A Life Line: The Worst

In a caregiving role, you may find yourself thinking: This is the worst. My life is the worst life ever. I’ve been thinking, What’s the worst thing that can happen? In this Life Line, I offer my perspective on what really is the worst thing that can happen to us. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section,...

2011 Survey Results: What Do You Think?

Yesterday, I shared the results of our annual caregiving survey. (Miss the webinar? No worries! It’s archived for you here. You also can review the survey by downloading a summary, in PDF form: Caregiving.com 2011 Survey Summary. The complete survey is available for purchase for $9.95 here. If you participated in the survey, you can receive the entire survey for free. Just send me an email with your...

Never a Moment of Rest

Update on Mom: Mom had surgery on Monday. She had a cranioplasty put in, everything went well. She is still in a little pain and very confused (we are hoping it’s just the medications). Even though she is in the hospital, it seems as caregivers we do more than if she was at home. It’s more aggravation, frustration and anger. It seems like every time I walk into that hospital my blood pressure rises. I...

Life’s Ups and Downs

Hi all, I hope that this post finds everyone well. I haven’t been on since before I went away last month. I have been wallowing in my own pity and shutting down. A lot of things went on when I came back from my cruise and I had a really hard time dealing with it. I didn’t feel like talking to anyone or blogging. My main goal was to take Mom home from the nursing home once I came back from vacation. ...

Thank You

Thank you all for being such wonderful and caring friends. I haven’t been able to get on here much, or even catch up on all the blogs posted, but I hope things calm down soon, and I can come in to say hello. Just so you know, I am thinking of everyone. (((hugs)))

One Month Free of UTIs

Hi all, This Monday marked one month that Mom has been free of UTIs. That might not sound remarkable, but it’s the longest period she has been infection-free since January. She had eight severe UTIs from January through May. The toll all those infections had taken on her body, mind, and spirit was enormous. Because of all the antibiotics, we are down to just two oral antibiotics (both very strong ones) that...

…”That Would Make Me Stop Loving Her”

Marah had a true confession last night. Something she had done that she was not proud of. As we talked about this, I could tell she was feeling relieved in telling but still worried. At the end of the conversation I said, “I love you.” She said: “Good, I was worried you wouldn’t anymore.” We continued to talk. I told her there was nothing she could do that would make me stop loving...

Join Our Happiness Project, The Second Year

Last July, we launched our Caregiving Happiness Project. Each month for one year, we committed to taking actions relating to one word: Plan, Replace, Space, Join, Resolve, Let Go, Quiet, Teach, Learn, Rejoice, Save, Say. We began our project after I read “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin. In her book, Rubin challenges herself to find greater happiness in her ordinary life. She chooses to make...

Holding Pattern

Until this morning Hubby and I have been in a holding pattern for illness and caregiving. Can’t say anything was good, can’t say anything was bad. To me, everything seems ‘normal’. It’s funny what caregivers consider ‘normal’ in our lives. Or at least what I consider ‘normal’ in mine. Especially caregiving for dementia. Lewy Body Dementia takes so many things...

Turn

Your stomach may turn. You may feel like your life has turned (upside down). And, then, comes the hard question: When will it be my turn? Sometimes, in caregiving, it can seem like you’re in line at the buffet, only to have everyone and their cousin step in front of you. You keep your place in line without ever really moving up in line. You watch as others feast and you stay stuck in a famine. Will your...

Caring for My Husband and Feeling Alone

(Editor’s Note: We welcome Deb to our site. You can read her profile here.) I’m new to this site. I’m looking for someplace that I can talk to other people who are  caregivers. I care for my husband who has had a major stroke after surgery in January 2011. He is sixty-five years, we have been married for twenty-six years. We live with my oldest daughter because she had a degree as a medical...

Hard Choices…

I had to make a hard choice today and it was also Nicole’s choice. Nicole has volunteered, once a month, in a teen program at our local zoo since she was 13 years old. Today, I had to write an email to the coordinator of the program that Nicole would have to drop out as it is just too tiring for her now. I was concerned about her having to volunteer this Saturday for its Fourth of July event from 8:30...

Anyone Want to Weigh in on the TSA’s Pat Down Search of a 95-Year-Old?

Someone shared this link with me this morning. I’ve been wishing I could take my Mom to see her remaining three siblings (one has cancer and is in a nursing home), although I’ve realized that it would create too much confusion for her. I can’t believe this policy, and it makes me not want to try the trip. I would be on the “no-fly” list for the rest of my life after I lost my cool if...

Tell Us: Can You Get Your Life Back?

Last week, our local PBS station aired an interview with Jane Gross, author a of new book detailing her experience caring for her mom called A Bittersweet Season: Caring for Our Aging Parents – and Ourselves. Jane worked at The New York Times for 28 years and began its wonderful blog called The New Old Age. The interviewer, Phil Ponce, asked Jane an interesting question during the interview. During caregiving, he...

Out Of The Box – Out Of The Parent

It recently occurred to me that part of the miscommunications my mother and I have had over the years have been due to the fact that I have a hard time separating the importance of my mother’s feelings and how she handles certain challenges or people and the importance of my own feelings and the handling of those same situations. Saturday night I took my mother out to dinner. I had certain questions that  I...

A Smiley Moment :)

My husband, Steve, has Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI). While things frequently appear normal, we’ve had blips recently to remind us they aren’t. On Tuesday, while I was fixing dinner, Steve was squirting our son with a water bottle.  After a while I took the water bottle and squirted Steve. Four hours later, after dinner and a Boy Scout meeting, when our son pointed out that something had been...

Talking the Reality of Breaking

This morning on Your Caregiving Journey, Holly, who blogs about caring for her husband, Dave, joined me for Table Talk. Holly recently took a weekend trip with girlfriends so I suggested we talk about the trip and how she leaves without taking guilt. You can listen to our show via the player, below. To help manage her time away, Holly breaks out the trip into three parts: The planning, the trip and the return. For...

Elevators

Two nights ago I came on to Caregiving.com and was so overwhelmed by the stories everyone else had that I not only couldn’t post comments to your posts—I couldn’t write either.  It seems like my whole world is turning upside down.  Then last night I wrote most of what is here, and clicked to Publish and the site said it was unavailable.  Hmmmm . . . kind of goes with the rest of what’s...

Phew! We’re Back!

Oh, my, we had a rough 36 hours! The site was hacked, which caused problems for the site beginning on Wednesday night. The good news: The hackers (darn them!) didn’t access our databases so we didn’t lose any data or content. And, most important, our user accounts were not comprised. So, we were inconvenienced (and I earned some grey hair) but we’re back up to begin where we left off on...

Potato. Table. Green.

Potato.  Table.  Green. Remember those words (there’s a quiz later!).  The countdown is over!  Robert saw his fabulous neurologist with the awesome Canadian accent today and the results are in (although so are a lot more questions).  The MRI showed no stroke (yay!!) and actually indicated no change whatsoever since his MRI of two years ago (there goes my medical career).  The “large area of...

I Wish…

I wish.. I could come home after work and once in a while be asked how my day was. I wish.. I could go out and party all night and not be worried about having to be up early the next day to take care of my mom. I wish.. I could plan to take time off without worrying about who’s going to help out at home. I wish.. I could just pick up and go. I wish.. I could make simple plans to go out to dinner without...

Question Regarding Caregiving Class

I don’t know if this should be an open question. It might be only for Denise. I am reading the Stage I handout for the class tomorrow night. I see that there’s free download form from elder industry. Even though I’m a caregiver it isn’t for a parent at this moment anyway. Does anybody know of any sites for caregivers of minor children? Thanks