It is weeks between times I come and read, listen, comment, and post. Something is always changing.
Mema, my mother-in-law, is off for her month away with my dear friends who have adopted her and take her twice a year. Gives us a little break and she really, really enjoys it.
Work has been crazy and I have had to walk away from a good paying project because my brother-in-law is having issues. Nothing new, but I just can’t take his selfish and care-less attitude toward my desire and responsibility to his mom, who he won’t help with, and his brother, who he hasn’t asked about or seen in a while, and he is at my house everyday. He lives on a boat in the river down the road and parks his stuff on my property. He won’t leave. That’s about to change. More drama I don’t need.
The biggest thing is Smokey’s illnesses. We have been to the doctors two and three times a week for tests, talks, blood work. The latest was the CT Scan that confirms another fracture in the thoracic area that was broken before and the possibility of cancer. Yes, I said that dreaded C word. Nothing is confirmed on that and we must talk with surgeons, more doctors, and have more tests done hopefully this week.
He is eating but he has lost more weight. He weighs the same as when he first came home from the hospital. He is having other things going on, like, out of nowhere, he says something and then in a bit of confusion he looks at me and asks why did I say that? I asked him if he was hearing someone talk to him; he said yes, sometimes. Then there is the jerks when he sleeps, some wake him up startled. And then the bloating that has just started after he eats or drinks and he feels over full and sick.
He is scared, and I am scared. His doctors don’t see the need to admit him yet, but I just don’t know. I feel so helpless. I have read so many reports online about everything I possibly can, just to feel like I know a little more than I do, but…I really have no clue.
Thinking about buying that nutribullet and trying more superfoods.
Believe it or not I am not really that stressed out, and I know I should not fear, especially since I do believe it is all in God’s hands. But I can’t help this nasty feeling being scared he is really, really sick and this is it.
Please keep him in your prayers.