Successful Meeting with Doctor
Jun 4 2012 in Elly's Granddaughter by EllysGdaughter
I was pleasantly surprised with my visit to the doctor on behalf of Elly. The receptionist asked if I had medical directive, which I did, and proceeded to do the paperwork to bill her insurance. The nurse asked about Elly and then check to make sure I had the medical directive paperwork and made a copy for their files.
The doctor and I were able to discuss the medication switch that is coming up because of the drug coming off the market in July. I was clear about how we didn’t want to deal with medications with side effects that would diminish Elly’s quality of life but would rather forego and allow her decide her comfort level of aging. The new medication he prescribed (and gave samples for) has no other side effect than the possible diarrhea.
I trudged forward with the talk about Elly’s diminishing mental functions and whether a test could be done. I explained that Elly doesn’t accept some of the caregiving that we feel is appropriate and wanted some justification to our taking away her checkbook, credit card and prescription responsibilities. He kindly explained that with depression and her medication side effects, that kind of testing would be clouded. He affirmed and confirmed that we should go ahead and take those responsibilities from her. It’s very appropriate timing in his estimation.
He named off behaviors that we are seeing which told me that he is aware of the issues of the elderly and also that my Grandma’s facade didn’t deter him from seeing what she was hiding in her visits with him. I was quite taken aback. I asked doctor about the blood tests that come with the medication change and that her kidney doctor had ordered labs also before our next visit, so could we coincide the switch and do the labs at the same time. He was very agreeable, said that normally he would do labs every three months but could do six months as per my request to be less invasive.
I then asked doctor about Hospice and timing for it. He said he would be ready at any time to refer to Hospice and that we could just let him know when. Hospice would determine whether their services were needed for six months or longer but he would have no problem referring to them. I then asked for a timeline in this aging process and he was pretty certain Grandma would continue her downward turn with diminishing kidney function and dementia unless an event would take her sooner, we may expect two years more.
We know Elly is so very tired and doesn’t like losing control. I am not surprised with the estimate. He was very kind and spoke honestly. We know that we can count on him to walk us through and I am ready to transition away from the kidney doctor at this point as long as Elly’s blood pressure stays stable through the new medication transition.
My uncle, her son, will be coming in two weeks for a meeting about helping Elly to understand that we are going to be more responsible for her daily affairs, financially and with the prescriptions. We will continue to pray over this meeting and help her ease into this next phase of caregiving. I am so grateful for my uncle, his wife and my sister who will be involved in this together.
My Awesome Hubby works hard to keep me from going crazy and letting me know that I always have a choice to continue or not.
Thanks for all of your encouragement too. This has been a great place for me process but also to pray for all of you who are going through so many different difficulties. Here you can understand that being in community is the right place to be.
Trish said on June 4, 2012
EG, How wonderful you found a great doctor! He sounds like a true gem in that he listens to you, talks with you honestly and can see the whole (and real) picture. You sound like you’re in a great place emotionally and have the help and support you need. You’re doing a terrific job!
EllysGdaughter said on June 4, 2012
Thank You Trish, I really was surprised since I hadn’t seen that from him over the last several years!
Old Billy said on June 4, 2012
Yes it is amazing the change in how the Doctors and their staff treat you demonstrate to them you’re involved and prepared.
Old Billy said on June 4, 2012
Good job! As a Caregiver it’s been my experience when dealing with Doctors they aren’t great at volunteering information and don’t answer questions you don’t ask. That’s why I’m always writing down questions between and during appointments.
EllysGdaughter said on June 4, 2012
Thanks Old Billy, I have been absorbing how you have been vigilant and prepared as well as the others! My Awesome Hubby prompted me to write down my questions too before I went. It was easier to ask the questions without my Grandma there also!!
Kathy said on June 4, 2012
This is great news!
It’s a wonderful feeling when you have a Dr that will work with you for the best interest of our loved ones.
And even a better boost when family will step in as a single unit to make difficult decisions and transitions easier.
Denise said on June 5, 2012
Hi EG–I think this is awesome!! You are doing a great job. I love how thoughtful, prepared and wise you are. Just terrific.
I’ll be anxious to hear how it goes with your uncle’s visit.
How’s everything with your son?
EllysGdaughter said on June 5, 2012
I am still anxious about my uncle’s visit but I am taking one step at a time. As for my son, Tall Child, thank you for asking. . . he’s got a job now and studying for the GRE exam before he starts his Masters. He still lives in the living room, sleeping on the couch. I am fielding questions from Grandma about how he takes care of his stuff. . . but she hasn’t rearranged anything of his lately. She still goes in at 5:30am to get the paper and then later on to pull up the shades (after he gets up)! Tall Child isn’t home very much and creates talk around meal times from Grandma about whether he will be joining us or not
I think he is satisfied with the arrangement. I enjoy his hugs every day!!!
ejourneys said on June 9, 2012
EG, I am so happy you have a doctor who is in your corner! Good for you for being prepared with your questions and information.
My only suggestion would be to get his blessing in writing for your taking control of Elly’s checkbook, credit card, and prescription. Every time we see a specialist, I ask to have the doctor’s notes sent to us. In this case, especially if you are not Elly’s legal guardian, I think it may help to have written justification to back you up.