Jun 4 2012 in Elly's Granddaughter by EllysGdaughter
I was pleasantly surprised with my visit to the doctor on behalf of Elly. The receptionist asked if I had medical directive, which I did, and proceeded to do the paperwork to bill her insurance. The nurse asked about Elly and then check to make sure I had the medical directive paperwork and made a copy for their files.
The doctor and I were able to discuss the medication switch that is coming up because of the drug coming off the market in July. I was clear about how we didn’t want to deal with medications with side effects that would diminish Elly’s quality of life but would rather forego and allow her decide her comfort level of aging. The new medication he prescribed (and gave samples for) has no other side effect than the possible diarrhea.
I trudged forward with the talk about Elly’s diminishing mental functions and whether a test could be done. I explained that Elly doesn’t accept some of the caregiving that we feel is appropriate and wanted some justification to our taking away her checkbook, credit card and prescription responsibilities. He kindly explained that with depression and her medication side effects, that kind of testing would be clouded. He affirmed and confirmed that we should go ahead and take those responsibilities from her. It’s very appropriate timing in his estimation.
He named off behaviors that we are seeing which told me that he is aware of the issues of the elderly and also that my Grandma’s facade didn’t deter him from seeing what she was hiding in her visits with him. I was quite taken aback. I asked doctor about the blood tests that come with the medication change and that her kidney doctor had ordered labs also before our next visit, so could we coincide the switch and do the labs at the same time. He was very agreeable, said that normally he would do labs every three months but could do six months as per my request to be less invasive.
I then asked doctor about Hospice and timing for it. He said he would be ready at any time to refer to Hospice and that we could just let him know when. Hospice would determine whether their services were needed for six months or longer but he would have no problem referring to them. I then asked for a timeline in this aging process and he was pretty certain Grandma would continue her downward turn with diminishing kidney function and dementia unless an event would take her sooner, we may expect two years more.
We know Elly is so very tired and doesn’t like losing control. I am not surprised with the estimate. He was very kind and spoke honestly. We know that we can count on him to walk us through and I am ready to transition away from the kidney doctor at this point as long as Elly’s blood pressure stays stable through the new medication transition.
My uncle, her son, will be coming in two weeks for a meeting about helping Elly to understand that we are going to be more responsible for her daily affairs, financially and with the prescriptions. We will continue to pray over this meeting and help her ease into this next phase of caregiving. I am so grateful for my uncle, his wife and my sister who will be involved in this together.
My Awesome Hubby works hard to keep me from going crazy and letting me know that I always have a choice to continue or not.
Thanks for all of your encouragement too. This has been a great place for me process but also to pray for all of you who are going through so many different difficulties. Here you can understand that being in community is the right place to be.