May 26 2012 in Elly's Granddaughter by EllysGdaughter
We’ve seen some decline in memory the last few months resulting in extra books being ordered online, not paying off the credit card bill and not understanding informational notices from the utilities. After mulling over some of these events in the last couple of months, I decided to start by visiting with Elly’s primary care doctor. I scheduled a consultation without Elly, of course, and my plan is to find out a couple of things.
First of all, I want Dr. B to be on the same page as us, the family. I haven’t ever been sure that he really is. We want Elly to live out the rest of her days without drama and extra life saving measures. We have an issue with an RX. One of Elly’s meds is being yanked from the market, Valturna. We like Valturna and with the other BP meds it has leveled out her pressures. I am hoping to get it refilled just before it is removed. She hasn’t had any problems with it or her heart so I want to check that with Dr. B.
I want to also discuss with Dr. B Elly’s memory issues. I wonder if we should do some kind of test that would present to Elly that it is reasonable for us to begin taking over her finances and RX refills. Whenever she has forgotten something, she gives an excuse. She tells me that sometimes she decides something isn’t important enough to remember – I have to laugh with that one. Other times, she’s hunting around for whatever’s missing or doesn’t realize she’s ordered the same book or Prescription twice.
Nothing is life threatening, but may become a tangled mess if not monitored. Elly is logical like me and we are the kind of folks who like to know why and how come. So, I am thinking that showing her that her mind is slowing down and not allowing her to make “perfect” decisions will help justify our actions. We do step lightly so that we aren’t pushing “her way” out the door most of the time. There are many things that we allow her to do that she just does because it is a habit or how she has always done it. I get asked about locking the doors every night and admonished as if I’ve never locked up a house before. I wish she would relax and trust us with those things that she struggles with.
My grandma is in much better shape than some folks out there and I truly am grateful that my kids have experienced my wonderful grandma. My grandma has faded quite a bit and tries hard to keep up the same attitudes and graciousness she has imparted to us in earlier years but even that has faded. I am really okay with this process.
We need to move on to the next steps in her care that will keep her safe and us sane. Even after two years I still wonder how much I should nag her about using her cane – she is so vulnerable to falling without it and forgets to use it to go down the steps and out to the garage. Should I remind her to pick up her feet because the few rugs she insists on having by the counters are serious trip hazards? If she falls, we can just deal with it, it is her life after all and she says she accepts that it will be her fault. When she’s grumpy her words are cutting. I may need to get thicker skin or an extra jacket to protect the little granddaughter within me.
We’ll see how Dr. B responds on Thursday to our little chat, until then I continue to bring these issues to my heavenly Father.