How Do You Protect Your Caree’s Privacy As You Seek Support?
Sep 3 2012 in Denise's Blog, Your Caregiving Journey by Denise
On Saturday, ejourneys joined me for Table Talk on Your Caregiving Journey; you can listen to our show via the player below.
We spoke about the delicate balance that happens during caregiving–you want to seek out support for yourself but you also want to protect your caree’s privacy. ejourneys spoke about her increasing comfort level as she reached out for support and help from health care professionals and then family caregivers.
I’d love to know: Do you worry about how your caree may feel when you talk about your caregiving situation? If appropriate, how do you talk about your caregiving role with your caree? Please share your thoughts in our comments section, below.
Program Note: ejourneys will join me for Table Talk on October 6. We’ll tackle this question: Should I be everything for my caree? And, Janet, who cares for her husband, will join me this Saturday (September 8) at 11 a.m. ET (10 a.m. CT, 8 a.m. PT) to talk about stress management techniques.
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Bette said on September 3, 2012
I enjoyed this show Denise and Ejourneys, very much – thank you. I look forward to October 6th.
Sharing about our caregiving situation does require a “delicate balance”. You want to be respectful, but need to be honest, to obtain the support you need to continue.
I am so grateful for my blogs. Recently, I’ve been pondering some “what ifs”.
In my blogs and in the video I created thanks to Denise’s suggestion http://bit.ly/LRW4vq I am able to understand and remember all that was happening with my mother’s needs (over a period of two and half years). Had it not been for my blogs and the video, I would be stuck in a spot making it much more difficult to find the healing that my mother would so want me to have.
I have concrete pieces of information that, when you lose someone, concrete is not something you can find very easily.
The words my mother and I shared (I don’t have to try and remember if I said something, or about her responses), the thoughts I had: all recorded for comfort then and for comfort now.
I think our carees would be grateful we receive support for us, while providing support for them.
Chris said on September 4, 2012
Like Bette, I enjoyed Saturday’s show quite a bit too.
“The Little One’ and I talk quite openly about our current Caregiving experience. I am sure our ability to talk openly comes from the fact that we were both caregivers for our previous partners. We both earned quite a bit from those previous experiences, which in a lot of ways, makes our current experience easier. We both talk openly about what transpired with our deceased partners and how we handled all the calamities that we faced on a daily basis. While having the previous experience as a caregiver does not make dealing with the reality of illness any easier, the previous experience allows us to provide us with a reality check.
While I did not know ‘The Little One’s deceased partner Herman, ‘The Little One’ knew my deceased partner Richard. While in hospice Richard told ‘The Little One’…”I would never tell Chris this, but I would not know what I would have done without him.” Strange enough, ‘The Little One’s’ deceased partner, said the same thing about him to a friend of theirs before he died.
What we learned from our previous experience is that we cannot leave anything unsaid or to wonderment. Because once they’re gone, there is no way to recapture the moment, no way to express those unspoken words, no way to right a wrong. We have to be as transparent as possible, for in those moments we are our best supporters.
Chris said on September 4, 2012
I should also proofread before I hit add comment!