Not Sleeping

Hi everybody, I’m sorry that I haven’t posted since Mom died. To say that it’s been overwhelming would be an understatement. The graveside services were Thursday the 4th. It was a beautiful sunny day, and things went as well as they could have under the circumstances. It was tough. My 7-year-old grandson sobbed in my arms through the ceremony. That was heart-breaking, and yet, I find comfort in...

Today’s Poll: What Do You Need Today?

I think sometimes caregiving can feel like a day-to-day experience. Some days, you’re doing okay. Some days, you’re at the end of your rope. I’d love to know how you’re doing today and, more important, what do you need? Please vote in our poll and share in our comments section, below. Take Our Poll

I Make Excuses

“I got lost twice on the way home from Boy Scouts.” “Did you tell me about this before?” Each time Steve says something like this, I do the same thing. I make excuses. I know my husband has a problem, but frankly, it’s still pretty easy to forget or ignore. When Steve comes home and tells me something like I mentioned above, I admit that I make excuses. I justify that anyone could drive past the on ramp...

Cooking for Caregiving – Produce Tips

Another tip from Ellie Krieger … she’s an author, Food Network chef, registered dietitian, and advocate of delicious, healthy, and easy cooking.   SHORT CUTS IN THE PRODUCE AISLE While it’s ideal to buy vegetables and fruit from the farmer’s market, just picked with dirt still clinging to them, sometimes you just need a shortcut.  The produce aisle of the supermarket is awash in products...

Quick Update

This will be a short post – Paul and I are out on Cape Cod with his parents for a few days as he continues trying to rebuild after radiation; he’s declining pretty rapidly of late. The pain patches do help a lot, but he’s not climbing out from the general weakness state.  It’s terribly sad.  His sister is coming down tomorrow for a couple of days and I’m looking forward to talking...

How is Epilepsy Treated?

I hope you don’t mind if I continue my “education” series about Robert & Epilepsy.  At Robert’s recent EEG appointment, I overheard the nurses talking about epilepsy and how it is a “forgotten disease.”  They said someone needs to shine a light on epilepsy and thought if a celebrity had a child with epilepsy it would help raise funds for research.  I don’t know about that since...

Anger…

Yesterday wasn’t a good day at all. I knew that it would be busy and I would be on the phone a lot because I had things to do after Nicole’s rheumatology appointment she had on Friday. First priority was to call Nicole’s psychiatrist to find out what the hold up is on Nicole’s medical records. I went to their office last week and signed a release of records and was going to go back and pick...

Ill Spouse was Approved

Chuck and I have been fighting since 2007 for SSD, and I got the call from the lawyer on Aug 2nd that my husband was approved. We had been denied 3 times, we were waiting to go to an appeals judge, and that was the last step in the road. Lawyer said sometimes they can push the approval before it goes to the appeals judge, and it just so happens, IS’s case was one of them. They submitted all the records from his...

Refresherating

That is what Debi’s paid caregiver’s grandson said we were doing on Friday. Friday we decided to take a short trip to the county fair. We were interested in the home-made goods. We had thought about entering some things, but decided we would check it out this year and maybe enter something next year. We had Susan (Debi’s caregiver) come a little early so she could go with us. That way Debi could...

Accepting What Is Real And Then Being Willing To Learn

When my mother was first diagnosed with vascular dementia over three years ago, I thought it was because the people (doctors) in PA didn’t know her. For sure when we returned back home to RI they would tell us that all was okay. I remember folding the doctor’s report and putting it in our desk drawer. A few months ago, at our local library, the Alzheimer’s Association offered three workshops for...

Caregiving on Vacation

We recently returned from a two-week vacation. I debated about whether or not to blog about this since I know many of you cannot take a vacation. I decided to write about the trip, and explain why we went this particular vacation and caregiving on vacation. This was a trip I had dreamed of taking for more than 20 years. My desire to go to Alaska started before I ever met Steve.  A coworker had taken his daughter...

Frustration

I think I have reached my breaking point. My life has become a living hell. I dont know what else to do except sit here and think how much better it would be if I didn’t live. I feel like I am sitting in a bottom of a ditch and unable to get up. Last night we had family friends over and my mom decided to sit there and cry. She complained about how bad we treated her and how we were apparently embarrassed of...

I’ve Been Thinking…

A PH friend of mine on facebook posted this quote yesterday, “You don’t always get answers for what happens – because sometimes the answers weren’t for you, they were lessons for someone else…you’re the messenger the Lord be with you.” I have been thinking about this ever since I saw it. I have been asking the same questions since January 2010. Why did my daughter’s...

“I’m Worried”

My mother’s confusion is here to stay. She talks about things that I struggle to untangle. This morning I was supposed “to put her out to the countryside.” This afternoon she struggled to tell me something that she needed to do—I still don’t know what she needed. She was clear for a few minutes though last night. As I walked with her from our living room to hers, she said, “Look...

Blessings and New Friendships

Bette had emailed me a few weeks ago to tell me that she had been talking with her youngest daughter, Marah, about Nicole and explaining about Nicole’s illness. She said that Marah had drawn a picture of Nicole and her but Bette didn’t know if it would hurt Nicole’s feelings that Marah had drawn her with oxygen and I said it would not and if Marah wanted to send it to her that would be fine. Bette...

Cooking for Caregiving – Freeze Ahead

Ellie Krieger is a Food Network chef, a registered dietitian, an author, and an advocate of delicious, healthy, and easy cooking.  The following tips are from her book So Easy … GET AHEAD:  COOK AND FREEZE DINNERS Whenever I make a soup, chili, or stew I make a double batch and freeze what’s left in individual portions so there is always a great meal on hand when I need it.  Knowing dinner is taken...

The Nine Miracle Steps

This morning as part of Table Talk on Your Caregiving Journey, I shared the nine steps which I believe lead to more miracles in our lives. (You can listen to the show via the player at the bottom of the post.) In developing the list, I thought about a time in my life when miracles seemed elusive and then a time when they seemed to multiple. I wondered, What’s the difference between the two times? Well, me, of...

When Was Your Last Miracle?

I recently wrote about my neighbors who made a lot of noise. Emily moved into the apartment above me on August 1, 2010. Her boyfriend, Mr. Loud, moved in soon after. Then, the (buzz) sawing started. He was building a platform they could use for their bed frame. Then, the pounding started. He was making a frame that could become their couch. Then, the hand sawing started; the couch needed end tables. Then, the tools...

In Hospital

I was at the ER on Wed evening and was admitted about 2:15 a.m. on Thursday; I have bleeding in my small intestines/ lower GI. Colonoscopy today, I have Hydronephrosis of my right kidney, and a spot on my liver that showed up on the CT Scan. My liver enzymes on my blood work are way too high. Have IV fluids and IV antibiotics because I have a UTI. My BP is very low for their liking, so they check it and my oxygen...

Friendships…

I think I learned a lesson yesterday but not sure what to call the lesson. It has to do with friends/friendship. This is a long story but I will condense it so I don’t write a novel. In 2008 through 2009 I was friends with this lady, Dawn, who was in our homeschool group. I really liked her and we seem to have a lot in common. She has three boys… twin boys the same age as Nicole and another boy who was...

Changes

This isn’t a terrible change, and fortunately it isn’t a change in Steve.  Whew.  However, Jump Start, the support group we attend, and that I frequently haven’t loved, is being cancelled due to budget changes.  This may sound awful, but I can’t help wondering if it’s a coincidence that this decision was made after people were saying they didn’t like the format and wanted...

Facing Reality After a Break

Wow, did I get behind!! I meant to post a recap of Saturday’s talk show on Sunday. Well, just for a few moments we’ll consider today to be Sunday. So, yesterday (wink), Holly, who cares for her husband, joined me for our monthly chat as part of Table Talk on Your Caregiving Journey. Last month, Holly and I talked about taking a break and really taking a break, without packing along worry. As we ended...