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You didn’t receive a diagnosis but it sure can feel like you’ve received a jail sentence.

Sentenced by caregiving.

In what seems like a minute, caregiving has taken away your privileges: Your freedom, your flexibility, your future. And, it’s put you in what feels like the tiniest room in the world: A room full of supplies, equipment, devices and medications you never knew existed. In this tiny room, there’s no room for you. Or, so it feels.

It’s like living in a jail without any chance for early release for good behavior.

And, then, just when you think: I’m going batty behind these walls, you see a glimpse of the sun. You see hope. You see your purpose. It all clicks for you. You gain the perspective that shows you why you care. You see that the jail really is a very special holding place. And, you hold the place for your caree. Every time you bathe or feed or comfort, you hold the place.

Because, some day, your caree will move to the next place. You will be grateful to know that, in what seemed to be tiniest room in the world, you and your caree held places. You’ll see your jail was really heaven on earth.


  • Do you love our comforts? Then, you’ll love Take Comfort, Too, More Reflections of Hope for Caregivers. In Take Comfort, Too, Denise M. Brown takes 108 words—including Parade, Green, Red and Glory—and then turns each into a reflection. The reflections focus on a family caregiver’s reality, sprinkled with hope. Denise’s insights about the caregiving experience feel like a warm hug, a helpful smile and an encouraging nudge. Order here.


About Denise

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I began working with family caregivers in 1990 and launched in 1996 to help and support them. Through my blog, I share words of comfort and offer coping strategies and tips. I also write opinion pieces about recent research, community programs and media coverage of caregiving issues. I've written several caregiving books, including "The Caregiving Years, Six Stages to a Meaningful Journey," "Take Comfort, Reflections of Hope for Caregivers" and "After Caregiving Ends, A Guide to Beginning Again." You can purchase my books and schedule a coaching call with me in our store.

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One comment

  1. This was lovely, Denise. Thank you.


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