Saturday my family did something really different for us. You see, we are not adventurous people.  We don’t jump out of perfectly good airplanes, bungee jump, climb mountains because they exist or really step out of an ordinary life. But one day I saw an ad on TV for something called the Flightline at the Wild Animal Park. It looked so fun! The ad showed a person on a zipline sailing above the animals. I wanted to try it. Well, last month we received a discount coupon for the Flightline. The three of us agreed we wanted to do it. Having only one free Saturday all month, we made our reservation for last Saturday.

About a week before that, a magazine arrived from the zoo and animal park. It had a small paragraph about the Flightline and described it as “exciting and adventurous.” I looked at Steve and said, “I’m not into exciting and adventurous.” “You’re the one who wanted to do this” he said.  Gulp. He was right. And there was no way I was going to change my mind. My desire to fly over the animals trumped being scared.

Saturday morning we drove the nearly two hours to the animal park. We arrived early enough to have a snack before our flight.  We read and signed all the paperwork. Our son wasn’t really comfortable reading about all the risks involved, and I doubt that my reassurance that they wouldn’t let us fall and get eaten by the animals because it would be bad publicity made him feel any better.

We put on our safety equipment as directed and watched an instructional video. The landing looked awful! It was loud and looked sort of like slamming into a stationary object. However, one of the couples in our group was back for the second time that day. They reassured everyone that the landing wasn’t as bad as it seemed and that the landing on the training flight was actually worse than the landing on the longer ride.

We walked to the training platform and watched the first group sail across to the landing platform. They made it! Now it was our turn. Our son was visibly nervous. I actually wasn’t nervous. I felt like I couldn’t afford to be because I really wanted to do this and I really wanted to enjoy it. I didn’t want to waste my flight being scared. Securely clipped into the harness, I was sent on my way. Zoom! I reached the landing platform in seconds. I briefly worried they wouldn’t tell me to prepare for the landing but realized the employee had no desire for me to slam into them. The landing sounded bad, but was actually quite smooth.

And then it was off to the real flight. We sailed for 2/3 of a mile 160 feet over the animals. I was excited, but not scared.  I wanted to enjoy every second of the flight, and I did! When I got off I said, “That was the coolest thing I have ever done!!!” and I meant it. I was so proud of myself for trying something that is so far out of my comfort zone.

Caregiving involves a lot of scary situations. Sometimes the unknown is scary and sometimes the answer is scary. When the answer is scary, it can be dealt with and understood. You have something, no matter how unwelcome, and can research it and find out more about it. When something is unknown, it can make your mind race around trying to find out what fits the situation. Tomorrow is a day that may resolve an unknown, but it still feels like a scary situation. Steve and I go back to the local university to hear the results of his annual assessment. Will they say he has lewy-body? Will they say they think he doesn’t, that our newest neurologist wouldn’t communicate with them and we should find a new doctor? Will they say they’ve got a new idea about the problem?

While this isn’t positive like flying over rhinos, I still don’t want to waste time being scared. There are hours of time between now and our appointment, and I want to enjoy all the things that time contains including the lasagna I made for dinner. I do not have any false thoughts that I’ll think tomorrow’s meeting is, “The coolest thing I have ever done,” but maybe at the end of the day, I’ll be just as proud of myself for facing this potentially scary situation head on.

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