How much slack is too much slack? I had an incidence/conversation at rehab this morning that got me thinking about this. The morning didn’t start out well… I woke up an hour late so I didn’t get my wake up/quiet time. I am grateful that it was this morning instead of tomorrow morning when Nicole has to be up at 6:30 a.m. to take the PSAT at 8:00 a.m
I got Nicole up and she was almost in tears as she lay in bed and said, “I don’t want to be as busy as last week.” I know how she feels but we have to finish rehab. I must say that I yelled at her when I shouldn’t have because 15 minutes before we were getting picked up she was still in bed. She didn’t get to take all her medicine… had to change her pants again because she dripped something on them and couldn’t wear them even though it wasn’t noticeable … this is where obsessive compulsive disorder rears its ugly head.
We got to rehab and it was very busy. Nicole had just walked ahead without waiting for me once we got to the hospital so I decided to go get a cup of coffee as I still needed some. When I walked in to rehab she was in the chair in the corner. Nobody had even acknowledged her. She had a bad attitude so I took her out of the room and tried to find out what the anxiety was and she just wanted to mumble so I couldn’t understand her so I told her to go back inside. I also said that if I didn’t need to be in there because she’s a minor I wouldn’t be which I know wasn’t nice but I meant it.
This elderly man, John, has been at rehab the whole time we have been there. He is very nice and really likes Nicole. They both have PH. I told him that she wasn’t very pleasant this morning and asked if he wanted to adopt her. He said he would love to take her home. He then said to me, “You need to cut her some slack she is 17-years old and has to go through all of this.” Of course this is true … but my reply to him was that I cut her more than enough slack. Actually, sometimes I think I cut her too much slack. She just seems to want to quit and not try to fight anymore. I will not allow her to do that. She has a purpose here and while I don’t know what it is I know that it is for something great.
This is definitely food for thought.
A lot of you have asked how Nicole is doing and she seems to be doing better. I have seen this happen before when she has too much going on in life. It is hard to realize how much energy the simplest of things (like breathing) takes for Nicole. She needs much more rest and relaxation then you or I. I hope that we don’t have a repeat at the end of the week since our week this week is almost as busy as last week.
Jane ~ mom to Nicole, 17 yo, VSD, PAH, Eisenmengers, BHJS