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Bette’s 2011 Blog Party Update

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A nearby farm has been selling these sleds for the past two years...this year, I decided to treat myself to one (: Hoping for a special treat for each of you during this Holiday Season.

Hi – My name is Bette and my husband and I and our three children care for my mother at home. In 2002 she suffered a left hemisphere stroke which left her with a right side weakness; requiring a walker.

Four years ago she was diagnosed with vascular dementia. Over the last month her confusion takes up more of her days.

Our most recent struggle is her night-time anxiety. Over the last several days this has been particularly a challenge. She was admitted to the hospice program three weeks ago. They have been a wonderful support and offer help and guidance in managing her medications.

I continue to be in awe of the changes in thinking that caregiving can bring.  The bumps in the road that we experience as caregivers often move us towards directions we never would have anticipated, or thought possible.

I am learning, if I am open to it, that caregiving with support here at Caregiving.com, through Denise and other caregivers, leads toward opportunities versus sadness.

Last night my mother was so scared. She was crying, looking for those who weren’t there.

Tonight, was much better. There was even a humorous moment. I was getting her ready for bed when one of our cats walked in. She looked at him and very confidently and quietly said, “Hi, dog.” I thought, six months ago this comment in confusion would have concerned and upset me; tonight, I’m just grateful for the calmness. Caregiving has a way of doing that.

Thank you for visiting. I wish you a wonderful holiday and a very Merry Christmas and look forward to visiting each of your blogs!

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Comments

  1. Jane

    December 4, 2011

    Hi Bette:

    I can’t tell you how much I have learned from you. I hope that at some point I can have the attitude that you do. I hope that I can “loosen up” a bit and not have those feelings of resentment, guilt etc.

    You are such a blessing.

    What a nice sled. I’m glad that you were able to treat yourself.

    Hugs:o)
    Jane~mom to Nicole, 17 yo, VSD, PAH, Eisenmenger, BHJS
    “If you don’t like something change it, if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.”

  2. Kaye Swain

    December 4, 2011

    Thank you for sharing your family story and memories. I still remember the grief of learning my father was being referred to hospice, but then finding out what a sweet blessing and help they can be, coming along side us, guiding us, being there for us by phone 24/7. It’s been several years and I still remember how much we appreciated them then, and again 2 years later when my uncle went through a similar time, only in the hospice program at his care facility. And what a blessing you and your family are being to your mother during this time. It’s a gift to her AND it’s a gift and sweet legacy for your children to be setting this kind of example. Praying for all of you during this holiday season.

  3. kristin

    December 4, 2011

    Caregiving is an eye-opener, all right. You think you’re learning one thing, and discover caregiving has taught you something completely different. The whole experience is awful and wonderful at the same time, full of frustrations and epiphanies. And aside from the lessons we learn day-to-day from caregiving are those we are fortunate to learn from other caregivers like you, Bette. Thank you for sharing your ups and downs with us. You always have some nugget that makes me think.

  4. Trish

    December 4, 2011

    Bette, I’m so happy you’re participating in the Holiday Blog Party here. The only thing we need is some peppermint hot chocolate and a few holiday cookies. (oh, and then a few more!). :-)

    I learn so much from you and appreciate your openness and honesty in dealing with everything that comes your way. Absolutely love the sled, too!

  5. Denise

    December 5, 2011

    Hi Bette–I love the sled!! I’m so glad you treated yourself. And, what a nice nudge for all of us to do the same. I’m so glad you had a quieter day yesterday and perhaps a reminder that dementia does have a sense of humor? :)

    Thanks so much for all you do for us here. You are very much a reason why Roaringhouse describes the site as a caring home.

    Happy Holidays!!

  6. Angela McKnight

    December 7, 2011

    Hello Bette,
    You are a GEM. I understand what you are going through. Being a caregiver has it ups and downs, but the care that we provide is truly a blessing. I pray that peace finds your Mother and you.

    My mother passed away from a massive stroke….

    My prayers are with you and your mother. Here is a BIG hug from me to you.

    Angela
    http://www.careaboutyou10.com
    The power of caring.

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