We Break to Disrupt Our Life

We’re continuing our campaign to disrupt today as we kick off with a special week of activities. This week, we’ll break to disrupt our life, our day, another family caregiver’s day and our community.

Today, we’re breaking to disrupt our life with forgiveness.

I think we all carry a regret or a shame. Maybe it’s not something we think about every day or every week, but once in awhile, the memory comes up. And, we can feel that memory begin to control who we are. The memory haunts, belittles, controls. It’s awful.

So, today, let’s forgive ourselves for what we we wish we would have done differently or better or not at all. Let’s disrupt our lives by being to kind to ourselves, by realizing we’re doing the best we can and by letting a second chance, rather than a past regret, rule our day.

Here’s mine: I’m going to forgive myself for the path of my life, which I’m doing the best to follow but sometimes wonder how I got to where I am. And, often, where I am seems to simply be revisiting where I was. So, I want to forgive myself for what hasn’t worked in my life, for having to make difficult adjustments in order to be able to keep going, and for the hopes I have which have yet to materialize. Because I forgive myself, I can be in myself in the world and, most important, I can be in my life without apologies.

So, what will you forgive yourself for today? Please share in our comments section, below, for a chance to win our daily prize: A disrupt gift pack featuring our Disrupt t-shirt.

Today, let’s let forgiveness change our life.

Reminders

  • Be sure to share what caregiving is like for you in our annual family caregiver survey. Take our survey here. Please ask other family caregivers you know to complete the survey, too. (Thank you!!)
  • Our next free webinar is Wednesday at Noon ET (11 a.m. CT, 9 a.m PT). I’ll help you tell your caregiving story. Register here.

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Avatar of Denise

About Denise Brown

I began working with family caregivers in 1990 and launched CareGiving.com in 1996 to help and support them. Through my blog, I share words of comfort and offer coping strategies and tips. I also write opinion pieces about recent research, community programs and media coverage of caregiving issues. I've written several caregiving books, including "The Caregiving Years, Six Stages to a Meaningful Journey," "Take Comfort, Reflections of Hope for Caregivers" and "After Caregiving Ends, A Guide to Beginning Again." You can purchase my books and schedule a coaching call with me in our store.

5 thoughts on “We Break to Disrupt Our Life

  1. G-J

    I’m going to forgive myself for the times I put my foot in my mouth. At times I beat myself up over something I said even though I’m usually the only one it bothers. I need to forgive myself and move on rather than being stuck in regret.

    Reply
  2. Avatar of ChrisChris

    I am going to forgive myself for yelling at an insensitive and rude customer service individual on Saturday. Completely out of character for me to lose my temper, I was unable to let the experience go all weekend. Forgiving self is the first road to happiness. (thanks for that reminder)

    Reply
    • G-J

      Chris, that’s exactly the same kind of thing that I experience! When I do something like that, I just can’t let it go, which makes it even worse!

      Hope you are on the road to forgiveness. Again, thank you for the waffle information! :)

      Reply
  3. G-J

    Denise, thank you so much for the prize. Something happened Monday which made this feel like I had earned this as an award for making huge progress in my life. You see, generally if I’m made a mistake along the “done something stupid” lines, I would be myself up, telling myself I was horrible, stupid, and other unkind things.

    Yesterday something happened that was frankly, pretty big. We went to a Memorial Day service at a large cemetery. I had put on my prescription sunglasses before leaving the house, and as I always do, put my prescription glasses in their case in my purse. When we returned home, they were nowhere to be found. The three of us tore apart the car, I dumped out my purse and a bag we’d been given at the cemetery, and we looked all over the house.

    I have an older pair of glasses for emergencies, so I got those out, called the cemetery’s lost and found department and explained the situation. After lunch, our son and I went back and retraced the steps Steve and I were taken. I was glad we hadn’t walked around more! The glass case was nowhere to be found. But the best news is that for a change, I didn’t beat myself up! I was able to realize that these things happen, it isn’t the end of the world, and they are just glasses that can be replaced. I did feel badly about it, but that’s okay.

    Last summer in Alaska, our son lost his wallet on a train and didn’t have his boarding card to get back on the ship. A new boarding card was issued, and when we returned home, there was a phone call that the wallet had been found and was being sent to us. I was telling our son that maybe the same thing will happen to my glasses, when I stopped and asked him if I was kind to him when this happened last summer. I was relieved that I was!

    So, thank you for not only a prize, but for something that feels like an award for improvement! :)

    Reply
  4. Avatar of ejourneysejourneys

    Congratulations, G-J! And congratulations for being at peace with your son’s misplaced wallet and with your lost sunglasses — for taking that side-step into calm.

    Your story reminds me of a time back in the 80s when I left my wallet at my neighborhood bank — with almost all my money and all my ID — and didn’t realize it until I had taken the train from Boston to NY. Fortunately, I also had my return ticket with me and a friend was putting me up. And I still took a day trip solo to Poughkeepsie, a place I had never been to before, for a writing project that never got off the ground.

    Rather than panic (my normal reaction), I was in a kind of calm Twilight Zone — walking completely unfamiliar streets, with no way for anyone to tell who I was. It was immensely liberating.

    And boy, was I relieved when I called the bank first thing the next business day and learned they had my wallet safe and sound!

    I need to forgive myself for all the times I have punished myself. For all the times I have not forgiven myself. I need to forgive myself for all the times I have been afraid, because those are the times I treat myself the worst. I believe I am getting better at this, but I still have a long way to go.

    Reply

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