Okay, We’re Back in the Ring…
Jul 10 2011 in The Unit Known As Shandi's blog by The Unit Known as Shandi
Without graphic details, Mom has been non-verbal and not eating or drinking for four days. Hospice told us that she was going. This morning, she sat up and asked for food and water. She’s looking for the dog, asked for my brother and wants to see the baby (my granddaughter, Mom’s great-granddaughter). Trying not to get my hopes up too much, but she’s an amazing woman.
I guess I’ll have to take her to the beach every day!
The Unit Known as Shandi said on July 10, 2011
This picture was taken a few weeks ago. Baby can’t be around Mom today, although we plan to wheel her hospital bed outside and hold the baby away from the bed…just so she can see her.
Denise said on July 10, 2011
Oh, I love that picture. That may be my favorite.
The human body does some miraculous things as we die, including giving us one last rally. This may be what your mom is doing. The last rally provides an opportunity for everyone to gather and share one last time.
If I might make a suggestion: I believe your mom is ready. I think she felt better about leaving once Hospice became involved because she knew you would have help and support. I’m sure you’ve done this alreay… But, just in case: If you could let her know that you’re okay, that it’s okay that she leaves, then you would truly be giving her an incredible gift.
Hope this helps.
G-J said on July 10, 2011
I was also told that it’s important to tell your loved one that it’s okay to go. It seems strange, but it doesn’t hurt to do it if it will help.
Unit Known as Shandi said on July 10, 2011
Denise and G-J,
I have told her that it’s okay, that she’ll always be with us, that I’m so proud of her but looking forward to having her have a new and healthy body. I know this may be the rally before the end. I’ve also heard that twice before this year, and Mom has not been ready to leave. She asked me today what was wrong, why she was sick, what day and time it was. She saw one brother and my sister, one granddaughter and one grandson, waved “bye-bye” to the baby (who has just learned to wave) and the baby said “bye” for the first time. I’m facing the reality of the situation, and I’m ready to let go, and I’ve told Mom that. She will go when it’s time…and until then she’ll get the best care and the most love I can possibly give to her. That’s true whether it’s tomorrow, or next year! Thank you for all the support this difficult week.
kristin said on July 10, 2011
What a beautiful picture! It’s wonderful that your mom has been surrounded by so much love at this time – all the generations of her family.
Barbara said on July 10, 2011
The last rally has been seen with very sick, terminally ill patients, as well as with less sick, elderly. Take the opportunity, whether the last rally or the beginning of a new continuing phase to her life, to renew your awareness and appreciation for every single day, and don’t take even one for granted. My mother rallied for two days, and we thought she was “out of the woods”, then she suddenly began the dying process when vomiting started, as I tucked her into bed the night of the second day. It had been a terrific day, and the sudden onset of the dying process was a shock, after two days of renewed hope and optimism. I am so very thankful for those two days, when family came to see her, and they shared old stories and photo albums and she smiled more than she had in a long time. Don’t be heartbroken, if your mom is in the “rally” and it ends abrubtly. Hopefully that won’t be the case. At least, you know that you gave her the best that you could by keeping her home, where she wanted to be. That will help you to not have regrets, later, which are sometimes hard to ward off, no matter how hard we try to be the best caregivers we can be.
Trish said on July 11, 2011
Shandi, The picture of your mom with the baby is beautiful. You did your mom such a tremendous favor by taking her to the ocean and wheeling her outside — everything you’ve done. My heart is with you. Take care.
Bette said on July 11, 2011
Hi Shandi,
What a sweet sweet picture. Your mom has a beautiful family – she is an amazing woman with an amazing family.
Thinking of you, your mom and your family today.
Dorothy Sander said on July 11, 2011
Shandi, You are giving your mother and maybe more importantly yourself a tremendous gift. Riding the waves and savoring the last days of an amazing life, one that clearly means so much to you. Thank you for sharing your heart and a precious piece of your life with your family. It reminds me a bit of my last days with my Mom ~ I could not do for her the things that you are doing and still regret it. But I sat beside her and loved her the best I could. In the end I think that’s all we can expect from ourselves. My mother hung on until the day before my father’s birthday July 4th 3 years ago. She die on the 3rd. I think she wanted to get there in time for the party. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Sharon said on July 11, 2011
You are being given some precious moments with your Mom! What a gift! She sounds like a wonderful and special woman, and so are you.