2011, Not A Good Year So Far!

Sorry I haven’t given you all an update. To say I’ve been busy would be almost comical. My mom has had yet another UTI (the fifth since January). She was able to stay at the adult family home through this one (instead of being in the hospital), and we caught it early so she didn’t get as sick. We are still working on the landslide issue, and have had contractors come out to give us bids on moving...

Adjustments

Just wanted to share a picture of Marah helping my mother learn to use her Mother’s Day gift from us. I’m hoping this will help my mother gain strength in her legs and continue to walk, even just a few steps is sooo helpful. We had a nice day yesterday. Abrah’s new (and first) boyfriend spent the afternoon with us. He’s been extremely respectful towards Abrah and toward us. The newest...

The Why Behind the Feeding Tube Decision

In caregiving, some decisions carry an emotional charge unlike any other life decision. The decision about a feeding tube for your caree is one of those decisions. A feeding tube can be a helpful option during a time when your caree will recover (from a surgery, for instance). For those nearing end of life, the feeding tube causes discomfort without extending survival. Some studies show that a feeding tube can...

Tight

Sometimes, the pants are too tight. Sometimes, the budget is too tight. And, sometimes, the quarters are too tight. And, then, at times, it’s all too tight. When it all seems too tight, how can you find room? Let loose with a walk, a plan to adjust, quiet time alone. When you lessen the hold that tight has, you somehow find more room in your life. The walk reminds you that you can make healthy choices. The...

Take our 2011 Family Caregiver Survey

Update: Our survey is now closed. Thanks to all for sharing! We want to know what’s it like for you! Our 2011 Family Caregiver Survey asks you about your experiences: What’s hard, what help you wish you had, what changes you’ve made because of your role. The survey may take as long as 30 minutes, so feel free to save and restart your survey as needed. We’ll share the results of our survey...

Site of the Week: SharingStore.com

What’s in a caregiving closet? Sometimes, it’s full of supplies, equipment and gadgets no longer appropriate for the current caregiving situation. And, sometimes, a closet contains supplies and equipment even after a caregiving experience ends. What to do with what’s no longer needed? Sell it at a Caregiving Spring Sale! SharingStore.com, a classifieds site for privately-owned caregiving supplies and...

Thankful for Another Mother’s Day with Mom

The past few years Mom’s health has been declining and last year after seeing Mom in such bad shape, I wondered if she would make it to another Mother’s Day. I never was close to Mom growing up but over the years with her illnesses we formed a bond that is inseparable. Today is Mother’s Day and I wanted to take Mom out from the rehab but she wasn’t ready to be among crowds. It’s...

Mother’s Day and Meaning

At day’s end I’m thinking of all moms in our world, and the difficult jobs we all do every day. Today has been “sweet-bitter” as in more sweet than bitter; my two younger sons made breakfast and cleaned up, the eldest called from Rhode Island where he’s living and we had a good talk as well. Being Sunday, Paul was on duty at church. He’s now done with classes, but I still have...

My Mother’s Day

I’m not big on Mother’s Day. It’s just another holiday that the retailer’s try to make money. I know this is a bad attitude. I think that you should show your mom everyday how wonderful she is. My mom is gone so the day is always a little hard even though it does get easier as the years go by. I have an awesome mother-in-law who I love and think of as my second mom. I knew I wouldn’t...

Cooking for Caregiving – Finger Foods

A while back, Denise suggested the subject of finger foods for carees who have trouble with utensils. It seemed like a great idea, and it started us on a long journey to look for resources (recipes and other suggestions) related to the topic. Here (finally, sorry for the time lapse!) is a compilation of that research. To start: the idea that finger foods are useful, particularly for those with dementia, is not...

Happy Mother’s Day!

Wishing everyone a good day today. When you have a chance, please let us know how the day goes in our forum for our General group.

Changes Can Mean Growth…If You Let Them (:

Marah’s dance class performed at a nursing facility last night. I thought, with all that was going on here, it would be harder for me than it was. All went very smoothly though, and it was really fun to watch the patients’ faces…and their feet! Yesterday, we had our challenges here, the challenges are becoming more normal though. My mother didn’t know where she was. She knew though that...

You’re the Coach

This morning on Your Caregiving Journey, Holly, who cares for her husband who has frontotemporal dementia, joined me for Table Talk. She helped to answer the questions: How much do I push my caree? How do I know how much he or she can handle? (You can listen to our show, via the player below.) Holly shared several suggestions, including eliminating a question when assigning tasks. Meaning, instead of asking her...

Life on the Corner of a Wish and a Prayer

That’s basically what I answered my son last night when he ask me if he could drive home. His qualification to drive… he’s a graduate of Driver’s Ed. YEAH!  Now I’ve put him behind the wheel in parking lots and such and Driver’s Ed did give him several days of road time but last night it was dark, we were in a hurry and I told him I’m was in my state of denial where there are no teenagers...

Contest: Technology in a Caregiving Life, 2031

Imagine that your caree has a fever and you need a doctor. Instead of trying to describe symptoms and your concern (“She just doesn’t look like herself”) over the phone, you connect with a doctor through your tablet’s video screen. With the doctor’s guidance, you run the necessary tests using your caree’s tablet, with results available within seconds on the physician’s...

How Do You Define Success?

Yesterday, on Your Caregiving Journey, Ellen Rogin, our wealthness expert, joined me for a discussion about success. Ellen discussed a definition of success that a friend recently shared with her: Success is using your gifts to solve a problem no one else can. Success means being a leader in your life by serving others and making a difference. It essence, you are a servant leader. Ellen differentiated gifts from...

Don’t Judge the Book by Its Cover

I wrote this for people to read when they don’t bother to think about the lives of spousal caregivers, or those who care for their sick loved ones. Think about this: “You don’t look sick” answer: “No, I don’t, maybe not to you” It’s hard to explain to someone when they have no clue. It’s a daily struggle feeling sick on the inside while you look fine on the...

Life Sucks!

I hate to be so negative about life but that is exactly how I feel right now! About a week ago I received a letter from financial aid regarding my application and according to the letter I was going to qualify for over $5,000.00 for the year 2011-12 of the school year. The news was great because that was more than enough for my first school year. Well, today I received an email from my admissions counselor letting...

I’m a Little Freaked Out…

Nicole had her monthly blood work on Monday. They did a whole series of hemoglobin. I got the hematology results and her RBC is a little high, her MCH is a little low, her RDW is a littler higher than the other two and her platelet count is quite low. I called the doctor’s office and I spoke to the doctor personally. He said he is concerned about the platelet count but some girls run low in platelets (his...

It’s Jane Day!

Update!! We did it. We’re sending $500 to Jane today (at 11:10 a.m. CT to be exact). Thanks to all who helped!! Today, it’s Jane Day. Jane is our second recipient of CareGifters, an initiative that funds caregiving solutions, one family caregiver at a time. Through CareGifters, we work to give $500 to a family caregiver so he or she can resolve a challenge. We’re at 71% of goal—meaning we need $145...

Little Robbie

Before Robert was “Robert,” he was Little Robbie and Little Robbie was a little terror!  I even wrote in my diary once that I didn’t like him (yes, there were such things as “diaries” and “pens” before Facebook).  I was probably ten and knew everything and he was five and couldn’t sit still.  He loved to destroy things; he wouldn’t listen to me; he got lost in every store we visited.  Curly...

Focus Is a Very Powerful Word

My mother had a much better morning this morning. Thank you all so much for your strong and encouraging support as we transition into more newness of dementia. Tonight however, was the first time that I had a hard time calming her tears.  How do you answer the question: “I know I have a home, I want to go there now, please take me”, as she stands and cries at the front door. Maybe...