My Broken Thought
Denise has a question posted, “What thought will you break from?”, basically asking what negative, unhelpful thoughts, ideas, self-beliefs about yourself or your situation are you holding on to, and what could you replace them with? Here’s mine:
“My dad is going to die.”
That’s my biggest challenge right now. To stop skipping several steps ahead, plan the funeral, notifications, settlement of the estate and instead allow my Dad the honor and dignity of still being alive today. My replacement thought:
“My dad is alive right now.”
I don’t know the future, God didn’t leave me in charge (good thing). Besides, we come from hardy stock, the men in my family. We routinely prove Dr’s wrong.
I brought Mom in to see Dad. She didn’t recognize him. I had to explain who he was. She wasn’t impressed and wanted to leave. Their relationship is now entirely in her mind.
This morning my dad showed some response to stimulus. It was a welcome sign.
He hasn’t opened his eyes since Friday, hasn’t eaten or drank since Wednesday, he can no longer form words.
But he squeezed my hand as I spoke to him.
He may be soon leaving us (or not), but today… he’s alive.
As he held my hand I whispered in his ear, “You can rest…”