it on one of our dogs but I told her she couldn’t do it on the dog. Anyway, she did it on me. First, it took her at least two hours to do a page and a half. She was so...

A Universal Struggle

I woke up in a bit of a “startle” this morning as Greg was tapping me – my mother was in the bathroom…by herself.  She can get in, but can’t get out and doesn’t know what to do when she is in there.  When a day begins like this, it always takes me a minute (or two) to get oriented. My mother’s word find and communication have been particularly more strained over the...

The Phone Call

I was talking to a relative this evening.  Granted, he was on a cell phone, so maybe the connection wasn’t that good.  The call went something like this: Caller:  Is it true Steve doesn’t have the same kind of Parkinson’s as Michael J. Fox? Me: Well, he doesn’t have Parkinson’s, so Caller: But it’s not the same kind as Michael J. Fox’s because he doesn’t have...

Progress and Respite

Last week Paul and I viewed his latest bone scan; there really isn’t anything that wasn’t affected. The doc convinced him to go back on hormone ablation, which he says generally keeps patients holding pretty well for up to five years. Paul had been discouraged last fall when his PSA went up to 170 and thought that was “it” so he’d gone off everything, opting for homeopathy only....

Dear New Home:

Who decided it would be a good thing to treat the family of one of your residents as if they were someone to be patted on the head and told, “There, there.  Don’t worry your pretty little head about this.”  Let’s review events since move-in three months ago:  You changed his medication schedule because it would be more convenient for you (and, oops! surprise! he had more seizures!).  You...

Webinar Follow-Up: Without a Doubt, What Will You Do?

In yesterday’s webinar, “Dispelling Doubt: Caregiving with Clarity,” we discussed how doubt steals your confidence. With doubt, life seems foggy. With confidence, life shows its possibilities. During the webinar, you participated in a visualization which helped you dispel a doubt. Now, without the doubt, you’ve committed to taking an action. In our comments section, below, please show what,...

Mary’s B-A-A-C-K!

If there is anything worse than spending 24/7 with Mary, the cantankerous, ungrateful, angry person I caretake, it is doing so without a computer for 2-3 months to connect me to the outside world of the compos mentis. I am finally up and running and am most grateful. I have tried to keep up with others’ daily blogs on the library’s computers,  and have been moved by the stories. I do realize that my...

Fifty-Fifty Feelings

My second cousin Isaac coined the phrase “fifty-fifty feelings” this weekend. He’s 9. His family was supposed to come to the wedding, but after a snafu involving lightning and a Delta terminal, they got stranded in Minneapolis. He was crushed. No one, except maybe my Dibi, rocks a dance floor quite like Isaac. But, the upside: He has cousins his age in Minneapolis. “I have fifty-fifty...

Presidential Citizens Medal

For the 2011 Presidential Citizens Medal, the White House is asking citizens to nominate the men and women around us who have left an impact within their communities, and in turn inspired others. http://www.whitehouse.gov/citizensmedal I don’t know if she is eligible because of some nuances of the qualifications but one of the first people I thought of:  our very own Denise Brown Consider the medal criteria:...

“Are You My Mother?”

My mother asked me this question this afternoon. I’m getting a little more use to my feelings that accompany comments such as this (thank you for all the listening as I’ve sorted through her words), but I still get a bit of a lump in my throat. (: It’s interesting that “Are You My Mother?” by P.D. Eastman was a favorite of Marah’s,  and I often used it in my kindergarten...

Cooking for Caregiving – Stocking Up

One of the keys to combining convenience with taste and nutrition is having the right ingredients on hand. This post is a collection of ideas and links about how to cut prep time by stocking the pantry with healthy recipe components … what we’re calling “meal accelerators”. Here’s an article from Cooking Light showcasing 10 off-the-shelf ingredients that make cooking easier and...

A New Normal

I will be finishing a wonderful Bible study this week by Priscilla Shirer called Jonah. I have really learned a lot during this study. Priscilla mentioned during one of the video sessions about a book by Carol Kent called A New Kind of Normal. I went to the library and checked out this book. I started reading this book and I can see already that this will be live changing for me. The premise of the book is...

Motherhood Started 9 Years Ago

Nine years ago today I was 19-years-old, Chuck was 25 -years-old and he had not become ill/disabled yet. We had been married just a few days shy of six months. I gave birth to and we became parents to our very first child, our only boy, Dylan Alexander I was a senior in high school and had just attended my Senior Prom six days prior. High School Graduation was June 1, 2002, so eight days after having a baby I was...

Receiving in Order to Receive

This afternoon, Amanda Owen, author of The Power of Receiving, our May Caregiving Book Club pick, joined me for a discussion on Your Caregiving Journey. Amanda’s book offers tools to help us become as skilled in receiving as we are in giving. You can listen to our show via the player, below. I loved this book, as you’ll hear during our discussion. Amanda provides really helpful exercises that help you...

A Depressed Life

Anna Stookey, our emotional wellness expert, joined me on Your Caregiving Journey this morning to talk about depression. You can listen to our show via the player, below. According to a recent caregiving survey conducted by Caring.com, twenty-five percent of respondents stated that they suffer from depression, well above the national figure of 9 percent cited in a 2010 study by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control...

Tell Us: What Ties Your Hands?

It could be a decision your caree has made about help—that there will be no help from “strangers.” Or, it could be your caree’s decision about treatments (too much or not little). Or, it could be a family member’s decision about what you can or can’t do. Or, it could be simply a caree’s preference about a schedule or a food or a way that feels more like a inflexible...

Sometimes, You Just Have to Let Go

I can pretty much hold a grudge for the rest of my life. But what good does it do me, when the person doesn’t even care. My family and I are in the process of moving out of our home. We have lived here for 12 years, but since my dad recently filed bankruptcy he has decided to walk away from the house. A couple of months ago we realized that paying a mortgage was something we were not able to do with only my...

Race

They call it a rat race. Wikipedia says it’s a “term used for an endless, self-defeating or pointless pursuit.” Some days it sure can feel just like that—a race with no finish line in site, no cheering spectators to encourage, no cold water to refresh, no break from a beating sun. When the race becomes about wheezing and sweating, stop. Rest. Breathe. Recover. In life, we cross the finish...

Focus

So I sat around and moped about feeling empty and watching the days fly by etc, etc. I suppose God laughs at me at those times. One of my favorite stories in the Bible is when Jesus, after feeding the multitude with 2 fishes and 5 loaves, sent his disciples out into a boat to “Go on ahead, I’ll catch up”. He sent the people home, went off to pray and then went out to join his disciples in the...