The Calm Before the Storm

I haven’t posted recently since I have been trying to get my life back in order after working crazy hours 6 days a week.  It’s been crazy running back and forth between work and Mom and these past few weeks I just needed a break from everything and  everyone. I haven’t felt like calling or talking to anyone at all.  Sometimes I just need time to myself to get everything in order. Mom has been...

Social Security Disability – Troubled System

When we applied for my husbands disability in late 2007, no one ever contacted us. (Online portion wasn’t submitted, like it was supposed to be, their fault). So I filled everything out again in mid 2009; we weren’t contacted till January 2010. He goes for the SS Doctor evaluation in February 2010, and he falls in front of the doctor during the balance and neurosensory tests. We receive the first...

Poll: The Toughest Talk

This week’s poll, sponsored by Caregiving.com and eCareDiary.com asks: What was the most difficult conversation with your caree? Please vote below and share in our comments section. What Was the Most Difficult Conversation With Your Caree?Market Research Related Articles Poll: Does Your Employer Provide Flexibility? (caregiving.com) Poll: What’s Hard to Accept?...

VA Taking Applications for Caregiver Program

Yesterday, the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) published the interim final rule for implementing the Family Caregiver Program of the Caregivers and Veterans Omnibus Health Services Act 2010. This new rule will provide additional support to eligible post-9/11 Veterans who elect to receive their care in a home setting from a primary family caregiver. “We at VA know that every day is a challenge for our most...

It’s Not All Bad

Oh, there’s sunshine, Blessed sunshine, While the peaceful, happy moments roll; When Jesus shows His smiling face, There is sunshine in my soul. YAY for warm air and sunshine. Please remind me come mid July and Aug that I said this! Hubby had another good day. Not as good as yesterday but still good. He even attempted to go outside with our three-year-old old grandson and me, so we could feed the birds. I...

Caring for a Young Husband: The Rundown

Hello My Fellow Caregivers, I’m Debbie, I’m 28-years-old and my husband, Chuck, is 34. We married in December 2001 and he became ill in 2005. He was born with Hydrocephalus and Spina Bifida in March 1977, which are brain and spine birth defects. Hydro is fluid around the brain; in his case, it was due to the spina bifida. (Spina bifida means he was born with a hole in his back, his spine and all the...

Tears or Fear

My mother is not here this morning. There’s a woman here who is hollering “Mama, Mama” and wandering with no clothes on, in her living room. I’m not sure anymore whether to be scared or to cry…but I knew right where to go. I’m so grateful for this group, for each of you. After getting her settled I came out of her living room and there sat my lab (Eli) and my laptop. I gave Eli...

Surreal

First we had the turmoil of potentially severe weather that included tornadoes. We ourselves were fortunate enough to have escaped the full brunt of the storms. Now we deal with flooding from what seems the never ending rains. It doesn’t seem right that Arkansas should feel this cold in May, but here I sit wearing a jacket and running my heater. As strange as it seems about that, I find myself in what feels a...

Rare Moments

The rare happy moments that no one else will understand are the best for me! I think that as a caregiver we move through life in such a rush because we are always running around doing things for others that we don’t have time to enjoy the happy moments. Well today I propose that we all stop and just think of a rare moment you had recently that you really enjoyed. Today I was just having a crappy day and...

My Family is Like Our Apple Tree

My family is like our apple tree. Yeah, I know that sounds weird, but I’ll explain.  With my husband having a memory disorder, MCI or lewy-body MCI, depending on who you talk to, our life is not like the life of anyone we have known prior to Steve’s diagnosis in December 2009. Steve had to retire from a job he loved after spending a year on disability. People seem to think our life is pathetic, the way this...

When Help Spells Meds

Danielle got up every morning—barely. She went to bed tired and woke up tired. She quit her job last year to care for her father full-time. She feels fortunate in that she has help and the budget to hire help. Her husband is supportive; her friends, kind. And, yet, she still feels completely overwhelmed. “I shouldn’t feel this way,” she tells herself. “I am just a wimp. I can fight my...

Site of the Week: Genworth Financial

(Editor’s Note: Today, we debut a new sponsored section of Caregiving.com called Site of the Week. We thank Genworth Financial for its generous support of Caregiving.com.) It’s one of our “should’s”: We should talk to our aging relatives about their wishes relating to their future care. We should, but, wow, do we hesitate. “Let’s Talk,” a special section of Genworth...

Next Time

We can be so generous in the chances we give to others. We are quick to help a friend feel better who at times can’t be as supportive as we’d like, to extend a good wish to someone who took a bad day out on us, to accept a hug from someone who may have hurt us. The ability to accept another’s imperfections speaks so well of us. We can give another another chance. Why, then, do we hesitate to be as...

Before You Judge Their Behavior . . .

Family caregivers do an awful lot for their carees. Even the most thoughtless and insensitive caree has to agree with this. But one of the really tough things for us to deal with is the irrational response of our caree to the assistance we offer. When she was alive, my mother-in-law used to sometimes have the most assaultive responses to things I did for her that were not done perfectly, or in accordance with...

Tell Us: What’s Your Never Wish?

I’m so enjoying reading our new members’ profiles. In the profiles, members share their three top concerns as well as their three top wishes. (You can view the profiles of new members by scrolling down and looking to your right under “Members.” Click on a member’s name to be directed to his or her personal page. Then, click on Profile to read more. If you see a member who has a similar...

More Turns

Over the last few days my mother has taken more turns. I’m exhausted and emotional, and there seems to be tears behind my eyes at all times. She can no longer communicate with me, and her confusion level has become heightened. She gets into things that she shouldn’t be (consistently) and that also exhausts me. I am trying to keep the specifics of the disease foremost in my mind, but there are times...

The Parent/Adult Child Relationship

(Editor’s Note: Today, we welcome a new member, Sandhya, who cares for her mom. Her first post follows.) I know parents can be the most difficult to care for because of the sometimes complicated relationship between a parent and an adult child. Therefore I will not dwell on negatives. Those are all well known. But how about the general difficult topics that go across relationship lines? How about knowing what...

Happiness Project: May

It’s May 1, which means we’re starting the eleventh month of our Happiness Project. In May, we’re resolving. For me, I’m going to resolve: A question I regularly ask myself: Should I email him? (And, that’s all I say.) A worry about my future. I have a plan, I have resources. I just want to resolve the worry. The tiny details I think about too much. I have a few small decisions to...