My Broken Thought
Aug 26 2012 in Blogs, Caring for Parents and Kids, Jo's Blog by Jo
Denise has a question posted, “What thought will you break from?”, basically asking what negative, unhelpful thoughts, ideas, self-beliefs about yourself or your situation are you holding on to, and what could you replace them with? Here’s mine:
“My dad is going to die.”
That’s my biggest challenge right now. To stop skipping several steps ahead, plan the funeral, notifications, settlement of the estate and instead allow my Dad the honor and dignity of still being alive today. My replacement thought:
“My dad is alive right now.”
I don’t know the future, God didn’t leave me in charge (good thing). Besides, we come from hardy stock, the men in my family. We routinely prove Dr’s wrong.
I brought Mom in to see Dad. She didn’t recognize him. I had to explain who he was. She wasn’t impressed and wanted to leave. Their relationship is now entirely in her mind.
This morning my dad showed some response to stimulus. It was a welcome sign.
He hasn’t opened his eyes since Friday, hasn’t eaten or drank since Wednesday, he can no longer form words.
But he squeezed my hand as I spoke to him.
He may be soon leaving us (or not), but today… he’s alive.
As he held my hand I whispered in his ear, “You can rest…”
Kathy said on August 26, 2012
freeing yourself from that thought means you can rest too Jo.
Today, right now you are both sharing a squeeze.
this moment of living is good
ejourneys said on August 26, 2012
(((Hugs)))
I felt comforted knowing that your Dad is with your Mom in her mind. That he lives there for her.
And that he and so much else lives in that squeeze.
Denise said on August 26, 2012
Ah, I read this as your broken heart.
The hand squeeze says it all. He knows and he loves.
So glad to read your updates.
Bette said on August 27, 2012
Hi Jo,
Thinking of you all today.
You continue to reassure as your Dad reassures you. Seems as though the men in your family have a long line of strengths as well.
Your Dad is so blessed – you know exactly what’s important Jo – you always do. Enjoy the quiet time in the now with your Dad.
Sharon said on August 27, 2012
Jo, I know your heart is broken; and yet you display that quiet stillness of spirit which I know comes from above. May you have many precious moments with you Dad. Prayers for you from me, Jo.
Meryl said on August 28, 2012
Jo, many hugs to you as I know this is a difficult time. I know how hard it is not to look at the future but you still have him here and focusing on that is special and precious. Take each day as it comes and treasure each moment you have.
Pegi said on August 28, 2012
What a beautiful thought…you’re making every moment count. Your Dad squeezing your hand, as if to reassure you. May you be blessed with the strength you’ve shown today as time goes by.