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Home > Blogs > Caring for Two > Amy's Blog > When Will It Be Me?

When Will It Be Me?

Hey everyone, I have not been feeling well lately but can’t relax for a second. I am tired of feeling like that I hold my family together. I can’t do it my own but no one helps. I wish I could have a day or two for me. I don’t even know what they would do if I did go away. I want someone to look after me when I don’t feel well.

My dad is so sick right now. He is not even getting out of bed and Mom is having a real hard time thinking. I wish that my sisters would help. My one sister is not there at all. She doesn’t care about anyone by herself. My other one is sick so I have to help her. I like to, it is just way too much to do.

Does anyone know anything about autonomic nervous system? I am  so worried that she has like Parkinson’s or something. She is only 25. I want everyone to be okay. I would like to have a second. I don’t want to have to make so many appointments. I wish there was someway that I could go to the doctor to see why I don’t feel well. I don’t have insurance and can’t work because of having all my people.

I hope that everything goes well for my sister’s surgery on Wednesday. Hope everyone is good.

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10 comments

  1. Avatar of Denise

    Hi Amy–I am so sorry that you can’t get the time you need to get better. Have you had any luck contacting a Hospice organization in your area or searching for help at the sites I suggested? We soooo want you have the time you need and I’m hopeful there’s help in your community so you can get that time. Will you let us know?

  2. Avatar of

    Hi Amy,
    I’m so sorry. I’m glad you are reaching out however – I remember two years ago feeling so trapped in caregiving – to reach out and look for resources and help is the first step in doing something for you.

    Caregiving.com and the support offered here provides resources: enabling you to care for your family and yourself.

    Please keep us updated as you look for help in your community.

    Thinking of each of you.

  3. Hi, Amy. It is very hard to take the first step to get help when you feel overwhelmed, tired, not well, worried and trapped. Denise & Bette are right that taking that first step will help you tremendously. Even if you start with just one phone call a day, you will get the help you need.

    It might help to make a list of what needs to be done (I’m a big list person and find they help organize my thinking and help me through the tasks at hand). Then start going through the list and pretty soon you’re able to cross off some items (although, I always add to my lists so it’s never ending). :-)

    You can’t accomplish everything at once but you can accomplish one thing at a time. Good luck and keep us posted.

  4. Avatar of Jo

    I can empathize with taking on the entire family. I catch myself doing that frequently and have to really work at not taking those burdens that I don’t have to. I have enough burdens that I do have to carry. Even among the items I can’t pass on to others, there are some which require immediate attention and others which I have had to post pone for a few years (literally).

    I don’t pretend that it is easy or simple but do try to see what you can release. Keeping in mind the burdens you let go are real, they may be serious but they are just more than you can or should carry.

    Hoping you have success finding someone in your community who can spell you for a day of rest. Muched needed and definitely earned.

  5. Hi, Amy – You make me want to run right over to your house and give you a break. And I’m sure there are people in your area who would do just that if they knew your situation. Since we’ve had Hospice here, I have been able to get a break every week. So give them a call to see how they can help you. You deserve a rest, and you will get it.

  6. Avatar of Jane

    Hi Amy:

    I so know how this feels to carry the weight of the world. I also feel this same way a lot.

    I agree with the others. I am sure you can find someone to help you out. I know it can be hard but perseverance pays off.

    Hugs:o)
    Jane~mom to Nicole, 17 yo, VSD, PAH, Eisenmenger, BHJS
    “If you don’t like something change it, if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.”

  7. Hi Amy,

    Please know that you are not alone. Try to take good care of yourself to the best of your ability. Take multivitamins, get whatever exercise you can, paint your toes, read something positive, watch something funny, talk to a friend, small things can add up to something really good for you. I have been caring for my two autistic sons for most of my life and now my mother who had a stroke about 12 yrs ago. The one thing I’ve learned is if you don’t take care of yourself to some degree… you will not be in any shape to take care of anyone else. Please take care. Thoughts and prayers are with you and yours.

  8. Such great advice from all the above comments! As another multigenerational caregiver, I know how hard it can be when you have more than one crisis going on, as you do. I, too, rely on lists like crazy, plenty of vitamins (I love B complex and vitamin C in addition to the multivitamin), and non-stop prayer. And I’m praying for you right now!

  9. Avatar of Kathy

    hi Amy,

    My goodness! Watching all your plates spinning is making me tired!
    You have received so many good choices listed above so all I can add are my prayers that you find the break you need to regroup.

  10. Your situation is frustrating. Is there any way you can afford someone to look after one of them, so that you can have a little time for yourself?

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