This is the Song That Never Ends

This is the song that never ends…it just goes on and on my friend….

Ever heard this annoying little camp song?  If you ever do you’ll never get it out of your head. Well, hopefully I haven’t put it in your head now.  Doh!

I used to watch the evening news and wonder what drove some people to lose their minds and do some of the crazy things they were doing.  I guess it was during the 1990’s that the expression “going postal” became common vernacular. In the past almost 2 years we have spent endless amounts of time working with various government agencies as a result of my husband’s disability. Oddly enough some things have moved rather smoothly. However we have been jumping through hoops and playing this very annoying game with the army.

My husband is an army reservist. He joined the army in 1995 and has been active duty and a reservist ever since. He loved the military. When he had his stroke in October 2009 his commanders came to visit him in the hospital, handed me some papers to fill out and thus began this obnoxious dance. Here we are nearly two years later and seemingly still at square one. We are not seeking anything that he is not entitled to nor are we looking for a hand-out. We merely desire due process to be done and for him to be discharged properly.

The details are too boring to go into but it has left me with this feeling that we are little hamster running on a wheel going nowhere. Honestly, the worst part is the affect it has on my husband. It is so confusing for him every time he has to put on his uniform and be paraded around the base, asked questions and sent on his merry way. Then for the next few days he repeatedly asks me questions that I cannot answer. Two years of the same ol’ song and dance.

It’s just hard to believe that something that you loved so much could ultimately treat you so poorly. Makes me sad for the many soldiers out there who are being discarded and ignored. Very disappointing.

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7 Comments on "This is the Song That Never Ends"

Profile photo of Jane
Sep 9, 2011


I’m so sorry that you and your husband has to go through this.

I know the hamster feeling all too well myself. I have had many issues with government agencies and trying to get help. Like you, I don’t want a hand out and if I didn’t need the help I wouldn’t ask for it but it is hard to come by and takes so long.

It’s sad that the government/military treats those that serve the way that they do. These men and women sacrifice so much for this country.

Jane~mom to Nicole, 16 yo, VSD, PAH, Eisenmengers, EDS/BHJS

Sep 9, 2011

Natalie, Dealing with government agencies can be so difficult! It’s as if they have their own language and if you don’t say certain “key” words, they have no idea what you need or how they can help. It must be especially insulting since your husband served this country! I have navigated through many government agencies and think I have an ulcer from each one. The army is probably different but I just keep going up the chain of command (manager, supervisor, appeal process, etc.) in order to get what I need. Persistence is the key (which you definitely are showing after such an amount of time!). I wonder if these agencies just hope to wear people down so they give up? I don’t think that is the intention but it seems like it sometimes. Keep us posted; I’m always interested in these government agency stories. All the best and hang in there!

Profile photo of Denise
Sep 9, 2011

Ugh! And, what a sorry song that it! I’m so sorry for this. It seems like you should be able to concentrate on the most important priority–taking care of your family—when the bureaucracy just makes that harder!

Please keep us posted on this. And, if you figure out a way to break through the red tape, let us know that, too!

Profile photo of Kathy
Sep 9, 2011

Oh Natalie,

Hubby and I know the words to that song and the steps to that dance, even though they keep changing the steps! :(
So frustrating!
Just keep doing what you are doing.
ANYTHING you send or give them make sure you have a copy for yourself and someone must sign for it if you mail it to them.
Have you tried to get in to see your state representative to ‘red flag’ for you.
Just a thought.

Sep 9, 2011

Natalie, I am not sure if your husband qualifies for their services, but you might contact the Wounded Warrior Project ( Their goal is to help injured servicemen/women who are struggling to get services/remuneration. It is a terrible, draining battle you are going through.

Sep 12, 2011

Thanks Kristin.
We’ve actually been pursuing getting him into the Warrior Transition Unit (WTU) so that he can properly be evaluated and such. Hopefully this will happen after a nearly two year push!.