How Do I Get Help?
Apr 2 2012 in Carla's Blog by carlaschuchman
(Editor’s Note: We welcome Carla to our team of bloggers. She cares for her boyfriend and his mother; you can learn more by reading her profile here.)
I am fairly new here. I have lurked around from time to time and learned a lot. I don’t say much, but I don’t have much time. I care for my mother-in-law and have been for over five years now. She does pretty good and I have a little help two hours a day. She cannot be left alone anymore.
I also have my love of my life of 22 years, Smokey; he had a accident two years ago. He should not have made it, but thankfully he did. He is always having problems. This go around it’s his COPD. He had no problems before the accident. He didn’t smokey either. But after the accident and the lung issues he has had have put him in trouble. For over a month now we have been working with his doctors to get him better. I have done a lot of research on it, I don’t like what I read. However, I pray for a complete healing everyday! I will believe.
He can’t do much any more and that is hard on him. I work as much as possible to keep the house and car. It’s hard. Doctor appointments and making other arrangements take a lot of time.
Then there is the yard work, house work, shopping, the list goes on. Right now I have been attacking the inside of the house as much as time will allow and packing and storing tons of stuff. I just may get rid of it all. Trying to make the environment better for him to breathe in. Then there is the massive amount of yard work. Everyone is so busy, I have asked for help, advertised for help, and every time, you hear the crickets…
It’s depressing, but today is a new day. I must work for a while, must go to another appointment, then with the longer days, I will break the remaining time up between work in the studio, (paid work), phone calls I have put off again, bill paying that is late again, a little yard work, a little packing. It probably won’t go that way, something always comes up, and then many times I am so exhausted I just do nothing except what must be done.
Any advice would be appreciated!
Thanks!
Carla
roaringmouse said on April 2, 2012
Carla,
Welcome! This is an amazing Caregiving group and are the best bunch of cheerleaders one could ever have. Even though your schedule is crazy…writing a few sentences here…will always be welcome.
Don’t forget to take time to breathe!
The Roaring Mouse
Denise said on April 2, 2012
Hi Carla, So glad you’ve joined us!
It’s hard to keep up with a house and yard when times are good, but when times are rough it can feel like the house and yard are just enemies.
My suggestions would be to contact the social service agencies in your community, like Catholic Charities, United Way, Jewish Federation and Easter Seals. They may be able to suggest options for you. You also can call your local Area Agency on Aging for help; you can find your local organization here: http://eldercare.gov/Eldercare.NET/Public/Index.aspx
I also wonder if a local church could help. You also may be able to find a local Boy Scout or Girl Scout troop which may be able to help you in order to achieve a service badge.
One last thought: If you leave near a local college or university, check with the school about how you advertise to hire help around the house. College students (and high school, for that matter) are always looking for ways to earn money.
Hope this helps. Let us know how you do…
kristin said on April 2, 2012
Hi, Carla! You will find a lot of support here from this welcoming community of caregivers. You certainly have your hands full. Another resource for you might be your local ARC, which might have a crew of yard-workers who can help you out. The last two cities I lived in had these programs.
ejourneys said on April 2, 2012
Welcome, Carla! I wonder if these might help as well:
Social Service Checkup connects people with discounts and community assistance programs.
Benefits Checkup (a service of the National Council on Aging) allows people to find and enroll in federal, state, local, and private programs that help pay for prescription drugs, utility bills, meals, health care, and other needs.
If Smokey or his mother is a veteran, VA Caregiver Support, part of the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, provides support services to caregivers of veterans.
Healthcare.gov, part of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, provides information about available private insurance plans, public programs, and community services.
There’s also Time Banking (which I want to check out in more detail, myself), a community of reciprocal services.
Kudos to you for juggling so much. As Roaring Mouse says, take time to breathe. Being a part of this group has helped me in more ways than I can count.
Bette said on April 2, 2012
Hi Carla,
Welcome! I’m so glad you are able to share here. Caregiving.com is a wonderful place of understanding and problem solving.
I’m sorry for the looking – it can be frustrating to ask and ask again. I love the suggestions everyone has shared and hope you are able to have the help that you need in place soon.
I look forward to getting to know each of you. Please keep us updated on finding help.
Jan said on April 2, 2012
Welcome, Carla! Sounds like you have your hands full. But you’ve landed in an amazing place, full of resources, advice, understanding and genuine concern. Thanks for sharing your journey with us. We’re all on this trip together and we can help bear each other’s burdens.
Make yourself at home!
bridgette said on April 3, 2012
hi my mother need help with home repair. I stay with her . Due to she has alzheimers.But she need home repair service. I feel so upset my job cut my pay and my sister feel like she has all the problem as to care for my mother. she had problem with tax on her home tR that I had clear up I wrote up the power of attorty .i told her what to tell doctor about test for alzheimers. l newd a new job but newd a job that I can not work at night . but due to I live with my mother she wa not able to get help for home repair. she is 84 yeara old where can I get help for home repair in atlanta ga thank you bridgette
Denise said on April 3, 2012
Hi Bridgette–All the suggests we offered to Carla will be appropriate for you. I also would suggest calling the local chapter of your Alzheimer’s Association; you can search here: http://www.alz.org. Be sure to let us know how you do…
jay said on April 3, 2012
You should also contact your local Area Agency on Aging. They may have resources to help.
jay said on April 3, 2012
If Smokey is over 60 the Area Agency on Aging should be able to offer assistance to you. consider case management so you can let someone else do some of the housework, meal prep, etc. and you can focus your energy elsewhere. If he is a veteran, VA might have benefits available. You might also contact the Family Caregiver Program through your local Area Agency on Aging to support and assistance.
Tony Rovere said on April 3, 2012
Start with your local Office of the Aging. They will have services that are available to help such as…
Respite care, where volunteers will watch your mother-in-law and give you a well-deserved break
Transportation assistance to and from medical appointments.
Now these services aren’t available in all areas…they are based upon budgetary concerns in your area and you may have more or fewer services available.
But regardless,, this could be an invaluable source of help.
Warm Regards,
Tony Rovere
Kathy said on April 3, 2012
Hi Carla
Looks like you got lots of great suggestions so I’ll just add my WELCOME
I hope you can find some resources that will be helpful for you in your caregiving journey.
ejourneys said on April 4, 2012
I’ve just posted a bunch of resources (much more than what I’ve given above) here:
http://www.caregiving.com/groups/national-resources/
carlaschuchman said on April 4, 2012
Wow, Thank you everyone for the warm welcome. And please forgive if I don’t get back promptly, my time is stretched to say the least. I have copied all the resources everyone suggested and will go through them as time allows. I spoke with a dear lady today who is helping with my neighbor, she and two other woman are available at very reasonable costs for times that I would like to just get away and spend time with Smokey. We don’t get that anymore. I will post my journey’s notes as I can and pray that I too can encourage others here as well. God Bless You All!
Jo said on April 6, 2012
Carla,
Denise could tell you I’m always the last to post, not because I’m trying to have the last word… okay, not entirely because of that… I am your kindred, overtaxed, overstretched, overwhelmed spirit.
The other have already given you great suggestions, they always do, another reason for me not to rush to post
All I will add is an observation from your post. You made the comment about doing “nothing except what must be done.” That’s not a failure on your part. It’s prioritization, We all have extraneous stuff in our lives. Sometimes it takes extreme circumstances to get us to let go.
Welcome! Read often, post when needed.