My mother has been confused since Thursday of last week. I’ve continued to think that “tomorrow” will be better, but the confusion is here to stay…for a while anyway.
I’m very confused about vascular dementia. I had one doctor tell me that unless she has another stroke, and that if her blood pressure is maintained, the dementia will not progress. I had another doctor tell me that he is hoping she will remain as she is for at least another year. My guess is that she is experiencing some mini-strokes and it may be them causing the changes.
This afternoon she continued hollering for me. She was accusing me (over and over) of lying to her. She was very strong in her opinion and convinced that I was not telling her the truth: That she did not have her hair done today by the lady that normally does it. I finally called the salon and sure enough, the same lady was there, and had done her hair—she has done her hair every week for nearly three years. I continued to try and change the subject. She is eating now – and seems to be more calm.
I’m tired. I’m concerned. I’m worried for her and for me as this disease progresses and wonder if there will be a time where she becomes so adament with other caregivers that I won’t be able to go, to leave her.
My son, Rees, was wonderful today. He was kind and sat with me this afternoon (when he noticed I was crying). Initially I tried to hide the emotions from him, but decided it was okay.
We had a good conversation. He wonders if it is time for Nah-nah to live somewhere else. Sometimes I wonder that, too. Not now though. We can continue to work together as a family to provide the care and coverage here that is needed.
So, I don’t have many solutions today, but just needed to write. Just tired of the confusion, the explaining, the slowness…the caregiving.