What’s the “Stuff” Caregivers Say?
May 1 2012 in Denise's Blog, Tell Us by Denise
A video went viral earlier this year which featured “sh–” New Yorker say. (You can watch it here.) The video features tongue-in-cheek clips of two New Yorkers saying, ““I want a dog, but it wouldn’t be fair,” “I read that in the New Yorker,” “Oh, I don’t own a TV.” The video is part of a You Tube phenomenon featuring, well, “sh–” people say.
Stav Birnbaum of Visiting Nurse Service of New York (I connected with Stav through Twitter) suggested we put together a video featuring stuff family caregivers say. So, we’d love to know the phrases or comments you find yourself saying over and over. To help, I’ve come up with a few places where you may find yourself repeating the same comment:
- What do you typically say in a waiting room after waiting too long?
- What do you say when your head is in the dryer for the 10th time in one day?
- What do you say to the pharmacist?
- What do you say when you meet another family caregiver?
- What do you say when you run out of incontinence supplies?
- What do you say when you’re in a hurry and your caree isn’t?
- What do you say when you haven’t had a chance to change out of your pajamas?
Share the stuff that family caregivers say in our comments section, below. I’ll keep you posted on the video.
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ejourneys said on May 2, 2012
I’m okay.
No, really, I’m okay.
I’m hanging in there. How about you?
(To health care professionals)
Did you get the letter from Dr. X?
I have a copy.
Yes, you can keep the copy.
Could we get a copy of your notes?
How soon can we get a copy?
Yes, I sent this to you.
Yes, I called your office about this.
No, we haven’t heard back.
Yes, here’s my receipt.
Yes, here’s our health insurance statement.
Did you even look at these records?
Filling out the forms is going to take a bit more time.
We have a list of questions.
Yes, we’ve tried that.
Yes, we’ve tried that, too.
I can give you that report. I have it right here in my tote bag.
(To caree)
Have you had enough to eat?
Let’s talk about this after you’ve eaten.
Did you get enough sleep?
Let’s talk about this after you’ve slept.
Let’s talk about this after I’ve slept/eaten.
Have you had enough water?
No, it’s day time/night time
No, it’s Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday/etc.
Yes, you went to sleep at [time].
Okay.
Okay.
I’m not sure they’re doing that deliberately.
It might just be someone delivering a pizza.
I could be wrong, but how about we just monitor for now?
Okay.
How are you feeling?
How about the temperature? Are you too hot/too cold?
I’m looking up the humidity now.
I can’t see my monitor through your head.
Yes, it’s windy outside. That could be it.
Okay, I’ll turn off the A/C while we talk, so the fan doesn’t blow.
Okay, I’ll turn the light around. Is this angle good?
How about now?
Yes, I’ll wait for you to get more food.
Sure, I’ll wait for you to write it down.
No, we have plenty of scrap paper.
Okay, you can look through my recycle can.
Okay.
That’s very cool you found a new way to stretch!
Yes, I think your posture looks good now.
Thank you for getting rid of all those used tea bags.
No, I don’t see anything unusual. What are you feeling there?
So, now you think it’s [theory 2] and not [theory 1]?
I don’t know. I’m not a doctor.
We can ask.
We can call.
Yes, I read your link to PubMed.
It could be that.
Okay.
Sure, it could be [theory 3].
If you’re tensing up, we can stop now and continue this later.
Share a hug?
I can tell you’ve been working really hard.
I’m proud of you.
What can I carry?
Here, I can take that.
Okay.
Do you need to go back to the house?
Do you need me to stop somewhere?
Do you want to come with me or wait in the car?
What do you need from the car?
I can ask for a blanket.
Do you want me to drop you off?
Do you want to take your jacket?
Yes, I did see your hat in the car.
Buckle up.
Yeah, it’s tricky that way.
No, I haven’t seen [lost object].
Didn’t you put that [lost object] over [location]?
I saw it there yesterday.
Did you attach one of your orange ribbons to it?
Have you looked under [various piles]?
I’ll let you know if I see it.
No, it’s not in here.
It’ll turn up.
I’m sure it’s in the house somewhere.
It’s okay.
Do you want me to take this to the car?
I’ll take this to the car.
We’re leaving in about a half hour/20 minutes/10 minutes/5 minutes.
We have to leave now.
I’m going to call and let them know we’re running late.
I’d really rather not have that brought into the house. How about we leave it on the porch?
carlaschuchman said on May 3, 2012
I have about wet my pants reading your reply. So very true! And so very funny. Only caregivers would understand! Thank you for the big smile on my face and I will post some of my own!
Gary said on July 13, 2012
Great topic post! Wow, where do I start?
[To care recipient Mom "Dottie":]
“Mum, how am I interrupting you when I am still trying to answer the question you asked me??! ;-o”
“Where is the 2012 statement? No, I need the 2012, not the 2007 statement….arghhhhhhhhhh!” lol
“I know, Mum… I know, I know, I know… Yes, yes, yes………!”
“Why did you just stop taking that pill? Did you let your doctor tell you that you decided to stop taking it?”
“Why didn’t you let me know about that?”
“You didn’t let the doctor know about that symptom or accident”? OK, I’m going to contact her and let her know, if you won’t!”
“No, I hadn’t gotten your voicemail message yet. I was trying to maybe disconnect from work and chores for a few minutes, so I can make something to eat and do some laundry.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I understand.”
“I love you and am glad to be helping you, too.”
“I’m sorry.”
carlaschuchman said on May 3, 2012
Do you have your hearing aids in?
DO YOU HAVE YOUR HEARING …..nevermind, I’ll get them.
Have you had enough to eat?
NO sweetie, you can have cake, your sugar is up.
Did you sneak a sweet?
Don’t push the walker so far in front of you!
Are you ready?
Have you used the bathroom?
Do you need to go?
Let’s go anyway, I will go with you.
What? You are out of briefs already, I just bought that pack 2 days ago?
You are wet, lets go change.
What are you looking for?
Why are you looking at me that way? What? Then why didn’t you just ask!
No, I am not a mind reader, although this would be a good time to have that gift!
Are you hungry?
Are you hungry now?
Why didn’t you ask me to fix you something, I asked you 3….nevermind, I’ll get it.
You answered the phone? Who was it?
You got everything? Good, sleep well, love you, goodnite.
Old Billy said on May 3, 2012
• What do you typically say in a waiting room after waiting too long?
Do you have my mothers file? (Front cover in Dr’s hand clearly written in large print “PATEINT DOES NOT WAIT!”) Should we reschedule this appointment?
• What do you say when your head is in the dryer for the 10th time in one day?
Why doesn’t the gas in this oven go on?
• What do you say to the pharmacist?
Is that the best price?
• What do you say when you meet another family caregiver?
Oh, you too huh? Can I give you hand?
• What do you say when you run out of incontinence supplies?
Hold this urinal between your legs until I get back from the store.
• What do you say when you’re in a hurry and your caree isn’t?
Should we reschedule the appointment?
• What do you say when you haven’t had a chance to change out of your pajamas?
Pajamas? Where did these come from?
Jan said on May 3, 2012
EJ, I think you covered all of mine! But maybe I can still squeeze out a few…
Please eat something besides cake for lunch, you need protein.
Remember to drink your water.
I can’t hear you, can you turn down the TV?
I SAID I CAN’T HEAR YOU. CAN YOU TURN DOWN THE TV?
I’m not yelling at you. You said you couldn’t hear me.
If you’d get a hearing aid, you might be surprised at how much it could help.
Let me get you some more water.
Would you like to go anywhere today to get out of the house?
Is there anything I can pick up for you while I’m out?
No, when I talk to your doctor privately, I’m not “having a gossip session behind your back.”
Drink some more water, Mom. The doctor doesn’t want you to get dehydrated.
Would you like some help with that?
What would make you happy today?
No thanks, I think you should eat your Meals on Wheels lunch, not me.
Yes, I did tell you about tomorrow’s doctor appointment, when I wrote it on your calendar.
Whatever you say, Mom.
carlaschuchman said on May 9, 2012
;0)
Morninglory said on July 13, 2012
I laughed so much at the sayings because we really are all “in the same boat”. Here are a few more.
Daddy, it is too hot for a 90 year old to pick figs in the middle of the day.
You are red hot. You stayed out in the heat too long. Let me get you a cool cloth and the fan.
Did you check your blood sugar? No, but I know it’s down. Just give me some milk with a couple spoons of sugar in it.
Maybe we should get you a walker with bigger wheels.
Daddy, did you forget about what happens when you drive the golf cart over the dead trees.
Oh No! He broke another wench cable.
Honey, come home. Daddy has the four wheeler stuck in the pond and he is trying to get it out with the golf cart.
What do you mean? The cook don’t know how to cook!
You ought to know, she opens the oven so much that the food can’t get done.” “She should try eating her own cooking wearing dentures.”
Mamma, let me get that for you.
Oops, you forgot to take the oxygen tubing off before you jumped up and now your nose is gonna be sore.
Everybody is trying to tell me what to do and I’ve been telling myself for 90 years.
When are you going to the store again?
I love you mamma. I love you daddy.