Wow

Yesterday, The New York Times published the eulogy given by Steve Jobs’ sister, Mona Simpson. Her  eulogy ended with these four sentences: Steve’s final words were: OH WOW. OH WOW. OH WOW. Kinda gives you goose bumps, doesn’t it? I was with my aunt when she died. As she died, one tear rolled down her cheek. (My aunt died before resolving rifts with one of her daughters; I’ve always thought the...

Simply, Forgive

Yesterday morning, I presented a workshop, Healing the Life-Long Family Rifts, for a local assisted living facility. (The workshop is available as a webinar; you can listen to it here.) I began the workshop by asking attendees to share the rifts they’ve experienced in their families. Mary needed little prodding to share about her rift with her brother. She had cared for her mother for 10 years. And, her list...

Do I Have to Feel Sandwiched to be Sandwiched?

Lately, it seems as though the pace of caregiving has stepped up. The change comes because of a change in the needs of my mother – and the needs have come quickly, it seems. These changes have affected everyone in the house. Dinner time last night prompted me to begin thinking differently about what being part of the sandwich generation can mean. Generally when we are all at the table together and my mother...

A Theme for You

November is National Family Caregivers Month. Each year, National Family Caregivers Association (NFCA) chooses a theme for the month. This year, the theme is “Identifying Family Caregivers!” Here’s how NFCA describes the theme and its purpose: Despite the huge role family caregivers’ play in the care of their loved ones, despite the fact that family caregivers are the only people consistently...

A Commentary: Inside The Community of Caregiving

(Editor’s Note: I am republishing this commentary, which originally appeared on Caregiving.com on March 1, 2005, as background for today’s post, “A Theme for You.” Note that, in my commentary, I refer to “care recipients”; we began using the term “caree” in 2010.) Our annual survey says, again, that only 66% of family caregivers are satisfied with services in their...

Webinar Follow-Up: How Will You End the Blame Game?

Yesterday, I led our monthly free webinar, Ending the Blame Game. I shared tips on how to end the game of blaming others or yourself for a bad day, a bad time and, at times, a bad life. (Did you miss the webinar? No worries! It’s archived here.) I’d love to know: What insight did you gain about blame during the webinar? And, how will you end the blame game? Please share in our comments section, below. Related...

Food for Thought

I have been reading this book called Handle with Care by Jodi Picoult. When I picked it up at the library I didn’t really look at what it was about etc. When I got home and I read what the book was about I wasn’t sure I could read it. There would be too many parallels with my life. Basically, it is about a little girl who has brittle bone disease. The mother sues the OBGYN for not catching it while in...

Why Forever Is Okay

This afternoon, Trish joined me on Your Caregiving Journey to discuss her book, Forever a Caregiver, our October Caregiving Book Club pick. You can listen to our discussion via the player below. Trish’s book details her childhood with a mom who suffered from severe depression and a father who lived the highs and lows of bipolar disease. It’s a story of cigarette smoke, suicide attempts and broken...

Alzheimer’s and Hospice

This morning, Claire Day, Vice President of Constituent Services for the Alzheimer’s Association Delaware Valley Chapter, joined me on Your Caregiving Journey to talk about Alzheimer’s disease and Hospice. You can listen to our show via the player below. We talked about the importance of including Hospice in your caree’s care plan as well as its benefits to you and to your caree. Medicare includes a...

Days of our Life

Thought I would share a few smiles that came our way over the last couple weeks. While talking on the phone with our youngest daughter one evening, Hubby decided to talk to me too. He saw me with the phone to my ear and even asked who I was talking to. Our daughter sent her love which I forwarded and he returned. He continued talking and asking me questions about nothing in particular until I finally told our...

Positive

Often, when I shop at Target, I struggle to find a cart that’s not tarnished with someone’s trash and whose wheels don’t bump loudly along in the store. And, so it feels sometimes in the struggle to stay positive. Our cart in life can fill up so quickly with trash—the self-doubt, the worry, the anxiety. Will this work out? Will bad luck become good luck? Will life ever feel normal? Will I...

Long-Term Care Costs Rise 4.4% or More

Costs continue to rise for those requiring long-term care in the U.S. According to the newly released 2011 MetLife Market Survey of Nursing Home, Assisted Living, Adult Day Services, and Home Care Costs, conducted by the MetLife Mature Market Institute, national average rates for a private nursing home room increased 4.4% to $239 daily or $87,235 annually in 2011. Assisted living base rates rose by 5.6% to $3,477...

Book of the Month

Wow! I am honored, thrilled and grateful to have Forever a Caregiver chosen as the October Book of the Month Club pick on caregiving.com. Denise will talk with me about the book tomorrow (Tuesday, October 25) at 12:00 p.m. PDT.  You can listen here. Forever a Caregiver is a book that took me ten years to write but was actually a lifetime in the making. (Still – 10 years? Sheesh!). Denise was one of the many...

Paul Speaks Up

The past several weeks I’ll probably always refer to as the “descent into chemo-land.” Sounds like a Jules Verne sort of title, doesn’t it? In a peculiar turn of events for my posting, I’m going to let Paul “speak for himself” here – he’d finally had enough to get angry.  The cast of characters: Dr. Ades is the specialist with whom Paul met to discuss Provenge...

Job Jar Day

My brother and his wife, with my niece, visited on Thursday evening and Friday. It was nice to visit with them. We hadn’t seen my niece in seven years; she lives in CA. I found myself thinking on Friday morning, “Wouldn’t it be nice if my brother lived closer?” My brother and I have disagreed regarding my mother’s care for many years, but somehow this visit was different. He always...

The Journey Continues….

Home safe and sound and I can happily report that my garmet bag was right where I left it, in my bedroom, fully packed. I may have left my luggage at home but I have now have a nice new suit, dress shirt, dress shoes, socks, tie, tie clip and several casual articles of clothing. An important lesson learned, when you type the words “mall” “men’s clothing” and “chicago”...

October’s Highs and Lows

October in Texas is always variable. Fall has supposedly arrived but the summer tries to hang around causing conflict. The weather is once again parallel with my life. This month has seen some serious highs and some serious lows. Just two weeks back I was at my wit’s end and yet for the past week or more we’ve been riding a wave of great joy. I’ve reflected back through the years and October seems...

I’m So Grateful

My mother was very busy (and happy) on Tuesday afternoon. She was busy organizing a function at our church. All that she needed came from her tissue box and she was planning and trying to find a way to pay the people involved. “You planned for this, mom…you have the money, you can pay them,” I assured her. Her cognitive decline continues to show itself so clearly to me. It was a good feeling to...

Anniversary…Of Sorts

Oct 18 was our anniversary. Not the wedding type, the diagnosis type. Four years ago we sat in the Veterans Hospital in the Neurologists exam room coming face to face with the official diagnosis of Probable Diffuse Lewy Body Dementia. A few months prior the Neuro Dr had suggested it could be 1 of 2 things but more time, testing and drug trial was necessary. I researched and scoured everything I could find on...

In Six Words, What’s Your Unexpected Benefit?

Last week, I posted about an article in The New York Times about caregiving’s hidden benefits. Yesterday, I co-hosted a chat on Twitter that explored these benefits. (You can view the transcript of yesterday’s chat here.) All this talk has me wondering: What do you view as your unexpected benefit of caregiving? What’s changed for the better for you because of caregiving? What’s better about...

Volunteers Needed for Alzheimer’s Clinical Trials

The number of people suffering from Alzheimer’s disease (AD) is astounding—but even more so is the number of people caring for a loved one suffering from AD.  According to the Alzheimer’s Association, more than 5 million Americans have AD and almost 11 million people are serving as their unpaid caregivers. America spends $172 billion caring for people with AD and other dementias and costs are expected to...

Update on Pulmonary Rehab

I apologize if I say something that I have already said between this site, facebook and my own blog I sometimes forget what I wrote where as I don’t write the same things on all three all the time. Thursday was Nicole’s last Phase II pulmonary rehab session. Phase II is what the insurance will pay for and it includes supervised exercise and education pertaining to lung diseases, stress, health,...