Managing Life When Every Day Can Be Different

This morning, G-J, who cares for her husband, Steve, joined me for Table Talk on Your Caregiving Journey. You can listen to our show via the player at the bottom of the post. We intended to talk about G-J’s plan for her summer and to take a look back at the past year for her. As we began to speak about her plans for the summer, we moved into another discussion: Managing life when a illness or diagnosis can...

Listing Anchors

“So much of what is best in us is bound up in our love of family, that it remains the measure of our stability because it measures our sense of loyalty.  All other pacts of love or fear derive from it and are modeled upon it.” — Haniel Long An anchor definitely makes us feel secure, safe and grounded. When my thoughts or feelings about caregiving shift to questions, I feel like caregiving needs...

Brick by Brick

It’s been a real up and down week this week; Paul is having more pain but pushing himself to do more. I understand this because it’s one of the things we have in common . . . if you ignore it maybe it will just go away. After the little pool got set up, we began to take a greater interest in the decrepit brick patio. I did two days of strenuous weeding and then Paul started pulling out all the broken...

The Cost of Your Money Beliefs

Yesterday, on Your Caregiving Journey, Ellen Rogin, our wealthness expert, joined me to talk about our money beliefs. We may have beliefs about money we don’t even realize. And, these beliefs can hold us back. (You can listen to our show via the player, below.) Ellen shared a money belief she had: She believed her husband made the decisions about money in their family. The recognition of this belief brought...

When Did I Become the Child?

So…….ya ready for this? I am sure it will seem like I am just over reacting, but this is how I feel, or how this situation makes me feel. Apparently – I am incapable of “relaxing” or “chilling out” according to Ill Husband. I try to work on it, but it seems it is impossible? Last week I come home and already shared about the “Spontaneous” thing, well the same...

The Short Version

(Editor’s Note: Today, we welcome a new blogger, Natalie, who cares for her husband.) In October of 2009 my then 32-year-old husband had a stroke. For almost three or four years prior, his family and I observed a general decline in cognitive abilities but nothing too extreme. Well, what I mean is that he would have “episodes” where he would space out and be “off” and then be back to...

First Four Days Home

I wish I’d written this report yesterday! Mom’s first three days home from the adult family home were amazing. She was laughing, happy to be home and sharper mentally than I’ve seen her in months. Yesterday morning she woke up calling for her brother and told me that it was his 93rd birthday, and that we needed to send him flowers. It was his birthday. I called the florist, and we placed an order,...

Celebrate Every Day

The last time Lisa got food poisoning, it was New Years Eve 2010. I had insurance at the time, so we rushed her into the hospital in an ambulance and spent $14,000 in eight hours getting her re-hydrated and settled enough to hold down yogurt. It was a truly frightening day because it came so close to being her last. For the last several years, I have taken a few minutes every morning when I wake up to just listen...

2 Coffee Pot Day

Hubby had a busy night last night. Many shuffling trips to the kitchen to raid the refrigerator and of course needing all the support he can get by leaning on various noise producing things. Scooting chairs, frig doors with misc jar items in them, fully top loaded dressers with clinking things on them (UGH note to self, CLEAN OFF THE DRESSER!) the foot of the bed where MY FEET ARE! Both ways. Although this...

Changes…At All Different Speeds

It seems as though challenges in caregiving can change very quickly.  My mother had a pretty good day yesterday – a rough start, but okay after that. Today: Not so great… My mother always always carried a small pair of scissors in her purse. When I was younger they served as quite a help with stray threads on our way into church, with hard-to-open candy or toys, or in removing tags from a newly...

The Cold-Plate Supper

Sometimes Lewy Body can be funny and interesting. Mary has the version of REM sleep disorder  in which the caree acts out the dream after waking, rather than during REM. Today I returned home at 3:30 after an hour’s visit with a neighbor. Mary was resting on the couch, but had obviously been very busy. She told me that she had just returned from the store (she hasn’t driven in 2 years) with some...

Worried…

Well, yesterday I was frustrated and today I am worried… hopefully, tomorrow it will be a better emotion. I got the results of Nicole’s monthly blood work and her platelet count (this is what makes your blood clot so you don’t bleed to death from a cut) is just a hair above critically low. Her hemoglobin is also lower than it should be considering she’s cyanotic (blueness). I spoke with...

Call for Focus Group Participants

BrainFacts.org, a new project of Kavli Foundation, Gatsby Charitable Foundation, and the Society for Neuroscience (SfN), will provide extensive research on brain disease/disorders and promote brain health and wellness. The site will launch next spring. To provide input on the project, the organization will conduct in-person focus groups in Washington, D.C., on June 16, in Chicago on June 21, and in Los Angeles on...

A 15th Year Celebration

Caregiving.com turns 15 on August 3. To celebrate, we’re holding a Caregiving Art Show, which will feature the art of family caregivers and carees. Proceeds from our Caregiving Art Show will help support our CareGifters program and Caregiving.com. Here’s how it works: Any family caregiver and caree can submit photos of their art (whatever art you enjoy, including paintings, sketches, sculptures, cake...

7-Year-Old Princess

My little Princess, Amber Renee, is seven years old today! I was 21 yrs old in June 2004, and had just come home from the Air Force in Sept 2003. I didn’t know I was pregnant with our second child/first girl till January 2004. My body was still in shock from the physical demands of Basic Training even though I had always been an athlete, so the normal signs you look for with being pregnant and the changes my...

Done

You’ll have those days when you want to throw up your hands, scream “I’m Done,” and then just walk out the door, never to return. You’re done with caregiving. It could be that the day just became too much of not enough going well. It could be that the day included unhelpful comments from unsupportive family members. Or, it could be that you couldn’t get out and, wow!, did you...

Poll: Do You Get Help So You Can Take a Break?

In this week’s poll, sponsored by Caregiving.com and eCareDiary.com, we ask about whether or not you get hire (hired or volunteer) so that you can take a break from caregiving. Please vote below and share any additional thoughts in our comments section, below. Do you get help so you can take a break?customer surveys Updates Today is Liliana Day! We’re helping Liliana go back to school. You can help,...

It’s Liliana Day!

(Update: We did it! Thanks so much to all who donated. We so appreciate your generosity! I’ll make arrangements to bring a check with Liliana and share a photo with you.) Today, it’s Liliana Day! Liliana cares for her mother, who suffered a brain aneurysm in 2009. She’s also our third recipient of CareGifters, an initiative that funds caregiving solutions, one family caregiver at a time. Through...

Frustration….

I am going to really vent this morning. I am so frustrated. First, let me say how much I love my family because it may not sound like I do. ) We have to file bankruptcy because we have a couple of debts we can’t pay and haven’t for six months. I receive more than a half of dozen calls a day on both my home and cell phone but my husband isn’t home all day and doesn’t have to deal with...

What Color is Your Plate?

An interesting article that I came across. What Color is Your Plate by Max Wallack http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/08/what-color-is-your-plate.html some highlights: “Forty percent of Alzheimer’s patients don’t eat enough…” “…vision plays a role in Alzhemer’s patients reluctance to eat. This phenomena is explained by Boston University bio-psychologist Alice...

An Appointment with a Neurologist

This afternoon I took my mother for an appointment to see a neurologist close to our home.  This appointment was made back in February when my mother showed a clear step downward in cognition. I had thought about canceling, but so glad I didn’t.  I talked with Denise about this when she was here, and she talked about how nice it would be to have someone to ask questions of as well – that was a very...

Tell Us: What’s It Like for You With Family?

Caringlizi, one of our members, wrote yesterday: Dealing with my husband’s progressing brain tumor is bad enough, but I just don’t know what to do with his family.  I feel so invisible at times, bullied at others.  Not sure if I want to hide in the closet or yell. Can anybody relate? Sometimes, managing the family (yours, your caree’s) can seem like managing a regiment of complicated...