Counseling
Oct 21 2012 in Meryl's Blog by Meryl
Yesterday I went for my first counseling session. The therapist was very sweet and I felt comfortable enough to talk to her. She is affiliated with the nursing home so she has a better understanding of what goes on there. I have to say for my first time going in a really long time, I was surprised that I did not cry as much as I thought I would. I need to vent. I need to be strong and I need to learn how to deal with these situations better.
For me to go for counseling meant that I needed to ask for help. I never ask for help as I am usually the one who gives it. It’s hard enough having to deal with my mothers declining health all alone but there have been some horrible turn of events that took place earlier this year and the domino effects that are taking place now which I have been trying to push away in my mind but apparently I haven’t succeeded.
My mom and I have never been close due to things that have happened many years ago. Some families are lucky to have that bond, others aren’t. I sometimes viewed being her caregiver as a burden but recently I realized that I was the lucky one and that I can let go of the grudges that held us apart for many years. I still don’t like dealing with this on my own but I know I am doing the best that I can in a situation that is not an easy one.
The bottom line is that you have to take care of yourself as well. Something that I never did as I always took care of everyone else first. Two weeks ago I finally went to a doctor that I haven’t been to in years for a checkup and yesterday I went to the dentist which I haven’t been to in months.
I am going to use my counseling sessions to my advantage. I am learning that you shouldn’t feel guilty about helping yourself to have a better life. I can’t be of any help to my mom if I am no help to myself.
Trish said on October 21, 2012
Meryl, I’m very happy you are doing things for you! You’re so right that you have to take care of yourself in order to be strong enough to help someone else. Kudos to you for reaching out for help! You sound stronger already. Have a wonderful day!
Meryl said on October 21, 2012
Thanks Trish! I always knew what my problems were but never knew how to solve them. The emotional build up that took place this year needs to come out and not in the form of anger or guilt. I want to change my life where I can be free of that and this is what I am going to work on. I guess I was also in denial and thought I can handle it all but it was at my own expense.
Hope you have a great weekend as well!
ejourneys said on October 21, 2012
Meryl, I identify with your need to know how to solve those problems. When I went into therapy I said, “I need tools!” I’m very glad the therapist is simpatico and knows what the nursing home is like. Kudos for taking care of you!
Bette said on October 22, 2012
Hi Meryl,
I’m glad your first session was a positive one. It sounds as if you are able to talk openly with this counselor. To be able to sort through and understand your thinking during such a challenging time, will continue to be such a help.
Your mom is so fortunate to have your love and concern; your concern for yourself as well.
Hope you continue to feel better. Thank you for your update.
Denise said on October 22, 2012
This is awesome, Meryl. I’m so glad you had a good session. I hope this week feels more settled for you. Thanks for keeping us posted–you help others when you write how you help yourself.