Find Joy in Every Day

I’ve been debating about what to write and how to write it. Should I write my latest update as a soap opera? It might read like this: When we last left our heroine, she was standing on an emotional precipice being buffeted by the wind. Our hero was shopping for a new diagnosis with the internet as his doctor. Their son was preparing to run his first cross country meet, juggling band, honors classes and AP World...

Forever Mom

I’ve come to enjoy my running dialogues with Mom. These verbal give and takes are as much about discovery and time together as they are about actual communication. They give  me some idea of where Mom is mentally and emotionally and I don’t think I’ve  ever spent as much time just talking and listening to her as I do now. Sometimes the conversations feel like treasure hunts. You never know what you’re...

What’s Your Best Bathing Tip?

Tammy, one of our Facebook fans, would love your advice. She writes: I simply cannot get my mom to take a bath, or shower, or even a sponge bath. Got any ideas? I think she feels unsteady on the bath bench. Maybe she doesn’t like water dripping down her body or on her face while I try wash her hair, even with waterless shampoo. What suggestions can you offer Tammy? What works for you? Please share in our...

Tell Us Tomorrow: What Do You Know About Dementia That the World Doesn’t?

Tomorrow, at 7:30 p.m. ET (6:30 p.m. CT, 4:30 p.m. PT), we begin a new segment on Your Caregiving Journey. We’ll be taking your calls, with your questions and comments, every-other Tuesday evening. I’ll host our 30-minute show; Bette will be manning the phone lines and monitoring our chat room. Each show, we’ll ask for your suggestions, comments or solutions. During tomorrow’s show,...

Congrats to Our Art Show Winners!

The results are in! Our winners are: 17 and Over Age Category: 1. Jan Walker, Broken Butterfly 2. Bette Scott, Sunflower 3. Steve Heins, BBQ Ages 12 to 16 Category: 1. Robert Heins, Glacier 2. Nicole Northrop, Sky 3. Rees Scott, Ezio Ages 7 to 11 Category: 1. Marah Scott and Bradley Faber (tie). If you won, check your email tomorrow for your award. Thanks so much to all who entered their art and to who visited and...

Leaving Room

Over the past several months, more lessons in caregiving continue to show themselves. I feel as though I’ve been stuck for quite some time in a pretty blah place. With the kids going to school and my mother showing continued decline, I was stuck in my own emotions and everything became about me and those emotions. For the last couple of years, my mother has been in a pretty good holding pattern, mentally...

Wanted: Dead or Alive

For the last few days sleep has been fleeting during the night for various reasons. Cool temps, crick in my neck, staying up late, Hubby’s busyness, worry that I would not wake on time for something so I watched the clock all night, sleeping with my hand curled up under my chin putting it to sleep and then at some point moving it and it wakes up (I don’t know why I started that sleep habit), etc. That...

Seasonal Change

Fall is in the air here in chilly Vermont – some of the roads lost as a result of Hurricane Irene have re-opened, but we’re still not back “in the world” as it were.  Our sense of isolation in terms of weather, geography and lack of time is palpable. This last Thursday (the 15th) Paul awakened me at 5:30 a.m. with a racing heartbeat. After a few minutes of monitoring, we decided to go to...

*This* Is My Life

Kristin, who cares for her family friend, Mary, joined me this morning for Table Talk on Your Caregiving Journey. You can listen to our show via the player, below. Kristin updated us on her caregiving situation, including the new agreement she now has with Mary’s daughter. Kristin now sees her caregiving arrangement as a long-term commitment (versus just a two-year project) and now receives a monthly stipend...

Delegate…

I have been taking the three word journaling class that Denise has been teaching. It is a wonderful class and I’m blessed by taking it. Denise makes a point of giving you words that will challenge you. She gave me this word (delegate) a couple of weeks ago. This is what I wrote in my journal. I have been thinking about this and I know what it means but I don’t seem to be very good at it. I did have an...

We’re Planning for November; Wanna Help?

Both Bette and G-J contacted me within the last week to let me know about outreach efforts and activities they’ve started to organize in their communities for National Family Caregivers Month, which happens in November. (FYI: Trish also tweeted me today that November is National Epilepsy Month.) I asked both Bette and G-J to join me this morning on Your Caregiving Journey to talk about their efforts. You can...

What Do You Think of This Advice?

An interesting article appeared today on the website of the Daily Press newspaper. Here’s the gist of the article (“Pat Robertson Says It’s Okay to Divorce Someone with Alzheimer’s Disease“): (Pat Robertson) was asked what advice a man should give to a friend who began seeing another woman after his wife started suffering from the incurable neurological disorder. The question was posed...

Tell Us: In Six Words, What’s Your Responsibility?

In caregiving, the responsibilities can be overwhelming, intimidating, never-ending. You get so used to doing it that you may lose sight of all you do. So, today, I’d love to hear your thoughts about responsibility in caregiving. How would you describe your responsibilities as a family caregiver? And, how would you describe that responsibility in just six words? Your six-word description could be something...

Being a Caregiver is Too Painful

The past few days have been hard. I saw Mom Saturday and she looked terrible. She had no color in her face and looked very weak. Mom called yesterday saying she can’t breathe again. The calls are becoming more frequent now then they ever were and I don’t want to do this anymore. It’s too hard to have painful feelings. I cried yesterday and today, wondering why I was the “chosen” one...

Snippets from a 90th Birthday…

Me: Mom it’s Dad’s birthday today, he’s 90 years old. Mom: He’d too old to go anywhere, he better just stay here. Me: Mom it’s Dad’s birthday today, he’s 90 years old. Mom: After today we’ll have another Birthday for him next week. Me: I think turning 90 once is good enough. You’re going to wear Dad out. Me: Mom it’s Dad’s birthday today, he’s...

Lewy’s Anxiety or Mine?

I sometimes wonder if the additional anxiety belongs to Hubby or if it’s mine. Is it mine, because I’m anxious to lessen Hubby’s and have thus far been unable to do? I’ve sought out advice and council from the experts (Drs) and the experienced from the trenches (other caregivers). I meet Lewy head on at times with his bullheadedness and uncooperative attitude and mine with my continuous...

Tell Us: What Part of You Got Lost?

In last week’s poll, What’s Caregiving’s Worst Side Effect?, your top answer was, “I feel like I lost myself.” I’d love for you to tell us more. For instance, do you feel like you look in the mirror and wonder what happened? Do you feel like you’ve lost your ability to enjoy what you used to? Or, do you look around and think: How did I get to where I don’t...

Overwhelmed

I am so overwhelmed this morning thinking about what I must get done or be working on actively prior to the end of the month. I had started a list on an envelope but you guessed it I can’t find the envelope… Here is my list: Nicole’s birthday is next week which really dawned on me this morning sitting on the porch waiting for my dog to do her business. She wants a turtle to use for her science...

Journal Entry

I have been taking Denise’s three word journaling class and I absolutely love it. I love to journal and did it everyday for years until my husband made a snide comment about it several, many years ago. I really want to make a conscious effort to journal every morning before my day gets started and I do struggle with this because facebook and emails are more important… I made a conscious effort this...

Happy Birthday, Dad, I Love You

I avoided all news channels this past weekend. The memorials and scenes from 9-11 were too  much for me to take in. Like everyone of age, I remember precisely where I was and what I was doing ten years ago that  fateful morning. In some ways my world  changed very little. Ten years ago I was  already on active duty and living on a military installation, and I had also already been on the ground previously in...

Hand

Oh, you need a hand in caregiving. Some days, you wish you had three hands. Other days, you just wish someone would pitch in with their hands. And, other days, you hope caregiving is not something you ever have to hand to another. And, then you have those really tough days, when the hands of time either move too slow or too fast. When hands are too few or too slow or too fast, give yourself a hand. Know you that...

Our Caregiving Art Show Is Open!

Our Caregiving Art Show is open! Visit CaregivingArtShow.com to view the artwork of family caregivers and carees. We’ll display the art from September 11 until September 17. During the art show, please vote for your top three pieces in two of our age categories. 1. View the artwork of family caregivers ages 7 through 11 here. We already have our winners for our youngest artists: Congrats to Marah Scott and...