Anniversary

Today marks the two-year anniversary that my mom became ill. It was just around this time that they had told us she was bleeding in the brain and she would be transferred to a bigger hospital. I have gone through a lot of emotions today, wish I could say Happiness was one of them. I am tired of giving everything I can to make my family work, but knowing we are all broken. On the outside we all pretend we get along...

“The Re-Entry”

I have a friend who often refers to a “re-entry” when talking about returning from vacation. When Denise was here this week, I began to think of the challenges of the re-entry each evening.  We had a wonderful visit and the help I received for my mother was wonderful as well – for my mother and for me. Denise arrived on Tuesday, and she, with Greg, me and the kids were able to enjoy a...

The Eight Maxims

I read this a couple of months ago at Caring.com and jotted it down. I find myself frequently coming back to it and after doing so again tonight, thought I share how I’ve applied it. (link below) 8 Maxims of Strength and Comfort for Alzheimer’s Caregivers by Duke University social worker Lisa Gwyther. Focus on what’s left, not what’s lost. – My parents are still here.  When they...

Okay, You Asked for Photos!

Denise in particular asked about my silly little pool, so here’s a photo of it on our small brick patio. It’s 10 feet across . . . and yesterday we both managed to get in but not to sit down! It’s not hot enough outside to warrant a dip in the 65 degree pool yet but when it is, we’re ready! I’m also including two other shots . . . one of the front porch in 2007 and one...

Table Talk Live: Bette

It’s hard to believe my trip ends today; I’ll be home later this afternoon. I left Bette’s house yesterday after a wonderful visit. I loved staying with Bette and her family. Her house has a wonderful hum from kids, pets and love. I’ll let Bette tell you more about our four days together. We taped a special edition of Table Talk yesterday morning, which you can watch below. Our second take...

Interview

Just wanted to post an update on my phone interview on Friday evening regarding becoming a peer mentor for one of the medications that Nicole takes. It was 1 1/2 hours long and I was asked a lot of questions and asked a little about Nicole’s illness and story. As soon as I take the training and pass a quiz I will be an official “peer mentor”. I will be able to travel and speak (two things that...

Spontaneous in 2011

I’m a planner.  I like to plan everything I can from what’s to dinner to what we’re doing on a given day to, well, you get the idea.  One of my goals this year is to be more spontaneous.  Isn’t it funny to think I have to make a goal to be spontaneous? Normally I walk on the weekends at 6:00 AM, but my walking partner is sick so I declared it a day we could all sleep in.  Not having my usual routine,...

Mom Coming Home on Monday (Yes, Again)

Hello caregiving family, I had Mom home for an overnight visit on Monday. I think I blogged about it a bit. What I didn’t blog about was the things I found. She has several bad skin tears. She has lost a lot of weight. She has a bad rash on her bottom. Worst of all, she was severely dehydrated and was refusing to drink. What really distresses me about all of this is that I was the one that had to let the...

Garden and Pool Therapy

It does get terribly hot here in Vermont in summer.  Most of us think of the Currier and Ives prints with snow, sleighs and maple syrup – but living here is like having 4 homes (one for each season) and the view is always changing.  This is something I “missed” and felt the need to be part of as a kid, where there were (essentially) no seasons and a lot of fog. When we lived in my house in...

The Meeting

(I’m sorry I’m behind on reading all the posts.  I promise to catch up!). The post today is brought to you by the letter “C.” Care Home.  Conflict.  Communication.  Crying (ugh!).  Cautiously optimistic. New Home called me earlier this week to schedule a meeting.  Those involved in the meeting would be the Nurse, House Manager, supervisor of house manager, supervisor of the supervisor of the...

I Want to Ride My Bicycle

OK so I know this is a double post for the day. But I promise my apology for 2 in a day is probably  longer than what I want to share.Hubby had asked for a bike for weeks until I couldn’t avoid any longer. FedEx pulled up with his freedom box this evening. I assembled it in the heat, sweat pouring off my nose. Hubby sat on the stairs inside the house with the door open to watch. After I got it assembled,...

A New Chapter in my Life????

My life and the life of my family changed forever on January 22, 2010 with Nicole’s diagnosis. Prior to this, I didn’t know what my purpose was or what I was called to do. I believe that my purpose is to be an advocate and voice for Nicole and for pulmonary hypertension and congenital heart defects. One thing that I have learned in the last year is to wait to hear from God. I am so proud of myself...

Tornadoes and Floods

Is everyone else having this crazy weather?  The tornado that touched down in Springfield MA literally tore apart the house my eldest son lived in for the past two years; the water in Lake Champlain has reached a hundred-year high level and the house I own is the only dry spot (1st floor up) on the property.  Cellar and land are IN Lake Champlain. After a quasi-restorative week on the Cape, we returned home to...

Spontaneous Combustion?

I love being spontaneous! Or I used to love it. These days with Lewy Body Dementia running the show, being spontaneous raises my anxiety level. A couple of days ago Hubby decided he needed a haircut. He refused my offer to buzz it and wanted to see a professional. I  don’t blame him there. I really stink at barbering, and I know it!! So a haircut doesn’t sound so bad, does it? WRONG!! Immediately my...

A Trip to Brooklyn…

Last Thursday, I left Chicago for a road trip to Brooklyn. Penny, who cared for her mother and father, had invited me to her 55th birthday party in Brooklyn. Penny had been a member of my online support groups from about 1999 until 2004. Penny also participated in a Thursday night phone support group I created and led in 2004. Any family caregiver was welcome to call and chat for about 60 minutes every Thursday...

…And a Lunch with Laura!

While in Brooklyn for Penny’s party, I connected with Laura, who blogs about caring for her grandparents and her friend, Arthur. We met for brunch at a restaurant across the street from where I stayed. After brunch, we walked down the street to enjoy a flea market along the East River. Laura is as you would expect: Delightful, full of energy and so sweet. We shared stories of how we got to where we are today...

Invisible

Went upstairs last night after coming home from work. Husband was not in his usual spot downstairs and the kids were at their stations either coloring or making a craft. After saying hello to the kids, I go upstairs and find hubby in the bath tub, tried to initiate some type of intimacy, but he just wanted to lay there, barely opening his eyes. I just get up and go downstairs to start dinner for the kids. Later...

Happiness Project: June

We’re entering out twelve month of our Caregiving Happiness Project. In June, which closes out our first year of our project, our action word is Say. For me, I’m going to say: 1. What I want. 2. How I feel when I’m feeling good. 3. My gratitudes every day. I look forward to hearing what you’ll resolve in June; please share in our comments section, below. Would you like to be a part of our...