I have a friend who often refers to a “re-entry” when talking about returning from vacation.

When Denise was here this week, I began to think of the challenges of the re-entry each evening.  We had a wonderful visit and the help I received for my mother was wonderful as well – for my mother and for me.

Denise arrived on Tuesday, and she, with Greg, me and the kids were able to enjoy a cook-out together (my mother was at the beauty parlor). My son, Rees, told me yesterday that Denise is the only person that has come to our house and asked about him - he said: “she was interested in the things I did”.

Tuesday night Denise and I went to a movie, and on Wednesday, I was able to enjoy two of her workshops.  A Lunch and Learn, and a workshop at our local hospital.  They were wonderful and offered coping strategies for the “burnt out” caregiver.  I am hoping this can be an annual event!  Myself, along with many other caregivers, benefited.  Between workshops, we were interviewed by a local magazine regarding Caregiving.com and my caregiving story.  On Thursday, Denise and I and the kids made a trip to a Wildlife Park about an hour away.  We took a “safari” and saw buffalo, elk, and emu among other animals.  It was a wonderful day and we were able to enjoy a picnic lunch as well.

Thursday evening I was able to have a “face to face” coaching session with Denise - which was so helpful.  Our coaching calls take place on the phone, so I was excited for one of the sessions to be face to face.  As we talked, I expressed concern about “the re-entry”.  We had wonderful days (with no caregiving for me) and upon returning, I needed to adjust back to caregiving on one particular evening with a bit of  challenge in my mother’s care.

I was able to express two particular concerns regarding the re-entry to Denise:  that of tears, and that of  avoiding outings, so not to feel the pressure of re-entry.

It was a terrific session and I am so grateful.  Denise asked about the tears.

Sometimes I let tears define the day or the situation.  I really don’t want to cry…Denise talked about how it’s almost as if I judge my tears.  I was never one (prior to caregiving) to express a lot of emotion and most definitely did not show tears.  As we talked about the crying, I admitted, that after the tears, came relief – relief that helped me feel stronger at the task(s) to come.

Denise’s suggestion:  why not let the tears come?  Once I cry, I feel better – why can’t the tears be part of the release and another coping strategy in caregiving for me.  I felt so much better hearing that the tears were okay, and then I move on.

In nearly nine years of caregiving, I have not participated in the amount of activities and things for me as I have since meeting Caregiving.com almost two years ago.  There is not one obstacle or challenge or feeling that I haven’t been able to work through here with each of you and with Denise.

Friday we all had a wonderful day at Hershey Park.  We took a Trolley Ride and a tour through Hershey.  Actors (Milton Hershey’s mother, father, a factory worker and an orphan farm boy) all shared Mr. Hershey’s story with us as they hopped off and on the Trolley.  We finished our day at Fudrucker’s for dinner.

It was a great four days. The Re-entries were tough at times, but the joy and memories of those four days spur me on to continue to ask for help and enjoy time outside of our home and outside of caregiving.  I’ve been so hesitant to ask for help in the past, but through Denise’s prodding – adding hours a little at a time – this week has shown me that my mother will be okay and I’ll be so much better because of it.

So, as preparation for the summer, I will begin a journal this week (thank-you Denise for this suggestion).  Much of my mother’s routine is the same each day and I think I wrote many of the same things three or four different times…The journal will be ready and I’ll be ready for the re-entries with the hope of the next outing!  (:

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