Mema made it home after her five-week stay upstate with my friends.Thank God for them. It has taken a bit of adjustment again to get back into the way we balance everything, but she is doing well!

We, Smokey and I, have just spent six days in the hospital again. I came home early from work one day, thankfully it began to rain so I had to knock off, to Smokey looking very bad and running a fever. He did not want to go to the hospital, but in less than one hour his fever went from 100, to 101.5, and by the time we were at the hospital, 103.6. He was gray and about to pass out. Within six hours, they had him pumped up with steroids, antibiotics and had chest x-rays done. No sign of pneumonia, but diagnosed as bronchial aspiration.

We stayed six days. He is much better now. On the second day the doctors took my aside to talk. They feel this was the best he was going to get and it was just going to go downhill. His body was wanted to shut down. I questioned them, all the tests they have run have shown nothing! Everything seemed okay, except of course this COPD and the fracture in his back. They will not fix his back because he just isn’t healthy enough and they don’t think he would make it or recover well. That leads to a lot of lying around, little movement, which is causing all the rest of everything to happen. Okay, so get me a nutritionist, get me some in home health therapy, get me some information how to make my home better….do something other than give up!

I had the talk with Smokey, are you ready to give up? Is that what is happening? Or do you want to fight through? It is so hard on him, he is in so much pain. Home health starts today, the nutritionist is being set up, and I meet with the Palliative Care group who taught me more in a few hours than the last six months I’ve been asking doctors! I am going to a meeting they are having at the end of the month.

I have ripped up the carpet, got rid of all down feather pillows and bedding, my heat and air guy is so kind to come by and give the units a good cleaning, I have bought with my last bit of savings, again, hepa filters, turned off the ceiling fans and got little face fans, posted notes to help remind us of other things…there is more, but I can’t pay for them yet.

This trip to the hospital has cost me the job I was doing, having to hire others to get it done. I have now moved back into the “past due” department on many very important debts, again. I hope I can catch up soon. Caring for Smokey and Mema is not nearly as difficult when I know the bills are paid. It just becomes more frustrating when things are not in order.

More later. Thank you, Caregiving.com, thank you.