Jul 23 2012 in Greenbayfam4life by Greenbayfam4life
(Our newest blogger, Greenbayfam4life, joined our site earlier this morning. He cares for his fiance, who has lung cancer. They have a nine-year-old son.)
Just getting home from the emergency room. Second trip in a week for the same discomfort and pain in the belly area.
I lost it again today when she said she wanted to go to the ER. I just get tired of hearing these doctor repeat themselves. There used to be a day when we heard, “We will look into new ways to treat your pain!”
But, now they ask, “So are the medicines at home making you comfortable at least?” or “Have you contacted Hospice as of yet?” How fast things change, in just a matter of five days or weeks. On the 11th of July they told us that her cancer had advanced and that we have used all the top meds as far as IV form, so we will try the best oral form to try to slow down the advancement.
Crazy how that conversation has bought on a whole new beast to go along with everything else. Ascites has set in and we have gone weekly to get tapped (however you spell it). But today they saw there is not enough fluid to drain–the belly is so huge and uncomfortable. I just wipe the tears flowing down her eyes.
I feel like I am trapped in a movie and she is the leading lady. She fights like a heavy weight champion; I admire her strength and cherish her means to win. But I look and see how tired she is and how much she hurts. I wish I can take the pain away.