Quick Updates and Four Winners

It seems like we’ve got a lot going on. Isn’t that awesome! So, a few updates for you: 1. We’ve got four winners in our six-word story contest about your road trip wit Dad. Congrats to Kathy, G-J and Trish who won the Presto machine and Jitterbug cell phones. And, we had an anonymous donor provide a fourth prize: A road trip gift basket. Congrats to Bette, who won the basket. 2. Start brewing the...

Tell Us: Do You Like Celebrity Caregiving Stories?

Last night, we had quite a storm here in Chicago. I missed all the excitement because I was in an auditorium being bored by a panel discussing the importance of talking with aging relatives about their wishes. As I wiggled in my chair, checked my BlackBerry, fiddled with my reading glasses, I wondered: Why is this discussion so boring? It could have been so compelling because talking about aging relatives about...

Sweetness

I invested heavily in some ‘me’ time and took a 3 hr nap today. Hubby morphed into his wander mode. I woke twice during that time, once to do an auditory survey of Hubby’s shuffle and once to roll over. When I finally woke up I realized that there were some of Hubby’s candy bars on my table. He had been saving them and surprised me with them. Thanks Hubby, I love you...

Re-Use the Basic Stuff as Needed

Caregivers take different routes to this calling. Some are thrust into it suddenly, some see it coming like impending disaster, and some volunteer for it. I doubt that anybody sees all the trouble they signed up for when they took the job. Once we’re in the middle of the work, most of us see that we’ve bitten off, if not more than we can chew, more than we thought we bit off. That realization almost always...

Family Drama – Texas to New Mexico

Chuck and I met on June 17, 2001, and will be married 10 years on Dec 21, 2011. We never had a wedding, just did the justice of the peace at the courthouse. Neither set of parents could make it either, so we Renewed our Vows and had a small wedding on Saturday, June 18, 2011. My parents drove down from New Mexico, my aunt and uncle from Florida, my sister-in-law from Missouri, my mother-in-law and Chuck’s...

Communicating What’s So Hard to Communicate

This morning on Your Caregiving Journey, Anna Stookey joined me to continue our conversation about depression. We spoke about how our inability to communicate how we feel can contribute to our feelings of depression. (You can listen to our show via the player below.) Anna and I spoke about how we may have learned, growing up, to remain silent about our feelings. We also may have learned to stifle how we feel. Our...

Blurry With Focus to Follow

I’m thinking in dementia, with the blurriness and confusion a caregiver experiences along with their caree, we need to try and rest in the assurance (such a safe word) that focus and clarity will follow for us. My mother was never one to talk about her feelings (instead, silences), or about others’ feelings. Letting myself acknowledge feelings within caregiving—and other things—is a...

A Brief, Quick Father’s Day Update

I don’t much enjoy holidays anymore. Christmas, it was my wife’s favorite and one she went all out for… nope, don’t care for Christmas; Mother’s Day, even now still a bit of nightmare for my kids; Birthday’s, not so much, especially my own now that my parents no longer know me; Thanksgiving, my wife died in early Nov right before Thanksgiving.  Ok Fourth of July remains...

Update on Mom

I had mentioned in my last post that mom was scheduled to have surgery today. Well, it was cancelled. Last Monday my sister took my mom to a pre-admissions test. They did all the bloodwork, urine tests etc. The tests showed she had a Urinary Trac Infection and was put on antibiotics immediately. Well today we got to the hospital at 5 am ( I had to wake up at 3:0am to get ready ) and she was admitted. They did...

Never

When it’s a bad day and you’re in a bad way, it can feel like you live in Never Land. Life will never get better. You’ll never have what you want. You’ll never have a life. Never Land will lure you and make you feel this is where you belong. This is your life. Oh, sure, Never Land seems soo comforting in the moment. Nevers are such a wonderful way to describe how it feels. More important,...

Accountability Without Boundaries = Resentment

My mother was always one to be a bit jealous or protective of my time as I was growing up and into adulthood. I’ve written about some of those times and how she always manipulated them by giving me the “silent treatment.” As her dementia has worsened, she hasn’t seemed concerned about “my time”…actually, refreshing…until Friday and again this afternoon. Friday I...

Something I’ve Been Thinking About…

I had thought about this awhile back but when I heard G-J on Table Talk I started thinking about it again. Nicole has always wanted to see Alaska and I feel she would probably live there if it was so far away from Florida. Anyhow, there’s an organization called Make-A-Wish which grants terminally ill children a wish. I asked Nicole if she wanted to do this and she said “no.” She didn’t...

Stand Up, Dust Off, Get Back On the Lewy Body Dementia Train

SOoooo, how do you handle a ghost in the bed? I don’t know either so I just left it there. When I was a little girl I lived in NY state. The winters are cold and snowy. Ice skating is popular. In winter our long and rutted out driveway had ice in the dips. To an 8 yr old this was prime ice skating property. Bundled up and wearing my skates I spent some happy moments driveway skating. Then the unexpected...

Table Talk: Kristin

Kristin, who cares for a family friend (Mary) and was our very first CareGifters recipient, joined me this morning for Table Talk on Your Caregiving Journey. You can listen to our show via the player, below. You’ll love listening to Kristin, who shares how she became Mary’s family caregiver. Mary, most likely the victim of a traumatic childhood, had abused her children; as adults, her children could not...

Help Me Please

(Editor’s Note: Hugh joined our site yesterday; you can read his profile here. I’m publishing his blog post in hopes he will gain insights and suggestions from you. Thanks to all for sharing!) I’m a caregiver to a woman who has MS. This woman was once my wife and I was once her husband but I have now reached the point where I no longer think of myself as a husband and I no longer consider her my...

Poll: Trouble Paying for Care?

The worry about money can be make the days long and nights even longer. In this week’s poll, sponsored by Caregiving.com and eCareDiary.com, we wonder: Have you had difficulty paying for your caree’s care? Please vote and share your comments, below. Have You Ever Had Trouble Paying for Your Caree’s Care?survey software Resources Caregiving Comforts, quick listens to bring comfort; listen...

My Own Worst Enemy

Feeling the need for a little “me” time I made a trip to the hairdresser and got my hair cut. It has been more than 2 yrs since I had taken the opportunity to do that. My biggest concern in doing it was the thought,”Will Hubby get more confused as to who I am?” I decided to do it anyway and cross that bridge when I got there. Upon my return home Hubby’s first reaction was “I like...

Tips for Communicating with Dementia

On Tuesday morning, I attended a terrific presentation by Dan Kuhn, author of The Art of Dementia Care and Alzheimer’s Early Stages: First Steps for Family, Friends and Caregivers. Dan offered tips to use when communicating with an individual with dementia or Alzheimer’s. He offered a perspective on what it’s like for a caree with dementia: Imagine, Dan said, you are traveling to a foreign country...

A Second Blip in One Week

Steve was upset tonight and, unfortunately, he had to wait five hours to tell me what happened because I was tied up in back-to-back meetings.  Steve had gone to see a friend at his business.  He’s visited him before many times.  Today when he got off the freeway he turned right on the first street instead of the second.  He didn’t realize he was on the wrong street until he crossed railroad tracks.  The...

Checking Back into Life!

It feels like I’ve been gone for months but in reality I was away for only four days. I finally did what Ive been wanting to do for a while, just shut out of technology (well, except Facebook). I went away for work; we take elders on a four-day vacation away from the city. This year we went to the Illinois Resort Beach, which is by the way just beautiful and relaxing. I took personal time off to volunteer...

Fettucini Power!

It’s been another long day, though blessedly the sun has returned to remind us that summer is on the way as spring closes out.  Spent some time skimming the pool (which is meditative, I must say!) and it was a long, quiet day for Paul after the morning was done. We went to the dentist this morning, and he had the tooth pulled.  The only options the DDS offered were a) rebuild the tooth after root canal for...

Clarity

Mom has been home for 10 days now. She is doing amazingly well!  Her mobility is back. Yesterday she walked down the hallway 5 times. Her mind is clear, she’s laughing and teasing my husband. Best of all, there has been no new UTI in three weeks. That’s a record since January, when this all began. She is completely off the Celebrex now, and doesn’t seem to have increased stiffness. Her kidney...