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The weather in winter demands we receive help. We may need help shoveling our driveway or shoveling out our car. We may need help getting from one place to the next during a snow storm. We may need help because bad weather may keep us in, when we need to get out for staples.
Could caregiving be life’s long winter?
It seems so much easier to accept help during a snow storm than it does during caregiving. In caregiving, though, help is critical—in order to get out, in order to get the right care, in order to continue.
Most likely, you do have help. Except for that one thing. It could be that you hesitate to ask for help so you can get that Saturday off you need. Or, it could be that your stomach turns when you think about asking for help to get your caree to a doctor’s appointment. Or, it could be that you dread asking for help with that one part of personal care that throws you for a loop.
So, today, commit to asking for help (including from us!) for that one thing. Then, tell us about it in our comments section.
Share in our comments section for a chance for you to win a Movie Madness gift pack, which includes all you need to enjoy an at-home Movie Night. During We Break for Winter!, we’re giving away a gift pack a day. And, when you share, you’ll also be entered into a chance to win one of our grand prizes. Congrats to Francine who won yesterday’s basket for sharing about her crush on Michael Landon.
Reminder: Table Talk on Your Caregiving Journey airs tomorrow. Bette will join me at 10 a.m. ET (9 a.m. CT, 7 a.m PT). You can listen live here.
Related Articles
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- We Break for Winter: How Will You Melt? (caregiving.com)
- We Break for Winter: Where Will the Lift Drop You? (caregiving.com)
- We Break for Winter: How Will You Skate? (caregiving.com)
You are a disruptor. The delivery of health care starts with you, continues because of you, and ends with you. Let's disrupt together to make the world better for family caregivers. 
roaringmouse
I could make a long Holiday Wish List of things I need such as nursing help so I could attend a Red Cross Shelter Drill Training Day and educate on disabilities, or funds for glasses or my hubbies cushion, or my daughter’s schooling, and that’s just barely peeking in. But have long since set aside doing things like that because I gave up asking repeatedly for assistance for them and being told “you make too much” or “yes that’s sad but maybe someone else can help you”. 90% of assistance I’ve asked for has gone unanswered…so I’ve learned how to do without. But instead let me tell you how my day has started.
Yesterday was amazing! I hadn’t worked that hard in over 10+ years when I held an administrative position. I was on the phone from 9am to 6pm. I was talking to FacingDisability.com (Dana you might know this group!), State of Georgia GEMA people, Dora’s Hope (aka Choice Centered Medicaid), local emer prep committee member on a resource fair we are setting up later in the year, and a dear friend who needed his business cards updated that I initially created for him. So by the end of the day …yes while juggling home school for child and hubby’s needs, I was exhausted and throat a bit raw. But what a satisfying day it was. But there’s a looming cloud.
Today I woke up crying. Why? We have this pup (you may remember my blog “When it rains, it pours”) who has more then aged gracefully and still has some fight in her. At the beginning of the year when she was losing weight we got scared. So on a fluke I changed her food and she seemed fine. But once again she started losing weight. Yes, she still pees on the floor …but hey the girl is approximately 17 years old! The last three days I’ve been feeding her scrambled eggs. She still comes out for food, eats it “all” up and during the day doesn’t hesitate to bark for whatever reason she normally would. Last night I called the vets explained our situation and got the usual cold false compassionate response when I ask for help in the community. At least I found out what I could do when she passed on. But it’s egging at me that she still has a desire to eat!!! This morning I reached out to a dear long-time more then friend, considered family friend of mine. She used to raise and show Pyrenees dogs. It was comforting to know that she was there and could help. She agreed with me…that it was worth one more fight to see if I could help my pup, Naomi. So I’m going to keep her on a soft food diet, supplemented of course and try rinsing her mouth with light saltwater to help her gums – maybe her gums are sore. (I hate this LTD battle!)
Naomi is #3 of 25+ years of marriage, yet her lifespan has been longer then that of our Dalmatian (11) and our Beardie (#1 and 16yrs). She is part Dalmatian and part Whippet. She’s a rescue from the time frame of the 2nd Dalmatian movie and was found on the Florida Turnpike. She snuggled next to me when I was pregnant with our daughter and was my crying pillow when my husband had his accident. She also served fiercely as my husband’s first official service dog.
So, spring, summer, fall…and yes, even winter…she is my help who I always turn to. It’s my turn to help her as gracefully as I can.
The Roaring Mouse (Does someone have kleenex?)
Trish
Denise, It is difficult for me to ask for help, mainly because I think I can do it myself (and then wear myself out in the process!). I’m sorry, RoaringMouse, you’ve had such a disheartening experience when asking for help. I’m also so sorry to hear about your beautiful pup. We have several animals and, when we got them all at about the same time years ago, never thought we’d be going through so much pain of losing them so close together. We lost a gorgeous cat and then months later lost our dog who had been part of our family since the kids were little. We have a few other “elders” here but giving them as much love and care as they need. It sounds like you’re giving Naomi the same. Sending hugs to you!