How Did I Get Here?

Mar 19 2012 in by EllysGdaughter

(Editor’s Note: Today we welcome a new blogger, Elly’s Granddaughter, who blogs about caring for her grandmother. You can learn more about her by reading her profile here.)

I am Elly’s Granddaughter, the eldest of her four grandchildren (three girls and one boy). I work part-time, three-and-a-half hours a day since 1995, in our local school district as a clerical worker. I have been married 30 years to my incredibly wonderful husband!

Ten years ago we had a discussion (my husband and I) with Elly about what her later days may look like. She said that she would consider living with us rather than with the other grandchildren because we could get along easier together. I am the eldest and my children were in their teens at that time. My husband and I were content with that discussion.

As the years went on, my grandfather suffered some kind of dementia and we were able to keep him at their home for his last three weeks under Hospice Care. This was a very sweet time for me to support my grandparents. So, my grandmother, Elly, decided she was still able to live alone and wanted it that way after her husband’s passing.

My husband and I discussed the reality of her staying in her home and felt that we should consider if she needed, would we move in with her? We prayed about this idea and wondered what the timing might be. Elly began to have problems with high blood pressure a couple of years after Grandpa passed. I began taking her to regular doctor appointments, the post office, and weekly grocery shopping.

By April, 2010, at 89 years old, Elly was ready for us to move in. She was depressed, struggling with adjustments to medications and unable to be safe in her own home without assistance. We moved in with our bare necessities – into a small guest bedroom, bathroom, which has its own hallway off the living room.

Elly has her bedroom on the other side of ours with her own hallway, bathroom and it’s off the family room with her comfy chair and TV. I take care of her banking, make dinner, buy groceries, run errands, do the yard work and handle doctor visits.

A dear friend advised me in the beginning to let Elly do for herself as much as she is able and not to address her “forgetting issues” so we have lived by that motto. I have heard my grandma say to others that she appreciates us being here and how much she does need the help. Her friends, neighbors and family have all expressed relief that we are looking after Elly.

This is How I Got Here!

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