Hang in There-It’s Worth It!
We’ve been crazy busy for the past few days trying to pull together a Southern-themed Memorial service up North. Spanish moss, check. Boiled peanuts, check. Green tomato pie, check. Sunshine, not so much (but we scrambled to purchase two big canopies at a reasonable rate and get them up as there’s a chance of rain tomorrow).
Again, my family and church have just blown me away with their thoughtfulness and willingness to help. I am expecting about 200 people tomorrow, and we’ll be Skypeing the service to Mom’s siblings and our other relatives down South.
I’ve slept two nights in a row. Exhaustion, I think! But, sleep is good.
We’ve been putting together a huge photograph display the past few days. I thought it would be tough, emotionally. It really wasn’t. It was good therapy. My mom was so involved, and so loved, and it showed in each and every picture. I also had a wonderful feeling when it was done, because Mom continued to be involved and loved in these past five years since she’s needed full-time care. We continued to make memories. There was a picture of her in bed at the family reunion last year. She had 10 grandchildren and great-grandchildren piled in bed with her! That just wouldn’t have happened if she’d been in a nursing home. There was that wonderful picture of her that I posted that I took during her last month of life. She’d gotten through Round One of the C Diff (nurses were telling me she was in her last 72 hours). She bounced back, and had three wonderful days. The picture was taken on one of those days. She asked to go outside, and asked me to take the picture. She was home, she knew it, and was content.
I was not the perfect caregiver. I made mistakes. For all I did for and with Mom, I wish it had been more. But, I did my best. And that is enough.
Just thought it might be helpful to tell those of you that are still “in the trenches” what I’m feeling right now.
Good night, all, and I hope you all have a good day tomorrow. Think about us at 1:00 PST. We’ll be blowing bubbles, playing volleyball, and enjoying being together. And Mom will be with us in spirit.