Postgame
Sep 17 2012 in Blogs, Caring for Parents and Kids, Jo's Blog by Jo
I tried briefly to explain to Mom what had happened, that her husband was dead but even standing in the room looking at Dad’s body, Mom could not comprehend what had happened. I tried another track.
Mom frequently talks about her parents. Of course she always talk about them in the present tense, she’s going to see them or talk to them… as if they are still alive. They died decades ago.
I told Mom that Dad was leaving on a trip to see her parents. Mom understood that. She just couldn’t fathom why he was going on a trip and leaving her behind.
As I saw Mom to bed this evening, she worried about me eating enough and we laughed together over something silly.
I won’t be able to take Mom across country to the service and burial, too hard to travel with her. I’m thinking though of a separate event after I return, local to us which both Mom and the nursing home staff can participate in. A picnic or something. The staff has become like family and they are grieving Dad’s death as well.
Denise said on September 18, 2012
Hi Jo–I’m always amazed at how well you do with explanations–with your parents, your kids, with us. It’s a great gift to have.
Another trip for you. It’s almost a year, isn’t it, that your brother died? I’m so sorry for all these losses, Jo. We’re all thinking of you.
Write us when you can.
Sharon said on September 18, 2012
Again, Jo, I am so sorry for the loss of your Dad and also your past losses. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I think your idea of a seperate local event sounds wonderful.
Bette said on September 18, 2012
Hi Jo,
How you explained about your Dad was such a gift to your Mom.You met her right where she is – as you do for each of us.
I think sharing your Dad’s memory with so many is a wonderful idea as well – giving the staff a chance to honor him.
Thinking of each of you especially this week.
ejourneys said on September 18, 2012
Hi, Jo — I agree with all of Bette’s points. I love the way you communicated within your Mom’s perspective, and the way you include the staff as family. Sending gentle hugs to you and yours.
Trish said on September 18, 2012
Jo, What a wonderful idea to have an event with your mom and staff in order for them to honor your dad. It’s quite remarkable how you think of others even while grieving and taking care of all the details you must at this time. My heart goes out to you, Jo. Sending hugs!
Kathy said on September 21, 2012
Jo,
I’m just now catching up and I want to extend my deepest condolences to you and your family for the passing of your dad.
I think a small gathering for your mom and the staff is a wonderful idea.
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers
{{{hugs}}}