I Need A Great Big Eraser
Apr 16 2012 in G-J's Blog by G-J
“Please let me know if there’s anything you need,” people will say. Usually I don’t know what I need or might need, but this morning I figured it out. I need a great big eraser! I don’t need a little wimpy one. I don’t need one of the ones that go on the end of a pencil or one the size that I buy to send to school with my son. I need a really big one.
The family has a wall calendar, plus each member of the family has their own calendar. Somehow I am the keeper of all the calendars. Lately I seem to spend more time taking things off the calendar and moving them than putting appointments on the calendar.
Steve’s mother has been in the hospital for almost seven weeks now, I think. She had surgery and was on a ventilator for 16 days before they installed the tracheotomy. We have cancelled appointments thinking we might need to go the hospital, only to be told not to make the trip. (“Trip” being a 45 minute drive.) We’ve discussed what things we can’t move on the calendar such as Steve’s upcoming annual assessment at the university or our son’s track meets. We’ve reviewed what we can move, which amounts to everything else. His mother’s condition, or so we’re told, changes daily. We’re not really sure if it actually changes, or just the story. For example, we went up there on Saturday. Four of us discussed funeral arrangements and taking her off life support. Last night, which was just the next day, Steve was told she isn’t on life support (she’s still on the same things she was Saturday), they can take her off what she’s on (not life, support, if you recall) any time if this is too much, and oh yeah, she might get out in 16 weeks.
I guess it’s no wonder that poor Steve isn’t feeling well today. I dropped our son off at school at 6:30, hit the grocery store, juggled the laundry and sheets, put away the groceries, had an argument with the cat, and went up stairs to tell Steve I was leaving to meet friends for coffee only to find him laying flat on the mattress (sheets were in the wash) telling me he felt sick and dizzy. All that occurred in less than an hour.
It was at that point, as I was making the tea, toast and the phone call to say I wasn’t coming, that I realized I need a great big eraser! And a bottle of white-out. I write on my calendars in pen!!
Denise said on April 16, 2012
Oh, G-J, it does all seem like everything changes from moment to moment. The inability to trust the moment (i.e., write in pen on the calendar) can be so unnerving.
Thanks for keeping us in the loop about Steve’s mom. I will continue to hope for the best.
How is Steve feeling this afternoon? Did rest seem to help?
And, you can borrow my eraser any time you need. Hang in there, friend.
Jane said on April 16, 2012
Hi G-J:
I do write with a Sharpie on the calendar in the kitchen which only has appointments but in my daily planner/calendar which has everything from Rise n’ Shine to Journaling to a friend coming over all this is written in pencil so I can just use a giant eraser.
I have several of them and like Denise you can borrow mine anytime also.
Hugs:o)
Jane ~ mom to Nicole, 17 yo, VSD, PAH, Eisenmengers (dx 1/22/10) BHJS (2/4/11)
“You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”
Bette said on April 17, 2012
Hi G-J,
I understand. The squares on my calendar have doubled in size this year…I’m sorry for the constant changing of appointments – The more needs, the more changes possible…
I hope all settles down soon for Steve’s mom. Please keep us posted.
Please take care and hoping for less white-out for you, very soon.
Trish said on April 17, 2012
G-J, What an optimist you are to write on your calendar in pen! My husband does that too and it always amazes me since I don’t dare use anything other than pencil in mine — expecting change at any time.
I make use of my eraser (and hubby even makes use of the white out) and you are more than welcome to them any time!
I’m sorry you missed your coffee date and I do hope Steve is feeling better.
ejourneys said on April 18, 2012
You can borrow my big eraser, too! (I bought big erasers by the box years ago, for carving art stamps.)
I hope things are more stable with Steve’s mother and that Steve is feeling better. The unknown is unnerving enough, but then to have it change so radically — I commend you for building in all that flexibility and hope you can reschedule your coffee date.
I keep my calendar on computer and print out monthly pages for my partner for her own use. Before I switched to Outlook I used a nice little freeware program called Rainlendar:
http://www.rainlendar.net/cms/index.php
Kathy said on April 18, 2012
G-J,
One of THOSE days huh?
You need a pencil besides an eraser. I even tell my children, “I’ll pencil you in, but plans subject to change at any time” I’m blessed to have understanding children
I feel bad that you missed your coffee but I am glad you were there with Steve and you didn’t come home to find him like that.
I believe I would be super frustrated not getting straight information about his mother.
How is he dealing with that?
Old Billy said on April 21, 2012
I never erase appointments from a calender I cross them out and note the date and time. When I mark the new apointment I mark it as rescheduled, re-resceduled. I use a lot of post-it notes on my calender too. I find these type of reminders help me know when I have to change my normally easy going demeaner to be more assertive with who ever I’m talking to on the phone.
ittibittinurse said on April 21, 2012
My take on the eraser is a little different. When I bedside nurse in the ICU or any other unit, there is an eraser board in the room. We write information on it every shift. I erase the former shift’s information unless it is relevant to what I will be doing on my shift. This has changed my perspective about not only my job, but life. Everytime I erase the board, the patient gets to start over and I get to start over with the patient. We, get to tell a story together, even if it is only for 12 hours. So, I started practicing this at home with my dad and myself with the exception of a cell phone being used as the board. Helps me focus on all the chaos as well as the mundane stuff. Probably sounds kind of corny, but thought I would share it.